Tag Archive | joy

10 Ways To Embrace Grief & Life

Jul29

There are few things as life altering as grief.

Grief changes everything. It’ll change life as you knew it. It changes you…it changes everyone left behind…it can change your health, finances (for the good or bad), holidays…as well as everything you think, feel, and how you will now walk through life.

Nothing is left untouched.

Something I found through one of my worst grief experiences was surprising.

As I was praying, and pleading with God, “How am I ever going to get through this?!?”…a thought came to mind later that afternoon:

“Embrace your grief.”

I remember that sounding absolutely ridiculous…cruel…and awful. I mean, why would I want to embrace the very thing that was bringing me such horrible heartache?

I decided I would attempt embracing my grief…and I found this:

The more you embrace your grief (or whatever hard thing you are going through in life), the more brilliant the personal transformation.

It felt counterintuitive…but that’s when the beginning of true healing began to take place.

Even some of the “roadblocks” I had faced in my grief, I began to have a transformational ability to grow through.

I was shocked.

When going through grief…or anything else…I have found the best way to “embrace my grief” is actually embracing a lot more:

  1. Embrace God. Pour your heart out to Him. Ask the tough questions. Bring to God your heartache, worries, fear, concerns—every present, past, & future emotion & concern you’re experiencing—and ask God to do more than you can ask, think, or imagine….to even bring good & purpose out of the pain …and trust Him.
    By the way… You may be upset with God right now…(trust me, after losing multiple family members and friends within months, I struggled)…but it is VITAL to keep your communication open with God every single day. When you can’t trust God’s plan…I choose to trust His heart. NOBODY loves you more than Him.
  2. Embrace your grief. Grief is one of the most powerful teachers you’ll ever learn from. It refines your life… Your relationships… How you view life & situations… Massively changes priorities… Develops empathy, wisdom, strength, compassion… It is a holy work that cleanses your heart and soul. Don’t run away from grief…embrace it. There is tremendous treasure in it. The important lessons learned from grief are priceless. You can’t buy them on Amazon. You purchase them with each teardrop you cry. They are way too expensive to not learn and embrace.
  3. Embrace simplifying your life. Once you go through Grief, it’s amazing how things you thought were important before…they melt. You find, after loss, that the little things mean a whole lot more. Suddenly, you find that materialistic or worldly things no longer hold the same meaning you previously thought. Instead, you realize the “real” stuff … the people you love best and things you experienced everyday become extravagantly extraordinary. Family and friends… A beautiful sunrise or sunset… A good cup of coffee or tea or simple pleasures, such as a scoop of ice cream with loved ones… A specific Bible verse or song… A walk in nature or just breathing in fresh air outside… Getting a good night sleep… It’s amazing how these “little things” will bring more joy, contentment, and comfort to your soul than previously before. You’ll find that God, people, nature, and the “little things” in life are an extravagant extraordinary gift.
  4. Embrace that we’re not in control. There are some things we can control in our lives… Grief isn’t one of them. We can’t go around it… Can’t go above it… Can’t go under it. If we’re gonna GET through it, we have to GO through it. To attempt to not go through grief…to try to escape it…we can shortchange ourselves. Share with God that you’re giving up all control to Him… And then leave the results and responsibility with Him. God is faithful and will guide you through it.
  5. Embrace what you CAN do. Don’t focus on what you can’t do… Focus on what you can do. Even if it’s just getting up for the day, getting dressed, keeping your kitchen clean, reading one Bible verse, and talking with a trusted family member or friend every day…it’ll help you as you walk through grief.
  6. Embrace encouraging and praying for others. Look for ways to pray – for the people you love best in life…for those you know who are hurting…for the world…any topic that is dear to your heart…pray for ways and opportunities to encourage others.
    Prayer changes everything. It’s one of the best investments of your time.
  7. On your worst days, embrace blessing others. Write letters of deep appreciation to everyone who has invested in your life: God, family members, friends, former educators (preschool – college), pastors who have made a mark on your life, and anyone who has benefited your life or made a deep impact on your heart. There’s something incredibly powerful about appreciating, blessing, and being grateful for every good person and thing in our lives.
  8. Embrace peace and relaxation. Sometimes, the soul just needs a break. It needs to cut out all of the “noise”… And just “be” and “breathe”. Consider the things that bring deep peace and relaxation to you. It could be sitting on the patio… Watching the birds outside… Sitting with your favorite people or a beloved pet… Taking a bath… Turning on some soft music. Singing to God and/or praying… Playing a musical instrument… All the things that are truly good for the soul.
  9. Embrace HOPE and PURPOSE. Hope is realizing that the pain is not always going to pierce as terribly as it is today. It’s not always going to be or feel as bad as it currently does. Hope is choosing to believe things can change for the better. Frequently remind your heart of this and other truths that can truly give you hope. Once you embrace hope, comes purpose. Pursuing your purpose in life opens up truly living life. Read Rick Warren’s The Purpose Driven Life and Chazown by Craig Groeschel. Both will give you fresh hope and a whole new purpose and perspective.
  10. Embrace health, nurturing, and self-care. Spiritual, physical, emotional, mental, and relational heath can either make us or break us. What we neglect, we can lose. In grief, it can feel daunting to do anything. It becomes important to do what we are able to do. Read a Bible verse and meditate on it before sleeping at night. Sending a text that tells your loved ones you love them and care. Taking time each day to take a walk. Making the time to relax. Showing kindness to your heart and the hearts around you. All of these, and more, are embracing health. Do what you can do right now. In the days to come, grow in this areas. You and your loved ones are so incredibly valuable. You’ll find as your relationships and these vital areas are nurtured, you’ll find a much more meaningful life.
  11. Embrace your family and honoring your loved one(s) who graduated to Heaven — and knowing it’s ok to smile again…and eventually love life. It’s more than OK… even for the rest of your life…to love, talk about, remember, think about, & honor your treasured loved one. There should be no pressure to say “goodbye“ — because it’s not goodbye… It is truly “see you later“. Your person was – and still is – incredibly important to you. No one should have to feel the pressure of a loved one not being an important part of our lives. As we do things in their honor…doing activities they loved, listening to a song that reminds you of them, or going to their favorite restaurant … One day, we will be able to see them again — and they’ll be able to share what all they did in heaven and we will be able to share everything we did here on earth. Think about how great that conversation is going to be. We also need to understand the incredible importance of not missing out on opportunities to love, enjoy, and spend time with our remaining loved ones. It’s ok to fully live life. It’s ok to do things WE enjoy…to pursue activities that we use to love and enjoy…to smile…to laugh…our loved ones both here and in Heaven would really like that. We will ALWAYS love, remember, and honor our person/people in Heaven…and we need to value our family and friends on earth. It’s a balance…and of course it can be tough while going through grief…but baby steps can be taken each and everyday to prevent future regrets. And your life is valuable. After all you’ve been through, please be kind to your heart…you deserve to feel joy again…even if it’s in time.💕

I hope these thoughts encourage you and I pray God will comfort and hug your heart deeply today.

God, loved ones, life, love, encouragement, hope, goals, dreams…all are worth embracing.

🩷What can you choose to embrace starting today during your time of grief or tough life event?

As I said at the beginning of this post:

“The more you embrace your grief (or whatever hard thing you are going through in life), the more brilliant the personal transformation.”

Wishing you a time of encouragement, hope, embrace, and transformation as you grieve.

~ Kim (Co-founder of Grief Bites, Author, and YouVersion Partner)

©2026 Grief Bites. All rights reserved.

If you were encouraged by this post, please feel free to share it to encourage others!

FREE YouVersion reading plans:

  1. Lord, How Am I Ever Going to Get Through This?:: https://www.bible.com/en/ 
  2. Grief Bites: Finding Treasure In Hardships: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/912-grief-bites-finding-treasure-in-hardships
  3. Grief Bites: Doubt Revealed: https:// http://www.bible.com/reading-plans/954grief-bites-doubt-revealed
  4. Grief Bites: A New Approach To Growing Through Grief https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/862-grief-bites
  5. Grief Bites: Hope For The Holidays: https:// http://www.bible.com/reading-plans/1964-grief-bites-hope-for-the-holidays
  6. Experiencing Holidays With Jesus: Christmas: http://bible.com/r/3V5
  7. Experiencing Holidays With Jesus: Happy New Year!: http://bible.com/r/3ZV
  8. Valentine’s Day: Experiencing Holidays With Jesus: https://www.bible.com/reading plans/14059-valentines-day-experiencing-holidays-with-jesus
  9. The True Treasure of Christmas: https://www.bible.com/en/reading-plans/28852

Choosing To Make Every Day A Celebrated Day Throughout Grief

May10

Life is made up of days.

Most people typically describe their day as one of the following:

  • Good
  • Bad
  • Great
  • Fantastic
  • Lovely
  • Terrible
  • Sad
  • Frustrating
  • “Fine”
  • and every other adjective known to mankind

You rarely hear people say, “Celebrated.”

Especially not in grief.

When most people think of the word celebration, they think of birthday parties, weddings, anniversaries, graduations, won sporting events – all of the happy occasions.

These celebrations are easy. They’re all smiles, fun, and enjoyable circumstances. No effort needed at all.

But what about when life gets hard? Really, really hard?

Celebrating every day during grief is much more challenging – but I have found it is equally needed.

The past 10 years, I have been through intense grief…over 30 major grief experiences – including my son’s tumors and surgeries, several family members being diagnosed with cancer, 13 family members dying, and experiencing six close friend’s deaths, my son being greatly wounded by his church and choosing atheism as a result, a family suicide, among other grief events. I’ve also been diagnosed with several autoimmune illnesses throughout this time due to the stress.

There has been extreme anguish throughout this past decade. Debilitating grief and prolonged hardships are all very tough to go through.

When you initially go through intense grief, you don’t feel like celebrating. A good day is holding it together and concealing your tears so you don’t draw unwanted attention to yourself. For some who go through grief, a good day is simply mustering up the courage and energy just to get out of bed.

About half way into all of these grief events, I became concerned that I’d never feel genuine happiness again.

Thankfully, I found happiness and joy are both a choice.

Before you discontinue reading the rest of this blog post, please keep reading on. I understand how annoying that statement sounds. Truly!

It used to majorly annoy me when people would say that happiness and joy were choices…

…until I heard a dear bereaved mother who had lost her adult son to suicide say, “Choose joy!”

Before Kay Warren said those two words, I always thought people were very insensitive to say that joy and happiness were a choice. But when someone can say these words in the midst of excruciating heartache, such as Pastors Rick and Kay Warren, I’ll listen to them.

Because it’s genuine. It’s real. It’s hard-fought. It’s extremely authentic.

I have found that joy and happiness are definitely choices…choices I now intentionally choose every day of my life.

I have also found that choosing to celebrate each day is also a choice.

Before grief, the words joy and celebrate hold much different definitions. These words were easy. Blissful. Comfortable, even.

After grief, you find these two words hold brand new meaning. They’re hard-fought treasures that you had to walk through emotional hell on earth to obtain.

I can’t go back and change anything that has happened in life. I can’t change the heartache and grief I’ve experienced. I can’t bring my loved ones back to life. I can’t undiagnose illness. I can’t undo other people’s hurtful or devastating decisions that led to massive consequences.

I do have complete choice and control over my own personal decisions, though.

Although I would definitely go back in time and change some things…and I most definitely would reverse my loved ones deaths if I could…I wouldn’t give up any lesson I’ve learned through the incredible teacher of Grief.

I have learned a phenomenal amount of life lessons as I embraced my grief.

At first, I saw grief as something that ripped my heart out and was holding it hostage…but as I chose to embrace my grief, the lessons came pouring in. I didn’t embrace my grief at first – I resented it greatly. I am thankful I opened my heart to the rich lessons I have learned, though.

Deep heartache and loss attempted to define my life…I, in turn, sought to allow grief to redefine – and refine – my life instead.

Through many tears, grief allowed me to see things clearer.

I think very differently.

I feel things at a much greater level and have a much higher capacity of intuitiveness.

I have found that the experience of life is viewed, felt, and experienced at a much higher quality.

I’m different, too. Very different than who I once was.

And I am much stronger.

I absolutely do not celebrate any grief event I’ve been through…but I do celebrate the many byproducts – all hard-fought and earned – that I have gained throughout my grief.

A few I most treasure:

  • A much closer, genuine, authentic, and more intimate relationship with God
  • The strength I’ve gained through grief and hardships
  • The ability to clear away the mundane and focus on who and what truly matters in life
  • The incredible ability to love and appreciate my family at a far higher level
  • The depth that is created through hardships and grief…I am no longer comfortable being shallow in any area of life
  • The wisdom, discernment, and understanding you gain through grief
  • The ability to be grateful… genuinely grateful … for everything in life
  • The ability to be a good “read” on people very quickly and the ability to discern even the most subtle emotions of others
  • The ability to appreciate and celebrate each day – regardless of what I’m going through (this gift took years to achieve)

These are just a few of many “gifts” I have received throughout grief. They’re not gifts you’d ever expect…and nobody in their right mind would willingly sign up for grief or hardships to gain them…but they are very precious gifts, nonetheless.

Focus is key in creating a celebration mindset. What you focus on is where your heart will be…and each day, I am given an important choice: If I focus on all of my loss, I will most likely live a life of loss. If I focus on even the smallest celebrations of the day, I’ll live a life of continual, intentional celebration.

I’m not suggesting to bypass grief or that a celebration mindset will remove grief. Absolutely not! Each griever must be true to their grief and thoroughly experience it. To not do that would be to cheapen grief and dishonor loved ones. I still experience grief, sadness, and missing treasured loved ones – for sure, I just also simultaneously choose to experience joy and allow celebration into my daily life.

I have found it helpful … even lifesaving … to balance grief and celebrating the gifts God and life still have to offer.

Each “gift” leads you to the unmistakable truth that every day can be a celebrated day.

Every day is a great day to be alive.

Every day is a fantastic day that you have the exquisite and exclusive gift of being able to love, talk to, share life with, and hug your remaining loved ones. Remaining loved ones truly are an extravagant miracle if you seriously think about it.

Every day offers the new ability to learn more. Know more. Understand more. Empathize more. The more you learn, know, understand, and empathize, you are then able to do better.

Every day allows you to seek and find fresh new strength…and new ways of creating the best “new normal” you not only initially muster – but eventually enjoy.

Every day is an opportunity to enjoy God, remaining loved ones, work, nature, hobbies, adventures, and the simple things in life like working out, savoring a great cup of coffee, enjoying pets, appreciating music, and the ability to set and achieve goals.

Life, no matter what we go through, is the best adventure – an adventure not afforded … or continued … to all. I have found the best way to honor my loved ones (both the deceased and my remaining loved ones) is to honor them by celebrating life.

Just having the breath of life is an extravagant gift…and that is definitely something to celebrate every single day.

The very best days of life may not have even happened yet. On my toughest days, this is a truth I focus on.

Each day – no matter how excruciatingly tough it is – is a choice. We have the ability to squander life or create the life we want…and we make this very important choice each and every day. And this makes every day an opportunity to make the choice of making every day a celebrated day.

Will there be extremely hard days? Yes. Will there be heartbreaking days you dread, where you feel like your grief could literally consume and destroy you? Absolutely!

But with each daily decision to press forward through the pain– and truly see each celebration offered throughout each day, life can eventually be the true celebration you choose and want it to be.

It may take time…maybe even lots of time…but it is possible.

A quote I’d like to encourage you with:

“Although I am grieving, the clock is still ticking, and that’s why I keep living…purposefully.”

How can you choose to make each day a celebrated day?❤️🎁

Gratitude & many blessings,

Kim

©2018 Grief Bites. All rights reserved.

❤️If you were encouraged by this post, please feel free to share it to encourage others!

For more encouragement:

❤️Making peace with God: http://peacewithgod.net

❤️Getting Your Breath Back After Life Knocks It Out of You (Kim’s book): Click here for book

❤️Connect on Facebook by “liking” page: http://www.facebook.com/GettingYourBreathBackAfterGrief

❤️Kim’s blog: http://www.griefbites.com

❤️FREE YouVersion reading plans:

1. Grief Bites: Finding Treasure In Hardships: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/912-grief-bites-finding-treasure-in-hardships

2. Grief Bites: Doubt Revealed: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/954-grief-bites-doubt-revealed

3. Grief Bites: A New Approach To Growing Through Grief https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/862-grief-bites

4. Grief Bites: Hope For The Holidays: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/1964-grief-bites-hope-for-the-holidays

How Can YOU Pay It Forward Today?

Aug28

Today, I just got back from a very special person’s funeral. 

This amazing, beautiful lady helped my mom, siblings, and me right after my dad was killed.

My sisters and I took ballet, tap, and jazz lessons from this phenomenal lady. My mom and aunt also took dance lessons from her when they were children. 

My teacher was 99 years old, had visited 15 countries so she could bring fresh ideas to her dance studio, and was still teaching dance lessons a few months shy of her 100th birthday!

After my dad died, my dance teacher knew how hard losing my dad was to our family, but she encouraged my mom to keep us in dance lessons…she even told my mom she wanted to bless my sisters and me with a 50% discount off of our dance lessons for life.

I frequently wondered why my dance teacher was always so wonderful to my mom, siblings, and me after my dad died.

Today, at her funeral, I found out why.

At the funeral, they shared how my teacher had an extraordinarily hard life when she was young. They also shared how she, her 5 siblings, and parents lost their home (and everything else they owned) right after the Great Depression. 

A wonderful, kind lady saw how much my dance teacher (and her family) was hurting, so she stepped in and helped my dance teacher to attend college.

I loved hearing that!

For my teacher to have lost everything, she understood how my mom must’ve felt when she lost her “everything,” (and how devastated us kids were to lose our daddy)—so she stepped in and tried to alleviate our family’s pain, the same way someone had so kindly done for her years before. ❤️ 

Today, how can YOU pay it forward?

Who has helped you in life, or been there for you when you were down…or when you felt like you lost your “everything”?

Who do you know who is going through a life struggle? How can you breathe encouragement into them? Who can you help love your family and friends back to life?

One day, we’re all going to die.

How do you want people to remember you?

I will ALWAYS remember my amazing dance teacher as someone who deeply loved my mom, my siblings, and me…and who made a big difference and had a great impact in our lives.

Attending dance lessons helped me through my dad’s death…hurt feelings in elementary school…mean girl issues in middle school…breakups with boyfriends in high school…and when “life” got tough as an adult…as I attended her classes several times each week for years.
My dance instructor remained a treasured family friend – especially a very close friend to my mom – even after I stopped taking dance lessons. She even came to my book signing party after my first book was published.

She and my mom had a very special friendship, exchanging birthday and Christmas presents, as well as “I’m thinking of you” cards and gifts, throughout the year. 

I’m beyond grateful God placed my dance teacher on my heart this past Christmas. I’ll always remember how her face lit up when I dropped off some fresh flowers at her house to tell her thank you for all she had done for my mom and me. The flowers brought her heart so much joy!

Today, what special family member or friend is God placing on your heart to reach out to?

Call them…don’t wait.

Take someone out for coffee…send someone a sweet card…do something extra special for someone…if someone has done something extraordinarily special for you, seek to do something similar for another person…tell a family member or friend “thanks!“

You just never know when the chance to tell someone “thank you” or “I love you” will expire. And, you never know what an incredible impact you’ll make!

How can YOU pay it forward today? ❤️ 

Gratitude & blessings,

Kim

©2015 Grief Bites. All rights reserved.

❤️If you were encouraged by this post, please feel free to share it to encourage others!

⭐️For more encouragement:

❤️Making peace with God: http://peacewithgod.net

❤️Getting Your Breath Back After Life Knocks It Out of You (Kim’s book): Click here for book

❤️Connect on Facebook by “liking” page: http://www.facebook.com/GettingYourBreathBackAfterGrief

❤️Kim’s blog: http://www.griefbites.com

❤️FREE YouVersion reading plans:

1. Grief Bites: Finding Treasure In Hardships: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/912-grief-bites-finding-treasure-in-hardships

2. Grief Bites: Doubt Revealed: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/954-grief-bites-doubt-revealed

3. Grief Bites: A New Approach To Growing Through Grief https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/862-grief-bites

4. Grief Bites: Hope For The Holidays: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/1964-grief-bites-hope-for-the-holidays

5. Experiencing Holidays With Jesus: Christmas: http://bible.com/r/3V5

6. Experiencing Holidays With Jesus: Happy New Year!: http://bible.com/r/3Zv

7. ❤️NEW!❤️Valentine’s Day: Experiencing Holidays With Jesus: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/14059-valentines-day-experiencing-holidays-with-jesus

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⭐️⭐️All content on the Grief Bites blog and website is for encouragement purposes only and is not in any way to be construed as medical, emotional, mental, relational, or psychological advice. We hope to serve as a bridge to encourage others by sharing our personal grief and life experiences. Please contact a qualified healthcare professional, mental health professional, or qualified pastor for guidanc