Tag Archive | Craig Groeschel

50 Great Adventures & Activities To Do While Staying Home Due To COVID-19

With the Coronavirus keeping majority of us indoors, it’s a great opportunity to fully enjoy the extraordinary gifts of God, family, and home.

A note to parents: If you have children still at home, they’ll be watching to see how to handle these uncertain times. We can add to their already present stress (kiddos are great at sensing stress or conflict – even if a word is not said)…or we can choose to make this an extra special time of creating great memories that will stay with them for a lifetime.

If you don’t have kids, it’s a great time to get to know and enjoy your neighbors or spouse more. Life is so busy, it can be hard to connect. These activities are great for couples, too.

If you’re single (or have roommates), this can be a memorable and pivotal time of your life.

While the kiddos in our family were growing up, we did the following activities often. I’ll forever cherish the memories we made and be so very grateful for all of the time I spent with them.

I hope these activities will help you remember what’s most important in life. I hope you’ll choose to enjoy this unique opportunity to create good memories and build your most prized, vital relationships. Let’s decide right now to not merely make the best of it…let’s choose to thoroughly appreciate the simple things in life once again.

Here are 50 activities to keep you and your family sane during this stressful time. May you enjoy & delight in every moment!

1. Spend time – truly spend time – with your family (those who live with you…FaceTime is also fantastic): Take this time to thoroughly enjoy your family…get to know them…find out what’s going on in their lives…truly love and care about them..find out what their fears and worries are… encourage and love them… enjoy them and have fun with them. Family isn’t just an important thing…next to God, it’s the most important thing.


2. Watch FREE Metropolitan opera (amazing opportunity! Get their app to avoid waiting in the que): https://www.vulture.com/2020/03/coronavirus-the-metropolitan-opera-to-stream-free-operas

3. Bake treats: there are lots of great recipes online. My favorite website is http://www.tasteofhome.com. I spent a lot of time baking with the kiddos in my family…some of my absolute favorite memories! When I’d drop my son off at kindergarten, he’d say, “I don’t want to go to school…I want to stay home and bake cookies with you!” Baking creates lifelong memories and is so much fun! Here is my (now adult) son’s beloved cookies he wanted to stay home and bake with me (we still use milk chocolate chips instead of semisweet chips and omit the nuts): https://www.verybestbaking.com/recipes/18476/original-nestle-toll-house-chocolate-chip-cookies/


4. Have a tea party:
tea parties are delightful! It can be as simple as making a great cup of tea and enjoying it while relaxing, or you can do the whole shebang…complete with tea, finger sandwiches, scones, pastries and baked goods, Devonshire (clotted) cream – the works! Here’s a great website to get you started: https://www.bbcgoodfood.com/howto/guide/how-throw-afternoon-tea-party


5. Call extended family and friends, as well as family and friends you haven’t talked to in awhile: Take time to reach out to special loved ones and see how they’re doing. Calling, FaceTiming, and Skyping loved ones is a great way to offer support, love, and encouragement to one another.

6. Cook something comforting: when my family has gone through stressful times, it has always made life better by connecting with my most favorite loved ones over a good, comforting meal. Cook with your family, or if it’s just you, make your absolute favorite dinner. Make it an event. Savor every bite and thank God for all the foods and flavors He has created and blessed you with. This is one of my favorite comfort foods: https://www.tasteofhome.com/recipes/cheesy-hash-potato-casserole/ As someone with Celiacs, I swap out ingredients with gluten-free products. To swap out canned soup, this is an awesome recipe: https://tastesbetterfromscratch.com/condensed-cream-anything-soup/. I use gluten free products for this and it has been life-changing to use when recipes call for canned cream of whatever soup.

7. Have a game night (you can also Skype or FaceTime others to play) : get out the board games, cards, and dominoes and have a fun evening while playing games and talking. Just a suggestion: skip stressful games that could end up in an argument…*ahem* Monopoly.

8. Play charades: have everybody fill out 3-5 pieces of paper and put an action or a song on them. Then everybody guess what is being played out. We do a Christmas song version of this and it is always a fun time.

9. Build a fort in the living room and watch favorite movies: my son and I did this often. We’d also make a teepee out of a camera tripod and sheet. Great times and memories!


10. Finger paint with pudding: get out some wax paper and make some pudding. Divide the vanilla pudding into small bowls and add food coloring. Be sure to protect your clothing, furniture, and floors. Of course, just painting with vanilla is fun too!

11. Watch home videos: It is so special to watch old home videos. You forget so many great memories and it’s fun to relive them. Kiddos especially enjoy watching themselves on TV.

12. Appreciate all you have: when going through uncertain times or tragedy, we can become so grieved or worried about what we could lose…instead of simply being thankful for who and what we currently have in our lives. Majority of the things we worry about never actually happen. Worry also reveals the areas we trust God the least. We can’t control tragedy or future events…but we can choose to stop worrying and leave it all in God’s hands. Appreciate all you have today…especially loved ones!

13. Make homemade marshmallows: make some hot cocoa and top it with marshmallows…or make S’mores with them. Yum! https://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/alton-brown/homemade-marshmallows-recipe

14. Read the books you’ve bought but haven’t had time to read: every year. I go to a local book fair and purchase lots of books. This year, I got $1,600 worth of books for only $60! Sixty buckaroos! I even found three vintage Elvis books for my son’s girlfriend. With lots of time at home, it’s definitely a great time to read. If you have kiddos at home, it’s a great time to read to them or introduce them to the joy of reading.

15. Watch online church services, motivational talks, or read inspirational content online: the internet has an amazing amount of positive encouragement. My personal favorites are Rick Warren (https://pastorrick.com), Craig Groeschel (https://life.church), various TED talks, Lysa TerKeurst (https://lysaterkeurst.com), Christine Caine (https://christinecaine.com), and Charles Stanley (https://www.intouch.org). There are also other great websites that are so encouraging to marriages and families. Two of my favorites: FamilyLife (https://www.familylife.com) and Focus On The Family (https://www.focusonthefamily.com).

16. Have a scrapbook night: gathering photos, cards, and mementos to put in a special scrapbook is very special. Throughout the years, you can look at the scrapbook you made and reflect on beautiful memories.

17. Take time to thank others: Think of all the family and friends who love you, have invested in you, and have been there for you. Also any pastors, Sunday school leaders, teachers, or bosses who have taught you or poured into your life. Call these special people today and personally thank them for investing in you.


18. Have an indoor picnic: spread out a blanket and have your favorite picnic foods. It could be sandwiches and chips, a charcuterie tray, or even a variety of snack foods or desserts. You can even make some homemade lemonade: https://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/patrick-and-gina-neely/ginas-homemade-lemonade-recipe

19. If you’re married, look at your wedding photos and watch your wedding video — if you’re widowed or divorced, it’s also a great time to reflect on the good memories of the past and be grateful: being home more is a grand opportunity to reflect on your marriage and choose to strengthen your relationship. The stress of this epidemic can create a lot of worry and stress…talk to your spouse and decide today to be on the same team. Love, encourage, and support each other…help and comfort each other through this hard time. Look at your photos and remember how in love you were while dating your spouse and on your wedding day. Focus on your spouse’s good qualities and help each other get through these times of high stress.

20. Make homemade play dough: This is my favorite recipe because it also has a gluten-free version too (and has instructions for getting play dough out of carpet and clothing). Make some play dough and have the best creative time!
https://livingwellmom.com/easy-homemade-playdough-recipe/

21. Find old mix CDs, records, cassettes, and 8-Tracks and listen to them: music is such an amazing gift – especially during times of stress. It can truly soothe your soul. It is also fun to listen to old music that can bring back fun and warm memories.

22. Have a theater night, talent show, or skit night: When the kiddos in our family were growing up, they enjoyed putting on talent shows, skits, and puppet shows. They’d play the piano, sing, do stand up comedy, dress up and act, and dance. Encourage creativity and be entertained. Be sure to offer praise.

23. Watch all those Christmas movies you DVR’d but never had the chance to watch:
So I personally have a few…okay, dozens…okay, okay, more like 100…of Hallmark Christmas movies I recorded and never had the chance to watch. I imagine I’m not the only one who has a plethora of movies that need watched to clear up space on the ‘ol DVR. Pop some popcorn and eat any remaining Christmas candy as you enjoy your shows!

24. Make shaped pancakes for dinner:
Pancakes are cheap and easy to make. Most people have the ingredients already. You can make alphabet pancakes or try your hand at pancake art. Here is my favorite recipe: https://www.marthastewart.com/basic-pancakes For pancake art ideas, this is awesome for Spring themed pancakes: https://www.hallmarkchannel.com/home-and-family/recipes/spring-pancake-art. Pinterest also has many ideas for pancake art. It’s a fun time of creativity.

25. Do a themed Bible study: One of my absolute favorite ways of reading the Bible is to ask God what theme or topic He’d like me to study deeper. I’ve done full Bible study themes on grief, encouragement, finding God’s heart during loss, requirements for God’s favor, fully seeking God, finances, marriage, parenting, illness, family, love, how to handle betrayal, getting through tragedy, forgiveness, bitterness, Heaven…lots of topics. When you read the Bible with a theme in mind, it further makes the Bible come “alive”…it’s a very special way of drawing closer to God as you talk with Him about all you are learning.


26. Learn a new skill online: Have you always wanted to learn to play an instrument? Further your studies and knowledge on a specific topic? Learn how to be a better cook or how to sing? Always wanted to learn how to write, paint, or draw? You can learn virtually every hobby known to mankind through online lessons or tutorials. Think of something you’ve always wanted to learn or do and have the best time!

27. Call your grandparents and ask them to tell you any life advice they think you’ll need: Ask them about their childhood, family, careers, favorite Bible verse, favorite holiday memory, their testimony, relationship advice, and anything else of great value. you have WEALTH when you invest in and talk to a loved one who is older…and that treasure leaves the moment they do…so protect and spend your time with them wisely.

28. Have a night of total relaxation:
Spend an evening with total relaxation in mind. Do whatever helps you to relax and get away from everything stressful. Take a hot shower or bubble bath. Light some candles, light the fireplace, and listen to some soft music – don’t fall asleep before blowing out the candles or turning off the fireplace though. 🙂 Relax with loved ones. Snuggle up with God, your spouse, and your kiddos. Whatever relaxes your soul, make time to destress.

29. Dress up and have a candlelight dinner:
Just because you’re having to stay in, it doesn’t mean you have to be bored. Look for ways to make the common extraordinary. Dress up for dinner. Light candles for dinner. Change things up and make dinner time memorable.

30. Have a movie night:
With so many options to watch movies – regular TV, cable, DVR, Netflix, Disney+, Hulu, DVDs, old VHS’s, home videos, etc, it’s a great time to relax and watch non-stressful movies. Watch things that will bring positivity and joy to your soul: comedies, movies that show how people overcome obstacles, Disney movies, etc. It’s far better to watch something positive instead of continually watching the news.

31. Have a craft day:
I’m not a real crafty person…seriously, I flunked sewing in Home Ec in high school…but I know there are a lot of people – like my amazing sister-in-law – who are awesome at crafts. Look up craft projects online and have fun being creative!

32. Camp out in the living room:
When my son was little, we’d periodically camp out in the living room. We’d make pallets on the floor with comforters and sleeping bags, and do camping activities: make hot dogs and S’mores, sing campy type songs, tell stories, and just had the best time together. One time, we even put up an actual tent. Memories like this last a lifetime.

33. Learn how to meditate on scripture:
Did you know that God promises success – to prosper all we do – to those who take the time to meditate on scripture and apply it? This is an excellent post of how to meditate on scripture: https://iblp.org/questions/how-can-i-meditate-scripture Commit to doing this every night for 6 months and see where God will take you through this exciting adventure. Your life will never be the same! A few other good posts to check out: https://billygraham.org/devotion/meditate-on-scripture/ and https://www.christianity.com/wiki/bible/what-does-meditation-mean-in-the-bible-how-can-i-practice-biblical-meditation.html and https://iblp.org/sites/default/files/pdf/daily_success_brochure.pdf

34. Spend an evening singing:
Seriously, I know this sounds silly, but it can do a world of good. Sing your favorite tunes..praise music and hymns, Broadway musicals, and your favorite songs from the past and present. You’ll feel happier in no time!

35. Have a spa night:
Take a hot bath, give yourself and your family an at home facial, manicure, and pedicure, or do a homemade hair treatment. Anything that brings rejuvenation.

36. Remember and appreciate the little things and little comforts in life: the little things and comforts in life, you will find, end up being the most important things in life. God, family, and friends. A good cup of coffee or hot tea. Hugs from your spouse and family that live with you. Snuggle time and reading books with your children/grandchildren. Cuddles with pets. Sunrises and sunsets. The relaxing sound of rain. The sound of the ocean. A warm blanket on a chilly evening. Fresh air outside. Nature. All things that offer comfort. Appreciate and enjoy the people and little treasures life has to offer. All are an exquisite blessing from God.

37. Organize your home: What better time to do a deep cleaning and organizing of your home? Studies show that clutter can exacerbate stress and depression. Clear the clutter, and by doing so, improve your physical, mental and emotional perspective, wellness, and health.


38. Truly think about life and reorganize anything that needs changed or improved. Some of the best thoughts, goals, dreams, inventions, philosophy, testimonies, and perspectives came from a time of great struggle, suffering, and obstacles. These harsh times are an excellent opportunity to honestly evaluate and reevaluate life, relationships, goals, education, and other important life choices.

39. Pray fervently: Prayer can change everything. Absolutely everything. Having the extraordinary privilege of spending time with God each day is beyond incredible. There are many – so many – great Bible verses to pray during times of tragedy. Some of my favorites that I have personally prayed are in the last part of this blog post: https://griefbites.com/2020/03/17/an-important-prayer-for-hard-times-covid-19/. During times of hardships, grief, tragedy, and uncertainty, our time is best spent in prayer instead of worry and stressing over circumstances we do not have the power to change. If you have praying family members and friends, ask to pray with them too. Prayer can even be done over the phone. Remember: prayer can move mountains and obstacles.

40. Stay positive during this (and every) trial: Staying positive isn’t easy when life falls apart. It’s definitely not easy. Sure, you must feel what you need to feel…but it is so important to infuse positivity into your life and your loved ones’ lives. Positivity is a muscle: the more you exercise it, the stronger it will be. Look for, and seek, any opportunity you can to build positivity into your life.

41. Play video games or computer games: When I was a kiddo, Pong was the big thing…then came Atari…then Coleco Vision. Video games have come a long way. Many are even educational. Spend an evening unwinding with your family as you connect with those you love best!

42. Have a no electronics night: There are lots of fun things you can do that require zero electricity. Get creative and find new, non traditional ways to have fun.

43. Have a chore night – followed with a special treat once everyone is finished: Nobody likes chores. Well, I know a few weirdos who do, but it’s definitely not the norm. A clean home with chores done is rewarding. You’ll think better and sleep better – and after the chores are done, have a fun treat as a reward for your hard work.

44. Have a “no TV news / no worrying allowed” night – only talk about & do delightful things: self explanatory. 🙂

45. Make things right with people you know you have wronged: we all have hurt or offended another person in life. While I was doing a themed study in the Bible, a specific (and frightening) verse popped from the page that truly made me think: Proverbs 17:13, “If anyone returns evil for good, evil will never leave his house.” or another translation: “You will always have trouble if you are mean to those who are good to you.” Take the extra time you now have to say sorry and make amends with anyone you know you have wronged. Ask the person’s forgiveness and then seek God’s forgiveness. Make right any wrongs you have done in life. You’ll be giving a huge gift to those you have wronged – and as a bonus, you’ll be grateful to have a much lighter conscience and spirit.

46. Do a fun science project: There are lots of fun and easy kid-friendly science experiments on the web. Here is a great one: https://www.today.com/parents/how-entertain-kids-home-crafts-science-projects-t176161

47. Take a virtual vacation or watch a home vacation video: Travel is so enjoyable and relaxing…but this pandemic has shut many travel opportunities down. During this time, take advantage of a virtual vacation. You may not be able to surf in Hawaii or California, but you can experience the next best thing by surfing the web for vacation fun. https://www.travelandleisure.com/travel-tips/cool-gadgets/virtual-reality-vacations. Experience some Disney World rides here: https://allears.net/2020/03/19/take-a-ride-on-your-favorite-disney-world-attractions-from-the-comfort-of-your-home/. You can also do a virtual tour of several super cool museums here: https://hellogiggles.com/news/museums-with-virtual-tours/

48. Get some exercise indoors: With gyms closed, you don’t have to throw away your health, fitness goals, or wellness plans. There are many online options for exercise…hello, Tony Horton and Shaun T…and there are many ways to exercise indoors. Even walking around the house will do your body, mind, and spirit good.

49. Toilet paper someone’s yard: just kidding…there is absolutely no toilet paper to be found, much less wasted.
But…if you do happen to have an abundance of toilet paper or food, ask family if they need any. Getting through hard times together and encouraging and loving each other is what family is all about.

50. The most important of all? Spend time delighting in God: delighting in God is absolutely life changing! https://griefbites.com/2016/12/30/making-2017-your-best-year-yet-43-ways-to-delight-in-god/ Teach – and give the gift to – yourself and your children of how to have a dynamic relationship with God. Teach them (and yourself) to daily read and enjoy the Bible. Delight and trust in “being still” with God…loving Him…adoring Him…obeying Him…allowing Him full access to your heart and your life. Developing a love relationship & friendship with God is the greatest adventure, treasure, peace, and joy you’ll ever experience on earth. http://www.peacewithGod.net

We’ll all get through these hard days. When awful thoughts of worry or anxiety pop into your head, whisper to your heart, “It won’t always be like this.”

We each have overcome major obstacles in life, we will press on and do the same – today and always.

Hang in there! Your best days may not have even happened yet. The best is yet to come.

Enjoy God, family, and loved ones and allow this pandemic to teach your heart what matters most. Maybe everything we’ve been living for isn’t as important as we thought it was. Perhaps it’s far past time to appreciate, love, and enjoy the people we love best and the simple things in life!❤️

Gratitude, healing, & many blessings to you,

Kim

©2020 Kim Niles/Grief Bites. All rights reserved.

❤️If you were encouraged by this post, please feel free to share it to encourage others!

⭐️For more encouragement:

❤️Making peace with God: http://peacewithgod.net

❤️Getting Your Breath Back After Life Knocks It Out of You (Kim’s book): https://www.christianbook.com/getting-knocks-transparent-journey-seeking-through/k-b-h-niles/

❤️Connect on Facebook by “liking” page: https://www.facebook.com/GettingYourBreathBackAfterGrief

❤️Kim’s blog: https://www.griefbites.com

❤️FREE YouVersion reading plans:

1. Grief Bites: Finding Treasure In Hardships: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/912-grief-bites-finding-treasure-in-hardships

2. Grief Bites: Doubt Revealed: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/954-grief-bites-doubt-revealed

3. Grief Bites: A New Approach To Growing Through Grief https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/862-grief-bites

4. Grief Bites: Hope For The Holidays: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/1964-grief-bites-hope-for-the-holidays

5. Experiencing Holidays With Jesus: Christmas: http://bible.com/r/3V5

6. Experiencing Holidays With Jesus: Happy New Year!: http://bible.com/r/3Zv

7. Valentine’s Day: Experiencing Holidays With Jesus: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/14059-valentines-day-experiencing-holidays-with-jesus

⭐️All content on the Grief Bites blog and website is copyright protected material. Please ask for permission to copy, use, or print. 

⭐️⭐️All content on the Grief Bites blog and website is for encouragement purposes only and is not in any way to be construed as medical, emotional, mental, relational, or psychological advice. We hope to serve as a bridge to encourage others by sharing our personal grief and life experiences. Please contact a qualified healthcare professional, mental health professional, or qualified pastor for guidance and advice.

⭐️⭐️⭐️All websites in this post are not necessarily endorsed and are completely at each users own discretion and risk.

An Important Prayer For Hard Times & COVID-19

With the coronavirus affecting and impacting so many people and countries, we can be tempted to fall into uncertainty, fear, worry, or anxiety about the future.

Prayer is effective…it can literally change everything – especially ourselves when we pray and petition God. The following is a prayer that I hope everyone will pray out loud. If you have a family member or friend you can pray with, that’s even better (Matthew 18:19-20).

God is not surprised by any virus, illness, pandemic, or financial crisis. I pray He will use this tragic time to draw everybody close to His heart – a true revival.

Praying for all impacted by COVID-19.💗

Please feel free to share this with your family and friends…the more prayers, the better!

An Important Prayer For Hard Times (pray out loud if possible):

“Dear Most Gracious Heavenly Father,
We come before You and thank You for being in full control – and also for every evidence of good in our lives that You have blessed us with. You are better to us than we deserve.
We ask and thank You for your protection and provision. We ask for Your continual forgiveness, protection, safety, mercy, grace, and favor.
Lord, we ask You in the mighty name of Jesus Christ to powerfully shut down, cease, and halt COVID-19 – and all other viruses, illnesses, disease, and pandemics. We ask for supernatural healing, help, and protection for everyone…and each community, city, state, and country…that is being affected by this tragedy.
During uncertain times, it can be easy to freak out…to think the worst case scenarios…to give way to major anxiety, worry, and fear…and even doubt.
I ask that You completely strengthen each of us and our families and give us the grace to seek Your heart..to walk by faith and not by sight…to pick trust in You over fear…to choose Your peace that passes understanding over worry and anxiety.
Help us to be voices of comfort, love, compassion, encouragement, helpfulness, kindness, and hope to our loved ones – and please allow this tragedy to draw people close to Your heart. Lord, so many are worried about finances. Pandemics are so hard on the economy. During times of tragedy, finances can be quickly drained. Please provide for our every need…You know each and every need and financial challenge. I also pray for businesses and their employees. Please protect them and provide their every need. Give fresh creative ideas of how to sustain – and even prosper – during this extremely tough and trying time. We pray for speedy healing and recovery in every way.
Lord, we ask and pray for a miracle! No weapon formed or forged against us shall prosper, in Jesus’ Name! I pray You protect us…help us…encourage us…prosper us…and bless us with a deeper understanding, loyalty, honor, and love for You. Please keep safe and bless our leaders, families, friends, neighbors, citizens, and all emergency personnel and medical staff. We lift up our president, leaders, governments, and those who are working around the clock to create vaccines and cures…please grant them Your incredible wisdom, discernment, and understanding. Provide all of us with the wisdom to know how to navigate these hard times. Give all of us fresh ideas and creativity for resourcefulness, healing, and restoration. While we are going through tragedy, especially since many are staying home, bless our time with our family and loved ones…help us to use our time wisely and build these important God-given relationships. May we all find true joy in our relationship with You and our families as we get through this trial together…and may we appreciate the simple joys in life. If anyone is alone, I pray You grant them Your perfect Friendship, love, security, and comfort. Especially bless and enrich all of our time with You. Give us new inspiration for growing closer to Your heart. What the enemy meant for evil, we pray You turn it around for good! I specifically pray for people to turn back to You…and I pray for grace and more time. There are so many who do not know You…and some who have fallen away due to grief, heartache, anger/bitterness over an unfair life event, and tough life experiences. Please have mercy on them and give them the extra measure of grace they need to turn to You and turn back to You. Grant us Your blessed assurance, hope, a deep trust in You. and peace during times of uncertainty. If anyone doesn’t know You, I pray You’ll reveal Yourself to them and draw them to Your heart. Give us all the grace to see You work mightily through this pandemic…that we would clearly see You, hear You, and open our heart and lives fully to You…and gratefully give You the credit.
Please do more than we can ask, think, or imagine. Pour Your love, comfort, help, reassurance, supernatural resources and provision, encouragement, HOPE, and peace into each of us, our loved ones, our neighbors, and the world.
Help us to fully love and obey You – and turn our hearts completely toward You.
We love You, thank You, adore You, and ask all of these petitions in Jesus’ Precious Name, Amen.”

❤️~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~❤️

🌴Need peace and assurance?
http://www.peacewithGod.net

🌺Feel free to share with loved ones for hope & encouragement.

⭐️IMPORTANT BIBLE VERSES:
(to claim for you, your family & friends, your city, state, country, and the world):

Matthew‬ ‭18:19-20‬, “Again I say to you, that if two of you agree on earth about anything that they may ask, it shall be done for them by My Father who is in heaven. For where two or three have gathered together in My name, I am there in their midst.”

Exodus‬ ‭22:27‬, “When they cry out to me, I will hear, for I am compassionate.”

Psalm 91:10, “Because you have made the Lord your dwelling place — the Most High, who is my refuge — no evil shall be allowed to befall you, no plague come near your tent.

2 Timothy 1:7, “For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.”

2 Chronicles 7:14, “ If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land.

Psalm 5:11, “But let all who take refuge in you rejoice; let them ever sing for joy, and spread your protection over them, that those who love your name may exult in you.”

Luke 10:19, “Behold, I have given you authority to tread on serpents and scorpions, and over all the power of the enemy, and nothing shall hurt you.”

Psalm 57:1, “Be merciful to me, O God, be merciful to me, for in you my soul takes refuge; in the shadow of your wings I will take refuge, till the storms of destruction pass by.”

Joshua 1:9, “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.

1 Peter 5:6-7, “Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God, so that in due time He may exalt you. Cast all your anxiety on Him, because He cares for you”

Jeremiah‬ ‭29:11-14‬, “For I know the plans that I have for you,’ declares the LORD, ‘plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon Me and come and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. You will seek Me and find Me when you search for Me with all your heart. I will be found by you,’ declares the LORD, ‘and I will restore your fortunes and will gather you from all the nations and from all the places where I have driven you,’ declares the LORD, ‘and I will bring you back to the place from where I sent you into exile.’”

Isaiah 41:10,Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”

Psalms‬ ‭121:1-8‬, “I will lift up my eyes to the mountains; From where shall my help come? My help comes from the LORD, Who made heaven and earth. He will not allow your foot to slip; He who keeps you will not slumber. Behold, He who keeps Israel Will neither slumber nor sleep. The LORD is your keeper; The LORD is your shade on your right hand. The sun will not smite you by day, Nor the moon by night. The LORD will protect you from all evil; He will keep your soul. The LORD will guard your going out and your coming in From this time forth and forever.

Romans 8:28,And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.”

Psalm 4:8,In peace I will both lie down and sleep; for you alone, O Lord, make me dwell in safety.”

Isaiah 54:17, “No weapon that is fashioned against you shall succeed, and you shall confute every tongue that rises against you in judgment. This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord and their vindication from me, declares the Lord.”

Psalm 91:14,Because he holds fast to me in love, I will deliver him; I will protect him, because he knows my name.”

Psalm 18:30,This God – his way is perfect; the word of the Lord proves true; he is a shield for all those who take refuge in him.”

Proverbs 18:10, “The name of the Lord is a strong tower; the righteous man runs into it and is safe.”

Nahum 1:7, “The Lord is good, a stronghold in the day of trouble; he knows those who take refuge in him.”

Psalm 121:7-8, “The Lord will keep you from all evil; he will keep your life. The Lord will keep your going out and your coming in from this time forth and forevermore.”

Psalm 34:7, “The angel of the Lord encamps around those who fear him, and delivers them.”

Psalm 118:8, “It is better to take refuge in the Lord than to trust in man.”

Psalms‬ ‭94:18-19‬, “When I said, “My foot is slipping,” your unfailing love, Lord, supported me. When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought me joy.”

Psalm 91:1, “He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will abide in the shadow of the Almighty.”

Revelation 3:10, “Because you have kept my word about patient endurance, I will keep you from the hour of trial that is coming on the whole world, to try those who dwell on the earth.”

Psalm 16:1, “Preserve me, O God, for in you I take refuge.”

John 10:28-30, “I give them eternal life, and they will never perish, and no one will snatch them out of my hand. My Father, who has given them to me, is greater than all, and no one is able to snatch them out of the Father’s hand. I and the Father are one.”

Genesis‬ ‭50:20-21, “As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good in order to bring about this present result, to preserve many people alive. So therefore, do not be afraid; I will provide for you and your little ones.” So he comforted them and spoke kindly to them.”‬

Psalm 23:4, “Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.”

John 3:16-17, “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him.”

If your community is being encouraged to stay home, consider watching church online. Pastor Rick Warren of Saddleback Church, Pastor Craig Groeschel of Life.Church, Charles Stanley of InTouch Ministries, local pastors in your area, and many other churches are offering services online. It’s a great way to be – and stay – encouraged!

Praying everyone stays well!

©2020 Kim Niles/Grief Bites. All rights reserved.

❤️

⭐️For more encouragement:

❤️Making peace with God: http://peacewithgod.net

❤️Getting Your Breath Back After Life Knocks It Out of You (Kim’s $3.19 book): https://www.christianbook.com/getting-knocks-transparent-journey-seeking-through/k-b-h-niles

❤️Connect on Facebook by “liking” page: http://www.facebook.com/GettingYourBreathBackAfterGrief

❤️Kim’s blog: www.griefbites.com

❤️FREE YouVersion reading plans:

1. Grief Bites: Finding Treasure In Hardships: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/912-grief-bites-finding-treasure-in-hardships

2. Grief Bites: Doubt Revealed: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/954-grief-bites-doubt-revealed

3. Grief Bites: A New Approach To Growing Through Grief https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/862-grief-bites

4. Grief Bites: Hope For The Holidays: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/1964-grief-bites-hope-for-the-holidays

5. Experiencing Holidays With Jesus: Christmas: http://bible.com/r/3V5

6. Experiencing Holidays With Jesus: Happy New Year!: http://bible.com/r/3Zv

7. Valentine’s Day: Experiencing Holidays With Jesus: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/14059-valentines-day-experiencing-holidays-with-jesus

⭐️All content on the Grief Bites blog and website is copyright protected material. Please ask for permission to copy, use, or print. 

⭐️⭐️All content on the Grief Bites blog and website is for encouragement purposes only and is not in any way to be construed as medical, emotional, mental, relational, or psychological advice. We hope to serve as a bridge to encourage others by sharing our personal grief and life experiences. Please contact a qualified healthcare professional, mental health professional, or qualified pastor for guidance and advice.

Christians: Are We Taking The Easy Way Out?

This weekend, I watched a movie that was very good – gut-wrenching, actually.

Movie clips of this particular movie were shown here as well https://www.life.church/watch/ during Pastor Craig Groeschel’s annual teaching of At The Movies (every year at Life.Church, they teach on a different movie each week during the month of July).

If you haven’t seen Hacksaw Ridge, you truly need to.

As I was watching one particular scene, my heart broke in excruciating pain…tears just rolled down my face.

As Life.Church showed this clip, it was used to show the importance of saving the unsaved…which is very important. My mind went beyond that to each person who has ever went through grief – especially those who felt abandoned, betrayed, or wounded by the Church. My heart immediately thought about those who nobody went to check on or those who nobody “went back” to help save them. I hear more stories than I can count of how nobody took the time to love hurting people back to life.

As a grief specialist and grief group leader, I hear the most heart wrenching stories people have experienced. For almost 10 years now, helping people for 20-50 hours each week, these stories have caused my heart to truly go out to those who hurt…stories about death of loved ones, grief over wrong personal decisions or a loved one’s hurtful decisions, adultery, abuse, military grief, PTSD, abandonment, extreme hurt and conflict in families and churches, church abuse, suffering, heavy guilt and regrets, illnesses, addictions…I literally hear every story that has wounded a human heart.

Before a person comes to me for help, many times, they’ve already sought out help from church leaders, family members, and friends. The hardest – and most taboo – situations of grief (suicide/suicide attempts, the after effects of rape or murder, all situations of abuse, death of a child or young person, church/spiritual abuse, etc.) are the most challenging to help.

Something that has happened time and time again, and has been said numerous times, is this:

“I went to my pastor (or fellow church staff or church member) for help, and they never got back to me…I felt I wasn’t important.”

Or worse….

“My pastor, church staff, and/or fellow Christians knew about my situation…and they ignored me. They never even called to see how I was after I reached out for help.”

Watching Hacksaw Ridge, when the main character is courageously sacrificing himself and bravely doing everything in his power to save as many as he can…and pleads, “Lord, help me get (save) one more”…my heart sank.

Just like a physical war, when someone goes through heartache, grief, or pain and they are wounded, if someone does not go and help them…the alternative is to leave them for the enemy to devour. This is beyond true spiritually, too. When a Christian is wounded, and the Church doesn’t take the time to care, the enemy is more than happy to delightfully devour them, too.

Watching that scene of Hacksaw Ridge, all I could think of were the several people I know who have quit going to church, and the ones who have turned to atheism – or even other religions – because they went through a harsh life challenge and felt like nobody cared.

We as Christians have got to demand higher of ourselves. 

Yes, everybody is busy.

Yes, it may not be someone’s specific responsibility because, after all, they did not cause the pain.

Yes, it is totally time-consuming.

Yes, it truly is messy.

And there will always be people in the church or on staff who will make excuses by saying things like, “hurting people hurt people”…”we won’t help others who aren’t taking responsibility by taking the first steps to help themselves”….”nobody is perfect.”

But, the example of Jesus Christ is to deny yourself and pick up your cross…and part of picking up your cross is to actively love people back to life – especially those who are unsaved or those who have been hurt or who have left the church.

And it’s not just church members who have been hurt by the church. There are many who are (or who were) on church staff (or their spouses/families) who have been deeply wounded by either fellow church staff members or members of their congregations, too.

Jude‬ ‭1:22-23‬, “And you must show mercy to those whose faith is wavering. Rescue others by snatching them from the flames of judgment. Show mercy to still others, but do so with great caution, hating the sins that contaminate their lives.”

  1. Hurting people do not hurt people. Hurting people help heal people because they understand what being hurt feels like. Jerks hurt people and then refuse to make it right.
  2. The attitude of “I’ll help people once they help themselves…” is very flawed. I am so very thankful that God doesn’t treat people that way. He loves…He gives grace…He initiates healing…He lifts us up and carries our burdens for us.
  3. The argument of “Nobody is perfect…” fails what God commands in Matthew 5:48, “Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.” Of course, nobody is perfect, but God certainly gives us some very sobering and serious responsibilities as believers on how to treat others – especially reconciling with those we hurt or those who may have something against us. He even instructs us in Matthew 5:23-24 to leave our gifts at the altar until we actively go make things right with those we have hurt or offended…and says to not come back until this is done first.

God doesn’t give us these responsibilities of how to treat others – or how not to treat others – to be difficult; He gives us these precious responsibilities so we will be careful with each other’s heart and spirit. He understands the potential terrible cost if we are not careful with His instructions.

I heard the most profound statement this week from a young person who had been deeply wounded and wronged by their church:

“People always knock certain shady TV evangelists, but all they do is steal money. What about the pastors at churches who hurt people in their congregations? They steal peoples emotions and spirit. Money is readily replaceable…trust is not.”

To hear someone young be so wounded and jaded by the Church really concerned my heart. Hearing their story…and then hearing how the leaders at their church knew about the hurt they inflicted — yet didn’t show good character by going to them and working things out…there just are no words.

Satan loves taking people out. The enemy knows if he can get Christians or church leadership to wound someone, the likelihood of additional generations being spiritually destroyed will ensue:

Proverbs‬ ‭27:23-24,Know the state of your flocks, and put your heart into caring for your herds, for riches don’t last forever, and the crown might not be passed to the next generation.”‬ ‭

When someone is deeply wounded, it doesn’t just affect the individual who was hurt. It affects everyone they’ll ever come in contact with…and future generations.

•You may be reading this, and you may be one who has been deeply wounded. On behalf of every Christian, I apologize profusely to you for your pain. You should never have been left alone in your time of hurt, somebody should have cared enough to reach out to you and loved you back to life. Please, please, please know that God wanted for you to be treated with love, kindness and respect…it’s not His fault – or His Will – when people disobey scripture by mistreating others or not helping them. I humbly ask you to please forgive the Church. God loves you and has not forgotten you!

Isaiah‬ ‭40:27-31‬,Why would you ever complain, O Jacob or Israel, saying, “GOD has lost track of me. He doesn’t care what happens to me”? Don’t you know anything? Haven’t you been listening? GOD doesn’t come and go. God lasts. He’s Creator of all you can see or imagine. He doesn’t get tired out, doesn’t pause to catch his breath. And he knows everything, inside and out. He energizes those who get tired, gives fresh strength to dropouts. For even young people tire and drop out, young folk in their prime stumble and fall. Butthose who wait upon GOD get fresh strength. They spread their wings and soar like eagles, They run and don’t get tired, they walk and don’t lag behind.”

Isaiah‬ ‭49:15-16‬, “Can a woman forget her nursing child? Will she have no compassion on the child from her womb? Although mothers may forget, I will not forget you. I have engraved you on the palms of My hands. Your walls are always in My presence.”

•You may be reading this right now and you know for a fact you’ve wounded a fellow believer, but you never made it right. I strongly plead with you to go to that person (or persons) and courageously apologize for your wrongdoing…Most importantly, for them. Secondarily, for the judgment that can fall onto you:

Matthew‬ ‭5:23-24, “Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift.”‬ 

Colossians 3:25, “For the wrongdoer will be paid back for the wrong he has done, and there is no partiality.”

Proverbs‬ ‭17:13, “Evil will never leave the house of one who pays back evil for good.” ‭

•You may be reading this right now and you personally know of someone who was wounded by another believer. If you know of someone who is wounded, please consider being the one to make a difference.

Matthew‬ ‭25:40, 45‬, ““The king will answer them, ‘I can guarantee this truth: Whatever you did for one of my brothers or sisters, no matter how unimportant they seemed, you did for me.’…and…“He will answer them, ‘I can guarantee this truth: Whatever you failed to do for one of my brothers or sisters, no matter how unimportant they seemed, you failed to do for me.’” 

I don’t think most people drop the ball purposely, but it does happen unfortunately. An apology, or genuinely caring for others from the heart, goes a long way.

My heart is for the hurting, the grief stricken, and those who have been spiritually wounded. I know of many Christians who this is so very important to their heart, too.

Majority of the Christians I know are really amazing people who genuinely care about others. They actively love people and truly enjoy serving others. When others hurt, they genuinely hurt for them, too!

We all (totally including myself) need to do better and become more mindful of others.

When we’re tempted not to make things right with those who we have hurt or offended…or we are tempted to leave it up to someone else to do our part…or we believe the lie that we are too busy or things are too awkward or messy to get involved…I really pray that we each will consider how we can make these situations better for everyone we know.

I know I can do better.

The rest of this year, let us prayerfully consider reaching out to those who used to attend our churches or those who were once in our LifeGroups, Sunday School class, or Small Groups – those who we never see anymore. I pray we consider the people we know who quit going to church because they were hurt, deeply offended, or wounded.

Consider calling one person a week to check on them to see how they’re doing and ask if there’s anything you can do to help them. May we each choose to love people back to life.

As a Christian, we never want to be known as someone who took the easy way out… Especially since Christ never did.

Be the example of Jesus to others that you would hope someone will be to you and your family.

Jesus’ example is very, very clear:

Luke‬ ‭15:4-7‬, ““Suppose one of you has a hundred sheep and loses one of them. Doesn’t he leave the ninety-nine in the open country and go after the lost sheep until he finds it? And when he finds it, he joyfully puts it on his shoulders and goes home. Then he calls his friends and neighbors together and says, ‘Rejoice with me; I have found my lost sheep.’ I tell you that in the same way there will be more rejoicing in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who do not need to repent.”

I love how God used sheep in this passage of scripture. I don’t believe it’s coincidental that the above scripture and the following verses deal with sheep and lions. Think about this:

1 Samuel‬ ‭17:34-36‬, “David replied to Saul, “I am a shepherd for my father’s sheep. Whenever a lion or a bear came and carried off a sheep from the flock, I went after it, struck it, and rescued the sheep from its mouth. If it attacked me, I took hold of its mane, struck it, and killed it. I have killed lions and bears, and this uncircumcised Philistine will be like one of them because he has challenged the army of the living God.””

1 Peter 5:8, “Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.”

The above verses speak of sheep and lions. Just as David vigilantly looked out for his earthly father’s sheep, how much more should we as Christians look out for, and help and defend, our Heavenly Father’s sheep? The enemy’s goal is to challenge and hurt God. If we don’t actively care for those in the Church…yes, even those who have left it…then we are part of the problem.

When people waver in their faith or leave the church, or when we know of people who are hurting or who have been deeply wounded, or when there are leaders (or church members) in the church who have hurt people and not made it right – yet no one corrects them or holds them accountable – we really need to start addressing that in our churches. When no one seems to care during these situations, we must ask God to soften our hearts and also for wisdom to know how to effectively reach out to those who have been wounded.

We have got to stop taking the easy way out…..we have got to expect more of ourselves and do better.

If a family member of ours stopped attending family functions and quit communications, would we simply shrug our shoulders and have an apathetic attitude of, “oh well?” Would we merely accept it and just move on? Would we think that it wasn’t our problem or responsibility? Absolutely not! We would call them and we would fight for that precious family member and our relationship with them.

God considers Church family relationships to be of utmost importance…they’re a reflection of His relationship to us, His Bride. That is something we all need to deeply consider.

The only response a Christian should have to those who are struggling is this: Snatch them from the flames…help and encourage them…be the best version of “Jesus” to them…meet needs wherever possible…and love them back to life!

We have got to do a better job of focusing on helping people in their spiritual walk, being deeply concerned with their eternal destination, as well as care about peoples hearts, their hurts, and what truly matters.

Galatians 6:1-2, ““Brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently. But watch yourselves, or you also may be tempted. Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.”

John‬ ‭13:34-35‬, “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”

Never discount a person’s hurt…or their potential. There are some people in life who have been deeply wounded, but they will blossom greatly when the right people genuinely take the time to care about them. There may be weeds, but please understand that underneath the hurt and weeds is good soil. All they need is for someone to take the time to rinse the mud off of their heart, and water them with compassion, so the Sonshine can work miracles.

Luke 10:2….“The harvest is great, but the workers are few. So pray to the Lord who is in charge of the harvest; ask him to send more workers into his fields.”

Tell God you’re willing to be a worker for Him in building people back to life. Ask God to grant you the gift of seeing people how He sees people, and to love people how He loves people. Ask God to impress on your heart, and every believer’s heart, to deeply care about saving both the lost and the hurting.

I’ll always be grateful to the people in my life who had a deep burden for the harvest. They saw an ugly, dying weed, but decided to care about me and love me back to life.💕

Please take a moment and soberly watch this video and listen to this song. Then pray and ask God to show you who you can love back to life. We each need to make a strong commitment as Christians to stop taking the easy way out.❤️

Movie clip from Hacksaw Ridge: https://youtu.be/Oy6kwogmhRY

Song by Keith Green: https://youtu.be/8yJd0JMzq7k

Who can you love back to life today?

If you have been hurt or wounded by the church, I highly recommend Saddleback Church in California. If you don’t live in California, they offer online services, too. Life.Church also offers online experiences.

http://www.saddleback.com

http://www.life.church

You are so very valuable and loved!

Gratitude & many blessings,

Kim

©2017 by Kim Niles. All rights reserved.

❤️If you were encouraged by this post, please feel free to share it to encourage others!

For more encouragement:

❤️Making peace with God: http://peacewithgod.net

❤️Getting Your Breath Back After Life Knocks It Out of You (Kim’s book): Click here for book

❤️Connect on Facebook by “liking” page: http://www.facebook.com/GettingYourBreathBackAfterGrief

❤️Kim’s blog: http://www.griefbites.com

❤️YouVersion offers FREE Grief Bites reading plans- http://www.youversion.com

Loving The Hurting, Remembering The Forgotten: An Important Challenge To Churches Everywhere For 2016

This morning, I attended a very special All Staff meeting at my church.

We received phenomenal leadership and encouragement about change from our pastor. It was a great time of worship, vision, learning, and community.

While Pastor Craig was sharing his heart, my mind began to come up with so many fresh, new ideas of change for my grief ministry, as my spirit absorbed the wisdom, passion, creativity, and vision God had planned for me.

I have a huge passion for those who hurt, those who feel rejected or displaced, those who deeply grieve, those who feel life can never be better, and those who have turned their back on God and the church. And I absolutely love that my pastor has a huge heart for these precious groups of people as well!

I’ve felt the sting of each of these situations through different seasons of my life, and none of them were a fun place to be. Because of personally experiencing these situations, God has been good to allow me to gain insight and understanding so I could know how to encourage and help in these areas…but today I wondered “is it enough?…am I doing enough?” 

The answer, if I’m honest with myself, is no, not always. 

So another question came to mind, “what can you change?…what needs to change?

Every church cares. Most Christians truly care.

Every church wants people to feel as though they belong. Many Christians go out of their way to show love and acceptance.

Every church truly wants to minister to everyone. There are a lot of staff and Christians who spend many, many hours in ministry helping and equipping others. 

Every church wants to make a huge difference. There are too many ministries to count that genuinely make incredible impacts.

So what are we missing? Also, who are we missing? 

What changes can we all implement to be more loving, accepting, kind, and effective so we can minister, serve, and encourage to the best of our abilities to make the absolute greatest impact?

There are no perfect Christians, no perfect churches, no perfect ministries, no perfect staff, no perfect people, no perfect anything. Perfection is something we definitely pursue, but Christians fall short…all people fall short—regardless of their religious affiliation. Ministries fall short…just like workplaces fall short.

So how do we bridge the gap between the church and people who are hurting…people who are deeply grieving…people who have given up on—or even reject—God and the church…people who have never and won’t even consider stepping foot in a church…people who feel like life is hopeless?

I’m truly excited by what God showed me this morning and the ideas He gave me!

I look forward to ministering like never before, serving more vibrantly, boldly caring, and writing more in 2016.

As you read this, you may not share my enthusiasm. You may even have already thought of past hurts you’ve experienced.

If you fit into any of the above categories, I hope you’ll closely follow my blog and find encouragement. I am so very sorry if you have been wounded or offended by someone in the church…so very sorry if you’ve experienced deep grief…incredibly sorry if you ever felt as though life was hopeless or made to feel that your life was void of value…so sorry if an event happened that made you turn your back on God and the church. Truly, truly, genuinely sorry. If someone has not sincerely apologized to you personally, then I offer my deepest apologies as a part of the body of Christ!

God has great compassion and incredible love for you! You DO matter! Your life IS valuable! Your heartache, grief, and pain DOES count! God hears your heart’s pain and cries…and if anyone on earth failed to hear, understand, or realize your pain or grief (or failed to make it right), that is NOT okay with God…and I guarantee you it truly broke His heart. 

This year, I want to vibrantly continue to help and encourage the grief community, and I also want to pour into people who have felt hurt and offended by anyone in the church.

I look forward to encouraging everyone in 2016…especially with the vision God gave me today!

Rolling up my sleeves to truly make a greater impact is my heart’s desire this year. If you are a part of any church, please join me in this endeavor. It is desperately needed! 

If you know of anyone who has been through deep grief, anyone who is down in life, anyone who has been deeply hurt or offended by the church—whether by church staff or fellow believers, reach out to the offended and the hurting! 

We need to never be so quick to be offended or put off by a person’s disbelief, mistrust or abrasiveness…instead, we ought to look into their hearts and seek to understand the reason behind why they’re hurt, offended, or bitter. There are a crop of people we need to seek to intentionally love back to life! 

We, as the Church, constantly say and promote, “it’s okay not to be okay”…but then when people aren’t okay, or they later become not “okay,” do we as the whole church truly put our money where our mouths are and intentionally pursue the hurting and also genuinely care when others are hurt, offended, or leave?

Church is a family…ultimately one big family…who will ALL be living together in heaven some day. Is it not going to cause us shame when we see Christ and have to explain to Him how we treated some people as unvaluable or, worse, disposable?

Helping others and conflict resolution can be uncomfortable. It can be gritty and messy, for sure—definitely not all cotton candy, unicorns, sunshine and rainbows. It requires sacrifice and selflessness. People are worth it, though. So very worth it!

Isn’t this exactly what God did for each of us? I am forever grateful to those who loved me back to life and those who intentionally invested in me. Because they took the time to genuinely care for a broken, hurting, mess of a young lady years ago, my life was spectacularly changed! Now, all because of their love and concern, 200 million users on YouVersion have an opportunity to read the Grief Bites reading plans, and people in 110 countries receive grief encouragement weekly on my blog. None of this would’ve happened had certain people not seen me as someone valuable enough to care about. I had plans to be an atheist and reject God and the church…but I saw—and truly experienced—Christianity in the most pure, loving, amazing, kindest form. And it made all the difference in the world!

Who else in the world needs to experience the love of Christ? And what amazing spiritual gifts are hidden behind each hurting or hardened heart?

Sometimes, people have hearts that have had a lot of mud flung their way. Who is willing to accept the challenge to use their Christ-like love to water and nurture these hearts so their true heart can shine through?

People who have been through major grief, life challenges, or tough circumstances in life, they all have hidden treasure locked inside of them…each has their personal life story that can help others. What stories are not being shared due to not being nourished and nurtured? Like Pastor Rick Warren says, “Who better to help the grief community than someone who has been through grief? Or the atheist community than a former atheist? Or the addiction community than one who battled addiction?” There are a wealth of amazing people out there who are being lost in the shuffle and it’s up to the church to love, help and encourage them. If they were once plugged in and left a church…and no one cared…that falls on each of us.

Every person has great value and has the amazing ability to create lasting change inside and outside of their church. Ask God to use you and ask Him to show you where…and with who…He wants you to begin!

We have 11 1/2 more months of 2016 to see what God is capable of doing through this challenge. Let’s seek to obey Him with everything we’ve got!

Make the incredibly important decision to love the unlovely, encourage the hurting and grieving, and to go after the ones who have left or abandoned their faith so they know someone cares…so they know that God and the church truly does care.

I know this will be some of the best time we’ll spend this year in service and devotion to God!

Be His heart…be His hands…be His feet!

So who is up to this challenge?

I hope everybody!

Every single day, ask God to show you someone to encourage, and ask Him to bring to mind those who have left the church or who have abandoned their faith.

May God richly reward and bless you as you love people back to life and shine the brightest light possible for Him this year!

Gratitude and many blessings,
Kim

©2016 by Kim Niles. All rights reserved.

If what you read was helpful, please feel free to share it❤️

For more encouragement:

Best decision of your life: http://peacewithgod.net

Kim’s blog: http://www.griefbites.com

Connect on Facebook by “liking” page: http://www.facebook.com/GettingYourBreathBackAfterGrief

FREE YouVersion reading plans:
1. Grief Bites: Hope For The Holidays: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/1964-grief-bites-hope-for-the-holidays
2. Grief Bites: Finding Treasure In Hardships: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/912-grief-bites-finding-treasure-in-hardships 
3. Grief Bites: Doubt Revealed: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/954-grief-bites-doubt-revealed 
4. Grief Bites: A New Approach To Growing Through Grief https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/862-grief-bites 

Getting Your Breath Back After Life Knocks It Out of You (Kim’s book): Click here for book

❤️

Suicide…10 TIPS to make a difference

80% of all people have thought about suicide at one time or another.

50% of students have experienced suicidal thoughts.

15-18% will seriously consider suicide as a viable option.

8% will attempt it.

Suicide for me is a topic that hits home.

Several years ago, one of my friends killed herself…a few years later, another friend who attended the same Bible study with me killed himself…in 2007, a friend who changed my life committed suicide…this year, a friend of my husband’s and mine committed suicide…then a treasured loved one attempted suicide.

Yesterday, Robin Williams sadly took his own life.

Suicide is a devastating permanent decision that is made while in the trenches of a personal & temporary emotional hell.

Suicide doesn’t discriminate.

It doesn’t care if you’re rich or poor, if you have a genius mind, what nationality you are, if you have a ton of friends or none…it can tempt anyone.

It is carried out by the mentally ill, as well as the mentally fit…it is carried out by people who have very loving parents & families, as well as those who lack familial support & love…it beckons the lonely bullied kids, as well as those who are popular…it has nothing to do with God, as well as everything to do with God.

How many people do each of us know who are silently at the brink of potentially quitting life?

It starts with every person because each one of us has the incredible capacity to make a difference in the lives of others!

I thought of 10 things that may make a difference. This certainly is not an exhaustive list. People hurt for many different reasons. This list is just what I consider helpful.

10 TIPS FOR SUICIDE PREVENTION~it starts with each of us

1. CHOOSE TO BE A NICE PERSON

Be kind to others. You NEVER know what people are dealing with on a day-to-day basis…things that you have no idea about. Your words have the power to uplift someone or to destroy a part of someone’s heart.

You’d be surprised how many people are literally one unkind word away from doing something regretful. “One” thing someone says could very well be the “100th” thing that was said to them during the week or month. Unkindness has a layering affect that eventually builds up. Use your words to be kind.

2. BE A GOOD REFLECTION

If you see that someone is struggling–or they are being bullied, outcasted, or rejected–or if you see someone who is making poor decisions–choose to be the ONE person who makes a difference in their life. Some people have no idea that they have VALUE.

Maybe God wants to use YOU to help uncover their value to where they gain the ability to CLEARLY see it for themselves.

Problems have a way of clouding the way we see ourselves in the daily mirror of life. Be a good solid mirror in the lives of others so that when they talk to you, they see a good reflection. People truly need that. If you see something good in someone, tell them. Give people genuine praise and words of affirmation. You may be the only good “mirror” they will see themselves through until they gain the ability to see the good in their own self.

3. DEVELOP DISCERNMENT & MERCY

Don’t believe everything you hear about people. If you do hear something negative, choose to be the type of person who gives others MERCY & the benefit of the doubt. Everybody has value and everyone has the potential to do great things with their life. EVERYBODY.

Even if something said is true, people can and do change.

Give & be the mercy today that you would hope to receive tomorrow.

Treat others how you would want to be treated in the same situation.

Everybody has the capacity to make a really poor decision. It is never a good idea to be so prideful to think that we are the exception. Please use discernment and give others MERCY.

4. DON’T PLACE BLAME

Don’t blame or judge the parents, spouse, or family of the person who tried to commit suicide or succeeded in commiting suicide. If a person commits suicide, it simply means that they did not like how the circumstances of their life was going, they lost hope, or an event was excruciatingly painful, or the pain in their life became too great to handle. It does NOT (& should NOT) reflect on the family of those left behind.

The family left behind needs your love, support, COMPASSION, & encouragement more than ever. Don’t shun or avoid them and please DO NOT make their situation a topic of gossip. They feel terribly heartbroken and traumatized about it already. Please do not add to their pain.

Don’t blame the person. They were in a lot of pain and they simply got caught up in a very dark moment and felt like the options ran out. They weren’t trying to be selfish, hurtful or unthoughtful…they were in the darkest depths of their life and didn’t know how to swim to the surface. They felt as though they were drowning and got tired of treading the waters of “life”.

If you know of a hurting family member or friend, please don’t judge their pain…please HELP & LOVE THEM!

Many times, outside people do not have all the facts to know the totality of a story of what went on inside the life of the person who committed suicide. Everybody has a story…and not everyone is an open book. Please be compassionate.

5. CHOOSE TO BE A HOPE GIVER & ENCOURAGER

There are some people in life who have a way of infusing hope in the darkest situations of life. CONTINUALLY FIND WAYS TO BE ONE OF THEM! Seek to let everyone you come in contact with know that life is good regardless of any life event they are going through. Encourage those who God has placed around you.

INFUSE HOPE, LOVE, AND ENCOURAGEMENT INTO FAMILY & FRIEND’S LIVES!

Although suicide or attempted suicide can be a source of gossip, don’t be so quick to believe that someone who attempted suicide is merely a depressed mess.

Many times, after a suicide attempt, a person will learn very deep life lessons. Many will develop compassion towards others who are hurting. Some of the best encouragers I’ve ever met have been those who have been affected by depression or suicide.

After my attempt, I found how to be an encourager. If you want to be a great encourager, think of the struggles you have had in life…then look for others who are going through a same or similar struggle, and encourage them the way you wished someone would have encouraged you.

It can make a big difference!

6. DEVELOP AN ETERNAL PERSPECTIVE & A LIFE PURPOSE THAT BECOMES GREATER THAN PERSONAL PAIN

It is so important to understand how to have an eternal perspective…and to genuinely understand that EVERY life matters. There is a huge need for people who are able to EFFECTIVELY communicate this truth: Everybody goes through bad situations in life…and every situation in life is redeemable. EVERYBODY has a life purpose that needs to be fulfilled…and ONLY they have the ability to fulfill it.

With so much judgment in the world, it is easy for people to feel constantly discouraged. We need to reverse our judgments and turn them into something that helps others…and find tangible ways of caring for others. When people are down…and there are a lot of situations that can bring people down…who can they trust to help lift them out of the pit? It’s not enough to say, “I care”…everybody cares…our families and friends may need more than that. They may need to know that someone ACTIVELY CARES and are willing to invest in their life. If you see someone struggling…ask how you can help. Let them know they have great value and that there is an Answer to anything and everything in life. PEOPLE NEED TO KNOW THAT THEIR LIFE PURPOSE IS GREATER THAN ANY PAIN THEY EXPERIENCE. Pain in life is temporary…a life purpose is eternal. IT HAS AN ONGOING LASTING IMPACT & LEGACY. 

I suffered greatly with depression until I found my life purpose. Everybody has an incredible life purpose…once you find out what your own unique purpose is, it breathes new life into your heart. It truly fills your heart with HOPE!

There is purpose in every pain we all go through and it is often there to develop & refine our life purpose.

To find out your purpose, go to http://www.chazown.com and also http://www.purposedriven.com

I HIGHLY recommend two books:

  • Rick Warren’s book, The Purpose Driven Life: What On Earth Am I Here For? This book has sold more books than any other nonfiction book except for the Bible. It is an incredible book that has the ability to change lives!
  • Craig Groeschel’s book, Chazown: A Different Way to See Your Life Craig Groeschel is a skilled communicator. You will truly enjoy his style of writing and wit!

7. BE A GOOD EXAMPLE TO YOUR CHILDREN

We, as parents, can fool ourselves into believing that our kids are automatically or naturally born “kind” people.

Character & kindness are CAUGHT, not TAUGHT. We can tell our kids to be kind all we want but if they do not see it in our lives, they aren’t going to buy it.

Here are a few questions each of us should ask ourselves for personal accountability:

(IT STARTS AT HOME!)

Do your kids see you being kind to your spouse, your other children, & others? Do they see you talking bad about other people to your friends? Do they see you maliciously gossiping, belittling, or insulting others? Do they see you actively befriending others or do they see you being overly critcal & picky with whom you choose to befriend? Has someone reached out to you to offer friendship and you snubbed them? Have you been arrogant or exclusive? Have they witnessed you being “two-faced”…nice to people when they are around but talk poorly about them later?

Parents are children’s main blueprint & role models for how to treat others. I think sometimes, we can all minimize or forget that.

We want to blame others instead of looking in the mirror. We ALL do it…harsh but true.

We want to think that it is always “everyone else” who will fix societal issues. We each need to honestly self-reflect to see if we are truly part of the problem…and how we can be part of the solution.

We, as parents, need to realize that kind parents produce the next kind generation. The hand that rocks the cradle has the power to influence and rock the world. Make sure you do everything in your power to ensure that your children will rock the world with kindness and compassion as adults.

If you’ve made these mistakes (and we ALL have), go to your kids and ask for forgiveness. It is never too late to become a kinder person and to open up important conversation with our kiddos about being kind to others..even if they are now adults. We are all works in progress, none of us are perfect.

When you know better, you then have the ability to do better.

Now that you know, change life up & make kindness a priority. Teach your kids to be kind by example.

8. INFORM OTHERS OF ORGANIZATIONS THAT WANT TO HELP THEM

Post a phone number of a suicide hotline on your facebook page today and tell your facebook friends that they are valuable. You may want to simply say something like, “If you’re feeling depressed or like there’s no reason to live, PLEASE go talk to someone. I care about each and every one of you and want you to continue being in my life.”

People need to tell their family & friends that they are cared about. It DOES make a difference!

By the way, National Suicide Prevention Lifeline‘s phone number is 1-800-273-TALK (8255). Suicide hotline is 24/7, free, and confidential with a nationwide network of crisis centers.

Another good organization with a free hotline is The Focus on the Family Help Center. Counselors are available to listen and pray with you, as well as provide initial guidance and resources to help. Arrange to speak with a licensed Christian counselor at no cost by calling 1-855-771-HELP (4357) Monday through Friday between 6:00 a.m. and 8:00 p.m. (Mountain time).

9. CALL PEOPLE OUT

If you see that a family member or friend has been behaving differently, has made drastic changes to their appearance or lifestyle, has appeared depressed or hopeless, or has mentioned “life sucks” or has said life is “not worth living”, CALL THEM OUT ON IT…ASK if they are okay. Tell them you care about them and that you love them. Let them know that you are always there for them and they can call you anytime…day or night. Better to offend a friend than to have regret.

10. REACH OUT TO YOUR FAMILY & FRIENDS IF YOU ARE HAVING A HARD TIME AND SEEK GOD

If you are feeling depressed, reach out to your loved ones. Society tells everyone that they need to be strong…but we ALL will have times in life where we feel weak or depressed.

Don’t bottle it all in. Seek out a TRUSTED family member or friend and get the help you need.

It helps to get another person’s perspective about situations and hardships in life. It helps to know someone cares.

If you are feeling depressed, make wellness a priority…even if you don’t want to.

Pray, seek God’s heart, eat right, exercise, get enough sleep and rest, and do things in life that you previously enjoyed…especially when you do not feel like doing any of these things.

It takes time to fix what has been broken. It takes time for God to work the details out to make something good come out of the painful event you are experiencing.

Get the help you need today so you have the ability to help others through the situations they are facing tomorrow. YOU are going to be ABSOLUTE JEWEL to someone in the future who will be going through a similar heartache!

I hope all of this was helpful. If it makes a difference in even one person’s life, it was worth writing. Please know that you have VALUE! Life is worth living! 

Yes, 8% will attempt suicide. I pray that those 8% will find the HOPE they are seeking from ONE person. Their life purpose is unfolding. I sure hope someone cares about them today so they have a renewed ability to live out their life purpose tomorrow.

Be the ONE.

Each one of us knows someone who is going through depression or someone who is going through a tough time.

Let’s make the commitment to pick up the phone TODAY & call the people we love and tell them how much they mean to us. If we know someone is down, we need to check on them and make sure they are okay. Encourage family & friends this week!
Compassion is so needed in this world..everyone needs to know they matter.

If you have gone through the heartache of losing a family member or friend to suicide, I am so very sorry. I know that every time suicide is a topic in the news, it can bring intense grief back up to the surface. Praying for every family going through this tonight!

If you are having thoughts of suicide or you are going through deep depression, DO NOT wait to get help. There’s no shame in getting help! If you broke your arm, you’d seek out help. How much more important is your heart & your mind!
Please seek out help for depression…especially if you are having suicidal thoughts!
YOU MATTER!!!!!

©2014 Kim Niles/Grief Bites. All rights reserved.

Kim’s book: Click here for book

❤️If you were encouraged by this post, please feel free to share it to encourage others!

⭐️For more encouragement:

❤️Making peace with God: http://peacewithgod.net

❤️Connect on Facebook by “liking” page: www.facebook.com/GettingYourBreathBackAfterGrief

❤️Kim’s blog: www.griefbites.com

❤️FREE YouVersion reading plans:

1. Grief Bites: Finding Treasure In Hardships: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/912-grief-bites-finding-treasure-in-hardships

2. Grief Bites: Doubt Revealed: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/954-grief-bites-doubt-revealed

3. Grief Bites: A New Approach To Growing Through Grief https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/862-grief-bites

4. Grief Bites: Hope For The Holidays: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/1964-grief-bites-hope-for-the-holidays


5. Experiencing Holidays With Jesus: Christmas: http://bible.com/r/3V5

6. Experiencing Holidays With Jesus: Happy New Year!: http://bible.com/r/3Zv

7. Valentine’s Day: Experiencing Holidays With Jesus (coming soon)

⭐️All content on the Grief Bites blog and website is copyright protected material. Please ask for permission to copy, use, or print. 

⭐️⭐️All content on the Grief Bites blog and website is for encouragement purposes only and is not in any way to be construed as medical, emotional, mental, relational, or psychological advice. We hope to serve as a bridge to encourage others by sharing our personal grief and life experiences. Please contact a qualified healthcare professional, mental health professional, or qualified pastor for guidance and advice.