There are few things as life altering as grief.
Grief changes everything. It’ll change life as you knew it. It changes you…it changes everyone left behind…it can change your health, finances (for the good or bad), holidays…as well as everything you think, feel, and how you will now walk through life.
Nothing is left untouched.
Something I found through one of my worst grief experiences was surprising.
As I was praying, and pleading with God, “How am I ever going to get through this?!?”…a thought came to mind later that afternoon:
“Embrace your grief.”
I remember that sounding absolutely ridiculous…cruel…and awful. I mean, why would I want to embrace the very thing that was bringing me such horrible heartache?
I decided I would attempt embracing my grief…and I found this:
The more you embrace your grief (or whatever hard thing you are going through in life), the more brilliant the personal transformation.
It felt counterintuitive…but that’s when the beginning of true healing began to take place.
Even some of the “roadblocks” I had faced in my grief, I began to have a transformational ability to grow through.
I was shocked.
When going through grief…or anything else…I have found the best way to “embrace my grief” is actually embracing a lot more:
- Embrace God. Pour your heart out to Him. Ask the tough questions. Bring to God your heartache, worries, fear, concerns—every present, past, & future emotion & concern you’re experiencing—and ask God to do more than you can ask, think, or imagine….to even bring good & purpose out of the pain …and trust Him.
By the way… You may be upset with God right now…(trust me, after losing multiple family members and friends within months, I struggled)…but it is VITAL to keep your communication open with God every single day. When you can’t trust God’s plan…I choose to trust His heart. NOBODY loves you more than Him. - Embrace your grief. Grief is one of the most powerful teachers you’ll ever learn from. It refines your life… Your relationships… How you view life & situations… Massively changes priorities… Develops empathy, wisdom, strength, compassion… It is a holy work that cleanses your heart and soul. Don’t run away from grief…embrace it. There is tremendous treasure in it. The important lessons learned from grief are priceless. You can’t buy them on Amazon. You purchase them with each teardrop you cry. They are way too expensive to not learn and embrace.
- Embrace simplifying your life. Once you go through Grief, it’s amazing how things you thought were important before…they melt. You find, after loss, that the little things mean a whole lot more. Suddenly, you find that materialistic or worldly things no longer hold the same meaning you previously thought. Instead, you realize the “real” stuff … the people you love best and things you experienced everyday become extravagantly extraordinary. Family and friends… A beautiful sunrise or sunset… A good cup of coffee or tea or simple pleasures, such as a scoop of ice cream with loved ones… A specific Bible verse or song… A walk in nature or just breathing in fresh air outside… Getting a good night sleep… It’s amazing how these “little things” will bring more joy, contentment, and comfort to your soul than previously before. You’ll find that God, people, nature, and the “little things” in life are an extravagant extraordinary gift.
- Embrace that we’re not in control. There are some things we can control in our lives… Grief isn’t one of them. We can’t go around it… Can’t go above it… Can’t go under it. If we’re gonna GET through it, we have to GO through it. To attempt to not go through grief…to try to escape it…we can shortchange ourselves. Share with God that you’re giving up all control to Him… And then leave the results and responsibility with Him. God is faithful and will guide you through it.
- Embrace what you CAN do. Don’t focus on what you can’t do… Focus on what you can do. Even if it’s just getting up for the day, getting dressed, keeping your kitchen clean, reading one Bible verse, and talking with a trusted family member or friend every day…it’ll help you as you walk through grief.
- Embrace encouraging and praying for others. Look for ways to pray – for the people you love best in life…for those you know who are hurting…for the world…any topic that is dear to your heart…pray for ways and opportunities to encourage others.
Prayer changes everything. It’s one of the best investments of your time. - On your worst days, embrace blessing others. Write letters of deep appreciation to everyone who has invested in your life: God, family members, friends, former educators (preschool – college), pastors who have made a mark on your life, and anyone who has benefited your life or made a deep impact on your heart. There’s something incredibly powerful about appreciating, blessing, and being grateful for every good person and thing in our lives.
- Embrace peace and relaxation. Sometimes, the soul just needs a break. It needs to cut out all of the “noise”… And just “be” and “breathe”. Consider the things that bring deep peace and relaxation to you. It could be sitting on the patio… Watching the birds outside… Sitting with your favorite people or a beloved pet… Taking a bath… Turning on some soft music. Singing to God and/or praying… Playing a musical instrument… All the things that are truly good for the soul.
- Embrace HOPE and PURPOSE. Hope is realizing that the pain is not always going to pierce as terribly as it is today. It’s not always going to be or feel as bad as it currently does. Hope is choosing to believe things can change for the better. Frequently remind your heart of this and other truths that can truly give you hope. Once you embrace hope, comes purpose. Pursuing your purpose in life opens up truly living life. Read Rick Warren’s The Purpose Driven Life and Chazown by Craig Groeschel. Both will give you fresh hope and a whole new purpose and perspective.
- Embrace health, nurturing, and self-care. Spiritual, physical, emotional, mental, and relational heath can either make us or break us. What we neglect, we can lose. In grief, it can feel daunting to do anything. It becomes important to do what we are able to do. Read a Bible verse and meditate on it before sleeping at night. Sending a text that tells your loved ones you love them and care. Taking time each day to take a walk. Making the time to relax. Showing kindness to your heart and the hearts around you. All of these, and more, are embracing health. Do what you can do right now. In the days to come, grow in this areas. You and your loved ones are so incredibly valuable. You’ll find as your relationships and these vital areas are nurtured, you’ll find a much more meaningful life.
- Embrace your family and honoring your loved one(s) who graduated to Heaven — and knowing it’s ok to smile again…and eventually love life. It’s more than OK… even for the rest of your life…to love, talk about, remember, think about, & honor your treasured loved one. There should be no pressure to say “goodbye“ — because it’s not goodbye… It is truly “see you later“. Your person was – and still is – incredibly important to you. No one should have to feel the pressure of a loved one not being an important part of our lives. As we do things in their honor…doing activities they loved, listening to a song that reminds you of them, or going to their favorite restaurant … One day, we will be able to see them again — and they’ll be able to share what all they did in heaven and we will be able to share everything we did here on earth. Think about how great that conversation is going to be. We also need to understand the incredible importance of not missing out on opportunities to love, enjoy, and spend time with our remaining loved ones. It’s ok to fully live life. It’s ok to do things WE enjoy…to pursue activities that we use to love and enjoy…to smile…to laugh…our loved ones both here and in Heaven would really like that. We will ALWAYS love, remember, and honor our person/people in Heaven…and we need to value our family and friends on earth. It’s a balance…and of course it can be tough while going through grief…but baby steps can be taken each and everyday to prevent future regrets. And your life is valuable. After all you’ve been through, please be kind to your heart…you deserve to feel joy again…even if it’s in time.💕
I hope these thoughts encourage you and I pray God will comfort and hug your heart deeply today.
God, loved ones, life, love, encouragement, hope, goals, dreams…all are worth embracing.
🩷What can you choose to embrace starting today during your time of grief or tough life event?
As I said at the beginning of this post:
“The more you embrace your grief (or whatever hard thing you are going through in life), the more brilliant the personal transformation.”
Wishing you a time of encouragement, hope, embrace, and transformation as you grieve.
~ Kim (Co-founder of Grief Bites, Author, and YouVersion Partner)
©2026 Grief Bites. All rights reserved.
If you were encouraged by this post, please feel free to share it to encourage others!
- For more encouragement: Making peace with God: http://www.peacewithgod.net
- Getting Your Breath Back After Life Knocks It Out of You (Kim’s book): https:// http://www.christianbook.com/getting-knocks-transparent-journey-seeking-through/k-b-h-niles/
- Connect on Facebook by “liking” page: https://www.facebook.com/GettingYourBreathBackAfterGrief
- Kim’s blog: https://www.griefbites.com
FREE YouVersion reading plans:
- Lord, How Am I Ever Going to Get Through This?:: https://www.bible.com/en/
- Grief Bites: Finding Treasure In Hardships: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/912-grief-bites-finding-treasure-in-hardships
- Grief Bites: Doubt Revealed: https:// http://www.bible.com/reading-plans/954grief-bites-doubt-revealed
- Grief Bites: A New Approach To Growing Through Grief https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/862-grief-bites
- Grief Bites: Hope For The Holidays: https:// http://www.bible.com/reading-plans/1964-grief-bites-hope-for-the-holidays
- Experiencing Holidays With Jesus: Christmas: http://bible.com/r/3V5
- Experiencing Holidays With Jesus: Happy New Year!: http://bible.com/r/3ZV
- Valentine’s Day: Experiencing Holidays With Jesus: https://www.bible.com/reading plans/14059-valentines-day-experiencing-holidays-with-jesus
- The True Treasure of Christmas: https://www.bible.com/en/reading-plans/28852
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