Tag Archive | Purpose Driven Life

10 Ways To Embrace Grief & Life

Jul29

There are few things as life altering as grief.

Grief changes everything. It’ll change life as you knew it. It changes you…it changes everyone left behind…it can change your health, finances (for the good or bad), holidays…as well as everything you think, feel, and how you will now walk through life.

Nothing is left untouched.

Something I found through one of my worst grief experiences was surprising.

As I was praying, and pleading with God, “How am I ever going to get through this?!?”…a thought came to mind later that afternoon:

“Embrace your grief.”

I remember that sounding absolutely ridiculous…cruel…and awful. I mean, why would I want to embrace the very thing that was bringing me such horrible heartache?

I decided I would attempt embracing my grief…and I found this:

The more you embrace your grief (or whatever hard thing you are going through in life), the more brilliant the personal transformation.

It felt counterintuitive…but that’s when the beginning of true healing began to take place.

Even some of the “roadblocks” I had faced in my grief, I began to have a transformational ability to grow through.

I was shocked.

When going through grief…or anything else…I have found the best way to “embrace my grief” is actually embracing a lot more:

  1. Embrace God. Pour your heart out to Him. Ask the tough questions. Bring to God your heartache, worries, fear, concerns—every present, past, & future emotion & concern you’re experiencing—and ask God to do more than you can ask, think, or imagine….to even bring good & purpose out of the pain …and trust Him.
    By the way… You may be upset with God right now…(trust me, after losing multiple family members and friends within months, I struggled)…but it is VITAL to keep your communication open with God every single day. When you can’t trust God’s plan…I choose to trust His heart. NOBODY loves you more than Him.
  2. Embrace your grief. Grief is one of the most powerful teachers you’ll ever learn from. It refines your life… Your relationships… How you view life & situations… Massively changes priorities… Develops empathy, wisdom, strength, compassion… It is a holy work that cleanses your heart and soul. Don’t run away from grief…embrace it. There is tremendous treasure in it. The important lessons learned from grief are priceless. You can’t buy them on Amazon. You purchase them with each teardrop you cry. They are way too expensive to not learn and embrace.
  3. Embrace simplifying your life. Once you go through Grief, it’s amazing how things you thought were important before…they melt. You find, after loss, that the little things mean a whole lot more. Suddenly, you find that materialistic or worldly things no longer hold the same meaning you previously thought. Instead, you realize the “real” stuff … the people you love best and things you experienced everyday become extravagantly extraordinary. Family and friends… A beautiful sunrise or sunset… A good cup of coffee or tea or simple pleasures, such as a scoop of ice cream with loved ones… A specific Bible verse or song… A walk in nature or just breathing in fresh air outside… Getting a good night sleep… It’s amazing how these “little things” will bring more joy, contentment, and comfort to your soul than previously before. You’ll find that God, people, nature, and the “little things” in life are an extravagant extraordinary gift.
  4. Embrace that we’re not in control. There are some things we can control in our lives… Grief isn’t one of them. We can’t go around it… Can’t go above it… Can’t go under it. If we’re gonna GET through it, we have to GO through it. To attempt to not go through grief…to try to escape it…we can shortchange ourselves. Share with God that you’re giving up all control to Him… And then leave the results and responsibility with Him. God is faithful and will guide you through it.
  5. Embrace what you CAN do. Don’t focus on what you can’t do… Focus on what you can do. Even if it’s just getting up for the day, getting dressed, keeping your kitchen clean, reading one Bible verse, and talking with a trusted family member or friend every day…it’ll help you as you walk through grief.
  6. Embrace encouraging and praying for others. Look for ways to pray – for the people you love best in life…for those you know who are hurting…for the world…any topic that is dear to your heart…pray for ways and opportunities to encourage others.
    Prayer changes everything. It’s one of the best investments of your time.
  7. On your worst days, embrace blessing others. Write letters of deep appreciation to everyone who has invested in your life: God, family members, friends, former educators (preschool – college), pastors who have made a mark on your life, and anyone who has benefited your life or made a deep impact on your heart. There’s something incredibly powerful about appreciating, blessing, and being grateful for every good person and thing in our lives.
  8. Embrace peace and relaxation. Sometimes, the soul just needs a break. It needs to cut out all of the “noise”… And just “be” and “breathe”. Consider the things that bring deep peace and relaxation to you. It could be sitting on the patio… Watching the birds outside… Sitting with your favorite people or a beloved pet… Taking a bath… Turning on some soft music. Singing to God and/or praying… Playing a musical instrument… All the things that are truly good for the soul.
  9. Embrace HOPE and PURPOSE. Hope is realizing that the pain is not always going to pierce as terribly as it is today. It’s not always going to be or feel as bad as it currently does. Hope is choosing to believe things can change for the better. Frequently remind your heart of this and other truths that can truly give you hope. Once you embrace hope, comes purpose. Pursuing your purpose in life opens up truly living life. Read Rick Warren’s The Purpose Driven Life and Chazown by Craig Groeschel. Both will give you fresh hope and a whole new purpose and perspective.
  10. Embrace health, nurturing, and self-care. Spiritual, physical, emotional, mental, and relational heath can either make us or break us. What we neglect, we can lose. In grief, it can feel daunting to do anything. It becomes important to do what we are able to do. Read a Bible verse and meditate on it before sleeping at night. Sending a text that tells your loved ones you love them and care. Taking time each day to take a walk. Making the time to relax. Showing kindness to your heart and the hearts around you. All of these, and more, are embracing health. Do what you can do right now. In the days to come, grow in this areas. You and your loved ones are so incredibly valuable. You’ll find as your relationships and these vital areas are nurtured, you’ll find a much more meaningful life.
  11. Embrace your family and honoring your loved one(s) who graduated to Heaven — and knowing it’s ok to smile again…and eventually love life. It’s more than OK… even for the rest of your life…to love, talk about, remember, think about, & honor your treasured loved one. There should be no pressure to say “goodbye“ — because it’s not goodbye… It is truly “see you later“. Your person was – and still is – incredibly important to you. No one should have to feel the pressure of a loved one not being an important part of our lives. As we do things in their honor…doing activities they loved, listening to a song that reminds you of them, or going to their favorite restaurant … One day, we will be able to see them again — and they’ll be able to share what all they did in heaven and we will be able to share everything we did here on earth. Think about how great that conversation is going to be. We also need to understand the incredible importance of not missing out on opportunities to love, enjoy, and spend time with our remaining loved ones. It’s ok to fully live life. It’s ok to do things WE enjoy…to pursue activities that we use to love and enjoy…to smile…to laugh…our loved ones both here and in Heaven would really like that. We will ALWAYS love, remember, and honor our person/people in Heaven…and we need to value our family and friends on earth. It’s a balance…and of course it can be tough while going through grief…but baby steps can be taken each and everyday to prevent future regrets. And your life is valuable. After all you’ve been through, please be kind to your heart…you deserve to feel joy again…even if it’s in time.💕

I hope these thoughts encourage you and I pray God will comfort and hug your heart deeply today.

God, loved ones, life, love, encouragement, hope, goals, dreams…all are worth embracing.

🩷What can you choose to embrace starting today during your time of grief or tough life event?

As I said at the beginning of this post:

“The more you embrace your grief (or whatever hard thing you are going through in life), the more brilliant the personal transformation.”

Wishing you a time of encouragement, hope, embrace, and transformation as you grieve.

~ Kim (Co-founder of Grief Bites, Author, and YouVersion Partner)

©2026 Grief Bites. All rights reserved.

If you were encouraged by this post, please feel free to share it to encourage others!

FREE YouVersion reading plans:

  1. Lord, How Am I Ever Going to Get Through This?:: https://www.bible.com/en/ 
  2. Grief Bites: Finding Treasure In Hardships: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/912-grief-bites-finding-treasure-in-hardships
  3. Grief Bites: Doubt Revealed: https:// http://www.bible.com/reading-plans/954grief-bites-doubt-revealed
  4. Grief Bites: A New Approach To Growing Through Grief https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/862-grief-bites
  5. Grief Bites: Hope For The Holidays: https:// http://www.bible.com/reading-plans/1964-grief-bites-hope-for-the-holidays
  6. Experiencing Holidays With Jesus: Christmas: http://bible.com/r/3V5
  7. Experiencing Holidays With Jesus: Happy New Year!: http://bible.com/r/3ZV
  8. Valentine’s Day: Experiencing Holidays With Jesus: https://www.bible.com/reading plans/14059-valentines-day-experiencing-holidays-with-jesus
  9. The True Treasure of Christmas: https://www.bible.com/en/reading-plans/28852

Can You Imagine? Something To Ponder This Christmas❤️

Dec24

Christmas  Eve.
The peaceful night before our Lord was born.

Truly ponder what an incredible night that was!

Father God knowing what was about to happen…

…how His majestic Perfect Plan would make way for the world to forever change in 33 or so years through His sweet, newborn Son.

I can just imagine what an incredibly special, awestruck, and brilliant moment it was when Father God would soon hear His precious Son’s first breath! Can you imagine?

And with Father God also fully understanding what would happen to His beloved Son in 33 years…

…how the creation He so deeply cherished and loved would have the ability to finally – and thoroughly – connect with Him in deep love and friendship through His Son.

…knowing how His newborn Son would greatly suffer one day…

…realizing what horrible pain and agony His Son would experience.

As the Father anticipated hearing His precious newborn’s first cry, the Father fully already knew of the terribly anguishing cries of the Cross…

…yet in His great, GREAT love for us, He STILL chose to sacrificially carry out His extravagantly loving plan.

I can just imagine how Father God’s great big beautiful heart carried the most awful, crushing, yet beautifully bittersweet feeling.

That precious, soon to be incredibly important day in all of history.

That incredible Christmas Eve when the angels waited with great anticipation and great expectation.

That glorious next day when the King of all Kings would be born in a simple, peaceful, humble stable.

The Father knowing, on that very first Christmas, His Son would choose to die for all mankind. Knowing His Son’s birth would ultimately lead to being painfully pierced on the cross … to save the humans He loved so very much … including you and me.

That distinguished night when this magnificent, splendid, beautiful Son’s purpose was about to unfold and begin…to one day willingly lay down His life and take on – and fully feel and experience – every heartache, sin, and facet of brokenness of all those He loved.

…Every heartache

…Every sin ever committed

…Every disappointment

…Every grief event

…Everything.

He willingly submitted to God’s plan to save a doomed, hurting, sin-filled, and dying world.

Can you imagine?

And He promises:

…To heal every hurt

…To wipe away every tear

…To help, carry, and see us through every life challenge

…To forgive every sin

…To give each of our lives true and abundant meaning

…To give each of us a specific Life Purpose – a purpose so unique, only we can fulfill it

…To be the most exceptional Best Friend we’ll ever have, experience or know

…To extravagantly, fully, all-in, sacrificially, and wholly love us…with ALL His heart

Ponder…truly ponder…the incredible love and miracle that was about to unfold that very first Christmas night.

You are incredibly loved, cared for, and have a Father God who mightily declares, “You are My beloved…My heart…I love you more than anything…YOU are my treasure.”

Christmas Eve is the night before the most significant day in all of HIStory.

What an extravagant miracle and promise Christmas Eve holds!

Can you imagine His great love for you?

Truly – truly – ponder it!

Prayer: “Father God, I cannot even comprehend how Your great heart felt the night before Your precious Son was born — and I cannot even comprehend what great joy and pain coincided in Your heart the day Your precious Son was born. Thank You, Abba Father, for your extraordinary plan and for Your Son’s magnificent sacrifice! We certainly have done nothing to deserve such a lavish, extravagant, and sacrificial Gift…the only thing we can humbly contribute to such magnificent Love and extraordinary forgiveness is our own sin…but we are extremely thankful You love us so much that You orchestrated the most marvelous, perfect, miraculous plan! This Christmas Eve, may we not only see the beauty in Your precious, perfect plan, may we also be so humbled as we celebrate the birth of Your Son and His great sacrifice! There are simply not enough words to thank You – and show love to You – for Your special Christmas Gift! We love, cherish, treasure, and adore You so very, VERY much! Father, THANK YOU!! In Jesus name we pray, Amen!”

Lookup: Titus 3:3-7, Luke 2:17-20, Luke 2:10

This #YouVersion devotional © 2018 by Kim Niles of Grief Bites. All rights reserved. Used by permission

Making peace with God❤️: http://www.peacewithgod.net

Grief Bites blog: http://www.griefbites.com

Getting Your Breath Back After Life Knocks It Out of You (Kim’s book): https://www.christianbook.com/getting-knocks-transparent-journey-seeking-through/k-b-h-niles/

Connect on Facebook by “liking” page: https://www.facebook.com/GettingYourBreathBackAfterGrief

Check our Pastor Rick Warren’s (of Saddleback Church) book ‘The Purpose Driven Life: What On Earth Am I Here For?”

⭐️All content on the Grief Bites blog and website is copyright protected material. Please ask for permission to copy, use, or print.

⭐️⭐️All content on the Grief Bites blog and website is for encouragement purposes only and is not in any way to be construed as medical, emotional, mental, relational, or psychological advice. We hope to serve as a bridge to encourage others by sharing our personal grief and life experiences. Please contact a qualified healthcare professional, mental health professional, or qualified pastor for guidance and advice.

You’re In More Control Than You Think

Oct29

Grief, stress, “life,” and the people around you can definitely have a profound affect on you, as well as affect the overall quality of your life. Until a few years ago, I never could have realized how much of an affect.

Then I got sick. Really, really sick.

At the time, I was used to running 3-5 miles a day, playing disc golf several times a week, practicing tae kwon do daily, and basically doing whatever I wanted physically…because I had the ability to do so.

Then I not only got really sick…I completely lost my health.

It took me almost four years to rebuild my immune system and get my health back…and during that time, I couldn’t hardly do anything but sit. And sometimes, just sitting was painful. Some days were so bad, I couldn’t even get out of bed. My veins throughout my entire body felt as though fire was traveling through them, my hair started falling out, the fatigue and pain were both debilitating, and the weight gain began rapidly even though I was a very health-minded, clean eater.

My doctors explained to me that my illness was created due to prolonged stress…and the illness would be lifelong, attached to me like permanent superglue. They explained the difference between having typical day-to-day stress and being distressed to where the stress becomes toxic.

After I found out my illness could’ve been prevented (had I only simply set boundaries and controlled my surroundings and the people/stress I allowed into my life) I went through many emotions. Sadness because my illness wasn’t curable. Unforgiveness – for a period of time – at certain people or situations that had created extreme stress or hurt. Anger towards myself for not setting better and stronger boundaries. Fear because, at the time, I had no idea how to control my illness or its debilitating symptoms. Grief…because life as I previously knew it was over.

I felt as though I was thrown into oblivion and I had to figure life out all over again….what to eat, so as to not trigger or make my symptoms worse…what to do medically, so I could understand what the best medicines, supplements, and prescriptions were for regaining my health…what work or social events to accept or decline based on my health…which people to be around—or to not be around—so stress wouldn’t trigger symptoms…what to do spiritually, emotionally, physically, and mentally so I could prepare my heart to fight for my health (talk about self-work!). I was knocked down and wasn’t sure how to get back up.

It was a scary time of completely reevaluating my entire life in every area so I could regain my health…and prevent new and additional illnesses from forming.

This health crisis allowed me to find out something new that I had never realized before: I was so much more in control than what I had previously thought or realized.

I found that if I couldn’t control the actions of others, my circumstances, my grief experiences, or my environment, I COULD at least control the actions, thoughts, as well as the emotional and spiritual health, of myself. I had complete control over me and I had complete control over what I allowed to go on around me and inside my own heart.

As I worked with my specialists to regain my health, I intentionally removed anything and everything toxic in my life: toxic foods, toxic habits, toxic thoughts, toxic emotional baggage, toxic situations, toxic unwise schedules, and toxic people. This was difficult to do, but I wasn’t willing for my health to further deteriorate. Courage became necessary to regain my quality of life, and at the time, courage wasn’t exactly my forte. Having the knowledge my illness was lifelong, I realized this wasn’t going to be a quick fix—anything I did had to be “all-in” and longterm.

As I repaired my health, and my rheumatologist, hematologist, and endocrinologist conveyed the importance of a stress-free lifestyle, I realized just how much power stress has on a person’s wellness. As I took the steps to regain my health, I often wondered if my sister possibly could’ve prevented her illness (or death) had she only had the knowledge about the stress and illness correlation.

Whether it’s an illness, grief, trials, life circumstances…anything…we all are so much more in control than we think. I’ve been surprised by my strength to overcome obstacles in dealing with getting well. I know I never would’ve refined and sifted the contents of my life had I not been forced into doing so due to becoming ill.

Like anything I go through in life, I always try to find something good that can come out of any trial. The good that came out of my illness is I found out so much about life and myself: that health and wellness are absolute gifts that should never be taken for granted…what I’m willing to tolerate or put up with and what I’m not…what I love about life and what I don’t…that God is an incredible Friend and Comforter…that life is a gift to never be wasted…I also learned about setting wise boundaries and priorities…and I learned life doesn’t just have “to happen” and I don’t have to just roll with the punches—I learned that I am so much more in control than I previously thought.

It took me almost 4 years to regain my health, but I’m so glad God allowed healing to take place and allowed me to realize I had a lot of control over my life, illness, and wellness.

The thoughts that ran through my mind while I was at my sickest, I’ll share with you. They tremendously helped me and put my life in perspective. Maybe they’ll help someone else today:

What’s plaguing your heart today? What’s weighing you down? What’s preventing you from living life to the fullest? What past baggage is controlling your present life? What’s keeping you from fully knowing, loving, and enjoying God? What is your life purpose and how do you plan to cooperate with God to fulfill it? What’s keeping you from fully loving and enjoying your family and friends? What changes do you need to make to have better health? What kind of life do you want and what steps can you take to achieve it? What courage and character qualities do you need to develop to see you through? What do you need to do today to make all of this a reality?

Every morning I’d say two things to myself (I still do):

“Today is the first day of the rest of your life…make every ounce of it count”

“If it is to be, it’s up to me”

Consider if you’re truly happy with your wellness and the way life is going…or if you need to change things or tune life up.

You’re in more control than you think!

Gratitude & blessings,

Kim

A few inspiring websites* that may be helpful~

(*websites are for encouragement purposes only and are not an endorsement. View websites at own risk.)

©2015 Grief Bites. All rights reserved.

❤️

For more encouragement:

Getting Your Breath Back After Life Knocks It Out of You (book): Click here for Kim’s book

Kim’s blog: http://www.griefbites.com

Connect on Facebook by “liking” page: http://www.facebook.com/GettingYourBreathBackAfterGrief

FREE YouVersion reading plans:

1. Grief Bites: Finding Treasure In Hardships: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/912-grief-bites-finding-treasure-in-hardships

2. Grief Bites: Doubt Revealed: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/954-grief-bites-doubt-revealed

3. Grief Bites: A New Approach To Growing Through Grief: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/862-grief-bites

4. Grief Bites: Hope For The Holidays: (Coming November 4, 2015)