Tag Archive | God

When A Loved One Is Battling Cancer…

It’s been a crazy few weeks.

My brother had a heart attack, and then my dad suddenly became extremely ill after a biopsy (which came back clear) … and a few weeks later was diagnosed with Stage 4 metastasized cancer.

With my dad, it came out of the blue. Nine weeks ago, we were working out together, as we had been doing, three times a week. He was out-lifting and more fit than many people half his age at the gym. He also always walked at least 10,000 steps a day and was taking care of his health since beating cancer a few years ago (you can read a blog post I wrote from my dad’s first cancer journey here: https://griefbites.com/2016/07/27/the-thief-grief-of-cancer/).

My brother’s heart attack also came as a shock. It happened on Mother’s Day and was a complete surprise.

Having two family members go through dire, life threatening illnesses within mere weeks of one another has been extremely stressful and heart wrenching.

As I was talking on the phone with a friend, telling her how I felt after she asked how I was doing, I put it into words. She said, “Kimmy, you need to blog about this. I’ve never heard such an accurate description.”

This is for my dad…my mom…our family…my two additional family members who are battling cancer…our friends…the grief and cancer communities.…everyone who has had cancer or has watched a loved one suffer through such a devastating illness.

May God grant all of us His mercy, compassion, healing, and His help as we walk through the incredibly hard journey of cancer.

😢🌷When A Loved One Is Battling Cancer🌷😢

Having a loved one go through sudden advanced aggressive cancer is the equivalent of your whole family being thrown into hell in a big bubble without warning.

The whole family is in an air conditioned bubble among the flames — except your loved one who is battling cancer — and you’re watching your loved one…who is outside the bubble…greatly suffer.

You can’t open the bubble to let them in…and you can’t exit the bubble to offer them relief or help.

You have water and you’re willing to give your loved one all the water in the world to refresh and help them – to put out the flames, to offer them a drink, to cool their suffering…but you can’t.

Every time you hear them cry out or wince in excruciating pain…you can’t help. You can’t take away the pain at all.

When they’re so weak they can barely walk or talk…you can’t strengthen them or be the breath their lungs so badly need.

When they are rapidly losing weight…you may be the best cook in the world, or offer to get them any food they want from any restaurant…ANY restaurant…but there’s nothing you can do. You can’t give them the gift of appetite or take away their nausea. Seeing your loved one lose weight – my dad lost 40 lbs last month – you feel like you’re in a nightmare. You learn that when they do feel like eating, you take full advantage of it – and pray they’ll be able to keep it down.

You love them so much that you’d willingly trade places with them…you even tell God you’re willing…but it’s not an option and you can’t take any of the burden off of them.

You see your other loved ones processing it…you can’t really help them either. Words of encouragement are empty…it feels so fluffy and artificial. Just like grief, there are no words in the human language to provide relief or comfort.

You want to say, “I love you,” and hug them a billion times a day…actually, you want to hold them tight and never let them go…but you can’t because it’ll just freak them out. They’ll wonder if they’re closer to death than they realize.

And the pain…the horrendous pain…you desperately want to make it better for them. Sometimes their pain is so great that gentle hugs are physically painful to them. It’s miserable not being able to alleviate their pain. You can’t make them more comfortable either…and due to the pain, no position – sitting or lying down – feels good. Temperature means nothing. They’re burning up one minute and another minute, they’re freezing. It’s so frustrating to them.

You want to cry…but you don’t dare because you need to keep your loved one’s spirits and hope up as high as possible. So much of the battle of beating cancer is in the mind and spirit. You’ll do whatever it takes to help them have the best odds, and most favorable mindset, of beating this dreadful illness.

You want to say stuff like, “it’s going to be okay” – but how do you tell someone it’s going to be okay – when you don’t even know if things will be okay? So you instead say, “We are going to do everything possible to beat this! We’re in this together!”

You want to 100% focus on your loved one battling cancer…but there will be times you won’t be able to since you still have work responsibilities, chores, etc – and you’ll feel so torn. You’ll strive for as much time with your loved one as possible – because you fully understand that any day could be “the day”…and as a result, you’ll cancel any and every unnecessary appointment, social event, anything unnecessary, everything. You realize an awful truth and it breaks your heart into a billion pieces: if God doesn’t grant you the miracle you’re seeking, you are on borrowed time…and the time is short.

You so badly want your loved one to stay on earth…you ignore reality and pray boldly in faith. You’ll be praying for huge miracles – because you want your loved one to stay here. You can’t imagine life without them…and you know you can’t “go there” and especially cannot “camp out there” in your thoughts because this can absolutely depress you. So you ask God for more faith, strength, and a miracle. You’ll even try to barter with God. You focus on prayer…you realize that intense prayer – and even fasting for your loved one (after talking to your doctor) – is the best way to help them. And you don’t just want to save them because you love them so much…you want to save them because you don’t want to see a bright light go dim…they’re doing so much for God on earth, so you continue to beg God for a miracle — multiple times each day. Even though things look bleak, you stand firmly in faith and claim any scripture you know or can find on healing.

Since you’re not crying in front of your loved one…God, other family members, the shower, and the car become your best friends. You cry out to God in your heart…your insides do the crying – and no one around you is aware of it. You turn on music and cry in the shower – where no one can hear. Sometimes, you’ll slump to the ground and pour your ever living heart out to God – especially on the frustrating days where you feel so powerless to help. You get it all out. The car is a great place to pull over and just cry on the hardest days, too. And you do this so you can reset and be your absolute best for your loved one.

You get upset that it’s your dad or family member…and will ask God, “why my dad?why my loved one?” My dad is the nearest thing to a walking angel. Seriously…he is SO good to God, my mom, his grandkids and greats, my siblings, my husband, me – all of our family. I’ve never met anyone who has more integrity than him. Here’s how well-known of how great a person my dad is: At my dad’s birthday party, my sister (as a party game) had a quiz about my dad…one of the questions on the quiz was “Where was Gramps born?” Someone replied, “Don’t say in a manger!” My dad isn’t just a good man…he’s literally the godliest man I’ve ever known. He loves others and lives out his Christianity 24/7.

So many thoughts and emotions these past few weeks!

Whoever pegged the saying “Cancer Sucks” … they were absolutely right. It so very much does suck.

……………..BUT……………..

Make no mistake…there is always hope!!

Cancer – even though it sucks so bad – it does not and will not have the last word! It will refine you…absolutely allow it to refine you…you’ll also find out who your real friends and caring family members are…this refinement is a gift! It will cause you to completely reprioritize your life and relationships. You find out quickly what is truly important – and what is not.

It’s not always doom and gloom…you’re not always a crying, bumbling mess…because you’re also enjoying the heck out of your loved one. You’re doing everything in your power to bring them encouragement, hope, and joy.

Every. day. is. a. precious. gift. A gift not to be wasted.

You’ll have some of the deepest, richest, best conversations ever…and you’ll laugh with your loved one, too.

I’ve had some of the most meaningful conversations with my dad lately…and I’m writing down these precious words, too. I never want to forget these very meaningful talks — and the precious advice he’s giving me. He’s also sharing with me things to say to our loved ones at a future date. His focus isn’t on himself…his focus and his heart is on God, the love of his life (my mom), his treasured grandkids, my siblings, all of our family, and me. My dad’s entire life and world is God, my mom, and our family. Cancer hasn’t and will not change that.

I did mess up and cry around my dad – on Father’s Day – and my dad said something that blew me away. He said he feels his cancer is a privilege to walk through…that it’s a blessing in disguise – even though it doesn’t look like one right now – BECAUSE God will be glorified in this extremely tough situation. He said his cancer will draw our family closer together — and we have the opportunity to allow this trial to refine, teach, and remind us what life, family, forgiveness, and love are all truly about.

I know God is going to carry my dad, my mom, and us through this excruciatingly painful time…no matter the outcome…because God is good. So very, very good!

There are days I feel helpless. I HATE not being able to help my Dad. It’s my nature to help…love…encourage…prevent tragedy…console…save…and protect those I love deeply. I’ve wondered a hundred times how we got here…my dad had been to the ER a few times and was hospitalized twice as well…how did nobody catch this?🥲 Questions like these are futile. My dad told me to focus on the “here and now.” Although this all took us by surprise…this did not take God by surprise. And God is sovereign.

My dad said the battle isn’t mine…that I need to be still and know that God is God. He also said not to be upset with God…that God is good. My dad’s right: The battle isn’t mine. And God IS always good. He isn’t just good…He is 100% faithful…capable…loving…kind…and He is for my dad and our family.

Now that I’ve had a few cry-fests, I’m learning how to better shift my emotions, perspective, thoughts, and focus from an earthly perspective to an eternal perspective…to take (like my siblings have advised) “one hour/day at a time” – which isn’t always easy.

We always say, “I trust God”…and times like these reveal the contents of our hearts…they are also an exclusive opportunity to prove that we do indeed trust God.

So I need to remind my heart: We walk by faith not by sight…God can do more in a moment than I could ever hope to do in a lifetime…God’s Perfect Will – even when we don’t like or agree with it – is exactly what we all would want if we knew ALL the facts…God doesn’t need my help. At all…God is God – and I am not…sooo…I lovingly place my dad, his care, and his very life into the hands of the One who loves him most.

Anyone who has been through this gets it – our family, sadly, is not the only ones to go through this. Millions of people experience this every year. Two other family members are experiencing cancer as I write this. My heart goes out to all who have – and are – experiencing illness.

My focus is on God, my dad, family, and others who are grieving a loved one or battling cancer.

Instead of focusing on the cancer on the toughest days…what could or could not happen…what may or may not be…I will turn my focus – in faith – onto God.

Instead of crying in the car and shower…I will turn these times into deeper times of prayer and praise to the One who loves us most and best.

I will love and enjoy God…my parents…my spouse and kiddos…my entire family…to the very best of my ability.

Yes, I will absolutely still lift my dad and family up in prayer every single day…but my focus will not be on the storm…my focus will be on my God who controls the storm.

And I know I’ll get to know God at a much deeper, richer, and more treasured level through these trials. Like my dad said, this is a blessing in disguise…and God will create good from this situation — because God never wastes a hurt.

I’ll do what my dad has requested: turn my tears into prayers…my worries into praise…my fears into trust…and believe this trial holds a greater purpose.

I. will. not. quit. praying…and I will help my dad stay positive as his treatments become more intense and painful. He said this type of chemo (FOLFOX) made his first cancer treatments feel like a cake walk. I’ll continue to encourage, strengthen, and help him.

I pray anyone who has been affected by cancer will be comforted, encouraged, and healed. And I pray fervently that my dad – and your loved ones, too – will make it and will be healed.

Please pray my dad and all who are battling cancer will win their fight starting today…and may each and everyone of us experience a brand new facet of God as we walk – and continue to love, trust, and praise Him – through the storms we all face. 💗

No matter what storm you’re facing today, always remember you are loved and I am praying for you!

~Kim

©2021 Kim Niles/Grief Bites. All rights reserved.

❤️If you were encouraged by this post, please feel free to share it to encourage others!

⭐️For more encouragement:

❤️Making peace with God: http://www.peacewithgod.net

❤️Getting Your Breath Back After Life Knocks It Out of You (Kim’s book): https://www.christianbook.com/getting-knocks-transparent-journey-seeking-through/k-b-h-niles/

❤️Connect on Facebook by “liking” page: https://www.facebook.com/GettingYourBreathBackAfterGrief

❤️Kim’s blog: https://www.griefbites.com

❤️FREE YouVersion reading plans:

1. Grief Bites: Finding Treasure In Hardships: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/912-grief-bites-finding-treasure-in-hardships

2. Grief Bites: Doubt Revealed: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/954-grief-bites-doubt-revealed

3. Grief Bites: A New Approach To Growing Through Grief https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/862-grief-bites

4. Grief Bites: Hope For The Holidays: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/1964-grief-bites-hope-for-the-holidays

5. Experiencing Holidays With Jesus: Christmas: http://bible.com/r/3V5

6. Experiencing Holidays With Jesus: Happy New Year!: http://bible.com/r/3Zv

7. Valentine’s Day: Experiencing Holidays With Jesus: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/14059-valentines-day-experiencing-holidays-with-jesus

⭐️All content on the Grief Bites blog and website is copyright protected material. Please ask for permission to copy, use, or print.

⭐️⭐️All content on the Grief Bites blog and website is for encouragement purposes only and is not in any way to be construed as medical, emotional, mental, relational, or psychological advice. We hope to serve as a bridge to encourage others by sharing our personal grief and life experiences. Please contact a qualified healthcare professional, mental health professional, or qualified pastor for guidance and advice.

“How am I ever going to get through this?”

As a grief and marriage coach, I am frequently asked by others, “How am I ever going to get through this?”

Grief and loss are so incredibly hard to experience…and so many are caught off guard and unprepared for how to get through the toughest days of their life.

There is no such thing as a cookie cutter answer to those who are seeking help and answers. There are commonalities among grievers but grief is so individual.

You take one minute at a time…until you take one hour at a time…then you take one day at a time…then one week at a time…then one month at a time.

Sometimes, all you’ll be able to initially do is make the decision to “exist.”
Then you’ll go through the motions.
Yet, during these times, it’s important to feel what you need to feel. Sometimes, this will feel like a much needed release, but other times, it’s far too painful…so you’ll choose to wait an hour or two – maybe even a day – when you feel you can better handle it.

Allow trusted family & friends to hold you up until you’re able to process your grief.
Key word here is trusted. There’s a big difference between someone who genuinely cares and loves you…and someone who just wants “the scoop” and will use your most vulnerable emotions and details to share with the world.

You’ll initially feel frozen – like the whole world has stopped…then you’ll crawl…then walk…fall down…then get back up and learn how to jog…fall down again…then fully run with God’s grace and help. Then you find out what every griever eventually finds while running: one memory…one song on the radio…one random holiday can trip you out of nowhere…even years later…and the timeline is different for each griever. That’s why it is so vital to stay so close to God…He will lovingly pick you back up. Every. time.

Something that surprised me was random emotions during grief. Your emotions might surprise you too. You may feel irritated or angry out of nowhere. Angry at your loss. Angry at God. Angry at the illness that stole your loved one. Angry at the doctors. Angry at how unfair your situation is. Your anger isn’t just merely anger – it’s a very deep form of grief. It is so important to never allow this part of your grief to win. It will cost you far more than you’ll ever want to pay. Feel what you need to feel…absolutely…just please don’t permanently camp out there. Run to God full force…even when you don’t want to. Especially when you don’t want to.

Never give up hope! It won’t always feel or be as bad as the way it is today…but it takes time and grief work. You’ll get there.💗

Be kind to others and be kind to your own heart. You’re going through one of the toughest times of your life.
Give yourself (and others) compassion and grace.

One day, you’ll realize you smiled for the first time…and laughed…and you might even feel guilty…but choose to press forward. Your treasured loved one enjoyed seeing you happy while they were on earth…they want you to discover happiness and joy again. They want you to have a good life.
It’s tough at times though because each new memory is a new memory without them. It’s okay to feel that tremendous loss…choose to walk through that pain and then also choose to open yourself up to feel the happiness and joy your heart deserves. Fully enjoy the gift of life when you feel ready to do so.

Always remember and honor your treasured loved one…and don’t feel bad or apologize for it. You will never “get over” your loved one or your situation of grief, as some may pressure you to do.

Realize that grief isn’t something you get over, it’s something you eventually get through. The greater the love, the greater the grief. The goal isn’t to get over someone you love…the goal is to eventually warmly smile when you think of your loved one and live life to the fullest in their honor. Make them proud.💗

Look for ways to make a difference in your loved one’s honor…to celebrate their precious life. Do something special for someone in your loved one’s honor – perhaps a family member or friend – every birthday and anniversary…the days that hurt the worst. Maybe go out to eat on their birthday to their favorite restaurant- and then tip the waiter or waitress the amount you would’ve spent on your loved one for their birthday or your anniversary. Or pay for the car behind you in a drive thru. You’ll be surprised how healing this can be as you keep your loved one’s memory alive each year.

When going through grief…be patient with yourself (and your loved ones).
It’s literally as though you’ve been in an emotional “car crash”…it takes time to heal.
If you were in a car crash, you’d need triage help at first…maybe even multiple surgeries…then perhaps physical therapy and occupational therapy to help you learn how to live life again.

Grief is no different.

Take the time you need to learn how to live life again. God is with you every step of the way.

You are valuable. You are so very loved. I’m glad you’re here…and that you are continually choosing to remain here. Your life holds exceptional purpose and value.

Grief is a mixture of so many emotions. It’s one of the toughest events you’ll ever experience in life.

You’ll never be the same.

You’ll see every part of life so differently.

And you’ll grow.

You’re going to make it through this heartbreaking, gut wrenching, terrible time. With God’s help, love, mercy, grace, and encouragement, He’ll help you pick up every piece of your life that was shattered. Simply ask Him. He is there. He deeply cares. He loves you more than anybody ever has and ever will.

Never give up hope!💗

©2021 Kim Niles/Grief Bites. All rights reserved.

❤️If you were encouraged by this post, please feel free to share it to encourage others!

⭐️Some additional blog posts that may encourage your heart:

The Value of Anger in Grief: https://griefbites.com/2017/04/03/the-value-of-anger-in-grief/

What To Do When You Can’t Take Anymore: https://griefbites.com/2021/02/27/what-to-do-when-you-cant-take-anymore/

When God Doesn’t Give You Your Fairytale: https://griefbites.com/2018/03/21/when-god-doesnt-give-you-your-fairytale-2/

7 Things To Realize About Someone Going Through A Hard Time: https://griefbites.com/2016/02/20/7-things-to-realize-about-someone-going-through-a-hard-time/

❤️Making peace with God: http://www.peacewithgod.net

⭐️For more encouragement:

❤️Getting Your Breath Back After Life Knocks It Out of You (Kim’s book): https://www.christianbook.com/getting-knocks-transparent-journey-seeking-through/k-b-h-niles/

❤️Connect on Facebook by “liking” page: https://www.facebook.com/GettingYourBreathBackAfterGrief

❤️Kim’s blog: https://www.griefbites.com

❤️FREE YouVersion reading plans:

1. Grief Bites: Finding Treasure In Hardships: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/912-grief-bites-finding-treasure-in-hardships

2. Grief Bites: Doubt Revealed: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/954-grief-bites-doubt-revealed

3. Grief Bites: A New Approach To Growing Through Grief https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/862-grief-bites

4. Grief Bites: Hope For The Holidays: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/1964-grief-bites-hope-for-the-holidays

5. Experiencing Holidays With Jesus: Christmas: http://bible.com/r/3V5

6. Experiencing Holidays With Jesus: Happy New Year!: http://bible.com/r/3Zv

7. Valentine’s Day: Experiencing Holidays With Jesus: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/14059-valentines-day-experiencing-holidays-with-jesus

⭐️All content on the Grief Bites blog and website is copyright protected material. Please ask for permission to copy, use, or print.

⭐️⭐️All content on the Grief Bites blog and website is for encouragement purposes only and is not in any way to be construed as medical, emotional, mental, relational, or psychological advice. We hope to serve as a bridge to encourage others by sharing our personal grief and life experiences. Please contact a qualified healthcare professional, mental health professional, or qualified pastor for guidance and advice.

💗

What To Do When You Can’t Take Anymore

Everybody goes through heartache and discouragement … but what do you do when your heartache is so deep, it feels as though you may drown in your tears and despair?

I’ve been there. My grief ran extremely deep. I felt like I was dead but couldn’t die…crying was physically painful because my eyelids were so tender and raw. I felt as though I couldn’t catch my breath.

If you’re at that very tough place right now, it’s very important to know: there is hope.

If today your broken heart is crying out, “I can’t do this anymore”…

…that’s a signal.

It’s a signal to place all of the broken pieces of your heart into God’s more than capable hands.

Something to always remember: when we feel we can’t go on…GOD CAN & WILL CARRY US! He can comfort and heal a broken heart more in one moment than we could ever hope to do in a lifetime.

As we walk through our pain, God will be right beside us. He is faithful to carry us in those heart-wrenching times.

When we give God each shattered piece of our heart, He can take the broken pieces and lovingly rebuild each piece back together – and eventually create something of great value.

Our heart won’t be the same. Instead, it will have new space to hold more depth, compassion, wisdom, and much more understanding about life due to experiencing deep grief.

And there will be pain in the process…but as Pastor Rick Warren always says, “God never wastes a hurt.”

Having been through multiple grief experiences, I have found this to be more than true.

So if you are deep in heartache or discouragement today…ask God to come in and help you.

You couldn’t ask for a better Companion throughout your grief.

He truly is a Faithful Friend – and He’s always there 24/7.

God loves you…He cares for you…and He can genuinely relate to your pain.

God sees every chapter of your life – start to finish.

I promise you: God is not through with you. He will NEVER leave you or forsake you.

You may be in the worst chapter of your life…but it won’t always be like this…and you have better days to come in the upcoming chapters. With God, some of your very best days may not have even happened yet.

Hold onto hope!

TRUST God.

Feel what you need to feel.

Always remember God loves you more than anyone ever has…and He loves you more than anyone ever will.

God’s heart is good and He is FOR you!

So run to His heart and trust Him when you feel like you can’t take anymore.

No matter the grief…no matter the situation…He is always waiting for you with open arms.❤️

Looking for true peace? Whatever you’re going through, God knows—and cares. Find real hope today.

Psalms‬ ‭27:13-14‬, “I would have despaired unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the LORD In the land of the living. Wait for the LORD; Be strong and let your heart take courage; Yes, wait for the LORD.”

Isaiah 66:9, “I will not cause pain without allowing something new to be born, says the Lord.”

Philippians 1:6, “For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus.”

Jeremiah 29:11, “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a futire.”

Philippians 4:13, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”

Deuteronomy 31:6, “So be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid and do not panic before them. For the LORD your God will personally go ahead of you. He will neither fail you nor abandon you.”

Ephesians 3:20, “Glory belongs to God, whose power is at work in us. By this power he can do infinitely more than we can ask or imagine.”

©2021 Kim Niles/Grief Bites. All rights reserved.

❤️If you were encouraged by this post, please feel free to share it to encourage others!

⭐️For more encouragement:

❤️Getting Your Breath Back After Life Knocks It Out of You (Kim’s $3.19 book): https://www.christianbook.com/getting-knocks-transparent-journey-seeking-through/k-b-h-niles/

❤️Connect on Facebook by “liking” page: https://www.facebook.com/GettingYourBreathBackAfterGrief

❤️Kim’s blog: https://www.griefbites.com

❤️FREE YouVersion reading plans:

1. Grief Bites: Finding Treasure In Hardships: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/912-grief-bites-finding-treasure-in-hardships

2. Grief Bites: Doubt Revealed: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/954-grief-bites-doubt-revealed

3. Grief Bites: A New Approach To Growing Through Grief https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/862-grief-bites

4. Grief Bites: Hope For The Holidays: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/1964-grief-bites-hope-for-the-holidays

5. Experiencing Holidays With Jesus: Christmas: http://bible.com/r/3V5

6. Experiencing Holidays With Jesus: Happy New Year!: http://bible.com/r/3Zv

7. Valentine’s Day: Experiencing Holidays With Jesus: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/14059-valentines-day-experiencing-holidays-with-jesus

⭐️All content on the Grief Bites blog and website is copyright protected material. Please ask for permission to copy, use, or print.

⭐️⭐️All content on the Grief Bites blog and website is for encouragement purposes only and is not in any way to be construed as medical, emotional, mental, relational, or psychological advice. We hope to serve as a bridge to encourage others by sharing our personal grief and life experiences. Please contact a qualified healthcare professional, mental health professional, or qualified pastor for guidance and advice.

💗Truly Think About This💗

Think about your life for a moment.

🌼All of the relationships you have

🌺The memories you plan to make with loved ones.

💗The broken marriage, parent/child relationship, or family relationship that needs mending.

🌴The future vacations you want to enjoy.

💃🏻Those bucket list activities you hope to do “someday”.

🧑🏻‍🍳The career change you’ve always wanted, but haven’t dared to make.

🕺🏻Those hobbies/skills you have always wanted to learn or better develop.

What if you were told today that you’re dying?

What would you do…how would you love…how would you live…differently?

Well….I have some very important news:

You are dying.

Every. one. of. us. is.

From the moment we are born, we are literally one step closer to death with each and every day that passes by.

Not being negative…in fact, when truly pondered, life can hold brand new meaning if we truly think about this.

Each year we’re alive, we pass by our birthday…but there’s another equally important date we pass by every calendar year…the date of our future death.

We pass by this date each and every year, so we need to be just as mindful of this date as we are of our (and our loved ones) birthday.

Soooo…..

…truly get to living.

🤗Make the most of each & everyday

🙏🏻Love & treasure God with all your heart

🪴Choose to find & live out a purpose greater than yourself

🥰Love your loved ones extravagantly

🤩Give your kiddos, nieces, and nephews – all of your family – the gift of knowing they’re truly treasured, important, accepted, & loved

💋Go all out cherishing and showing love to your spouse

🌹Do what needs to be done so you can genuinely live a healed life – spiritually, emotionally, mentally, and physically

😍Be extra kind to everyone

🙏🏻Trust God with the difficult situations in your life…know and trust that He can – and if you ask, He will – make Romans 8:28 come to life for you

💕Repair the relationships that need repaired

💐Be a source of encouragement and joy to others

🧁Enrich your (& your loved ones) life with great memories & cool experiences

⭐️Frequently visit those you love and spend time with them

👠 Buy that pair of shoes – or that one outfit – that makes you feel like a million bucks

🕺🏻Dance in your living room

🍎Take the time to improve your health – health (& being “here” for family) truly is wealth

🍃Do the tough work of grief work and self work so you have the ability to heal and create your best days yet

🎵🎶Enjoy good music everyday

📔Be well read – read the Bible for encouragement and wisdom…read good quality books for self improvement…and read books for fun. If you have kiddos, read to them every night to develop their love for books and need for creativity

✏️Journal…Create a bucket list…Write thank you notes…Send letters of encouragement and gratefulness to those God places on your heart

🎉Celebrate every holiday and special occasion BIG…celebrate life…celebrate loved ones

❤️Make a difference

😇Forgive others – be the grace today that you’d hope to receive tomorrow

🐶Love (or get) a pet

😂🥲Celebrate, enjoy, and rejoice with those who rejoice … and intentionally grieve and mourn with those who grieve and mourn. Be a source of love, encouragement, compassion and comfort.

🌷Intentionally develop and leave a great legacy worth remembering

Get to it because at the end of your life – or your loved ones’ lives – you’ll either say, “If only I would’ve” … or … “I’m so glad I did!”

We (our loved ones, us) are all on loan from God…and one of these days, He will call each of us back…so make the most of every relationship you have.

Today’s the first day of the rest of your life…

Each day is a gift…and we get to decide how to daily unwrap it…so don’t waste a single precious moment of it.

Redeem the days.

Choose today, going forward, to live a full life of no regrets.

Happy weekend, everyone!

You are treasured.
You are important.
You are loved.

Your life is so very valuable and worth living!

Gratitude & blessings,

Kim

©2021 Kim Niles/Grief Bites. All rights reserved.

❤️If you were encouraged by this post, please feel free to share it to encourage others!

⭐️For more encouragement:

❤️Making peace with God: http://www.peacewithgod.net

❤️Getting Your Breath Back After Life Knocks It Out of You (Kim’s book): https://www.christianbook.com/getting-knocks-transparent-journey-seeking-through/k-b-h-niles/

❤️Connect on Facebook by “liking” page: https://www.facebook.com/GettingYourBreathBackAfterGrief

❤️Kim’s blog: https://www.griefbites.com

❤️FREE YouVersion reading plans:

1. Grief Bites: Finding Treasure In Hardships: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/912-grief-bites-finding-treasure-in-hardships

2. Grief Bites: Doubt Revealed: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/954-grief-bites-doubt-revealed

3. Grief Bites: A New Approach To Growing Through Grief https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/862-grief-bites

4. Grief Bites: Hope For The Holidays: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/1964-grief-bites-hope-for-the-holidays

5. Experiencing Holidays With Jesus: Christmas: http://bible.com/r/3V5

6. Experiencing Holidays With Jesus: Happy New Year!: http://bible.com/r/3Zv

7. Valentine’s Day: Experiencing Holidays With Jesus: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/14059-valentines-day-experiencing-holidays-with-jesus

⭐️All content on the Grief Bites blog and website is copyright protected material. Please ask for permission to copy, use, or print. Sharing the link is fine.

⭐️⭐️All content on the Grief Bites blog and website is for encouragement purposes only and is not in any way to be construed as medical, emotional, mental, relational, or psychological advice. We hope to serve as a bridge to encourage others by sharing our personal grief and life experiences. Please contact a qualified healthcare professional, mental health professional, or qualified pastor for guidance and advice.

The Very Best Time You Can Spend Today – It Can TOTALLY Make A Difference!

🎄❤️🎄Good afternoon!
Today is a great topic (and so very needed in the world today)! Hope it encourages your heart and enriches lives!

As you read this, consider who you can do this for!💕

Have you ever received a note or word of kindness or thankfulness?

One time, I spoke at a school and shared my testimony. A few days later, I received dozens of homemade cards sharing many kind words to tell me, “thank you,” for speaking at their school. My heart was beautifully overwhelmed with gratitude!

Life-giving words of affirmation are so very important – spoken or written.
When people take the time to pour into the hearts of others, it makes the recipient’s heart happy – but more importantly, it blesses God’s heart, too!

When I was in college, God blessed me with the idea to write notes of gratitude to anyone who had invested in my heart or life.
As I sat down and made a list, I included Jesus, my parents, grandparents, siblings, other family members, good friends, all of my teachers and professors, my Sunday School teachers, pastors, youth group leaders, previous and current employers, the doctors who saved my life when I was 12 and 17…anyone who had benefited my life, invested in me, or poured their heart and prayers into my life.
I received several letters back and was very surprised when many shared I was the only one who ever wrote to thank them for their kindness or investment.

So many are truly thankful for how others have blessed their life or invested in them, yet we assume others understand how grateful we are without sharing our gratitude with them.

Who can you write a beautiful note of gratitude to today? Who can you call or visit to say, “thank you,” or share with them how much you love them and care about them?

Thankfulness, notes of gratitude, and words of affirmation and blessings are all beautiful, priceless gifts we can give to Jesus, our spouse, children, parents, family, friends, educators, doctors, those we know in the military, people who serve us in our communities — everyone.

Let’s take some time to truly thank Jesus for all of the great people, blessings, and things we have in our life!

Never miss an opportunity to pour the extra special blessing of thankfulness and words of affirmation into the lives of others!

🙏🏻Prayer: “Jesus, thank You so much for all of the love, words of affirmation and blessings You pour into our lives! We also thank You for the many times people have invested in us, raised us, prayed for us, poured into our hearts and lives, educated us, taught us how to love and serve You, sacrificed for us, helped us, and all of the other ways people have contributed to our lives! I pray a special blessing right now for those who have done this for us and our families. Jesus, please help us to live lives of love, thankfulness, and gratitude. Help us to truly see how much those around us pour into our lives, love us, and care enough to bless, help, and encourage us through life‘s events. May we never take anyone, anything, or any act of love, concern, care, kindness or investment for granted – and may we never fail to give proper thanks to You and others. Jesus, please place on our hearts the names of people You want us to write a letter of gratitude to, and please also place the names of people You would like for us to call to tell them a heartfelt “thanks.” Who needs to hear positivity, love, and encouragement from us today?Also – saying “sorry” to those we have wronged and asking for forgiveness is a powerful act of gratefulness, kindness, affirmation, and love — it shows someone we truly value their heart. Please show us who we need to apologize to today.
Help us to be people of extreme gratitude and extravagant love! We love You! In Your precious name we pray, Amen!”

⭐️Activity #1: thank Jesus for all of the good He has blessed you with, and is currently blessing you with, in your life! Write a beautiful letter of gratitude to Him! Share with others how good Jesus is!

⭐️Activity #2: make a list of all of the people throughout your lifetime who have invested in your heart, spiritual walk, education, health, and life….anyone who has invested or sacrificed so you could have a better life…anyone who has encouraged you during a time of stress, heartache, and grief…anyone who has gone out of their way to make your life better. Write or call them today to say, “thank you!”

⭐️Activity #3: reach out to your loved ones who are going through grief. Ask God for ideas for loving and encouraging your loved ones today.

⭐️Activity #4: if you have children, nieces, nephews, or little people in your life (this is also great to do for the big kiddos in your life, too!), consider giving them the gift of a daily spoken blessing. I’ve continually spoken a specific verse vocally to my son…I’d rub my tummy and say this blessing to him while he was in my womb, and randomly say this scripture blessing out loud to him throughout his life (Numbers 6:24-26).
You can choose a specific Bible verse as a blessing or just use loving, positive words of encouragement. Loving words of blessing and encouragement are one of the most powerful gifts you can give to loved ones!💕
(If it feels weird to give loved ones spoken blessings, just tell them you’re starting a new tradition. They’ll love it!)

❤️Read: Numbers 6:24-26, Colossians 3:16-17, Psalms 9:1, Philippians 4:6-7, Psalms 100:4, Psalms 103:1-5

(From the YouVersion reading plan Experiencing the Holidays with Jesus: Christmas. This devotional © 2018 by Kim Niles. All rights reserved. Used by permission.

🎄💕🎄

🦌🎄❤️🦌🎄❤️🦌🎄❤️🦌🎄❤️🦌🎄❤️🦌🎄❤️🦌🎄❤️

©2020 Kim Niles/Grief Bites. All rights reserved.

❤️If you were encouraged by this post, please feel free to share it to encourage others!

⭐️For more encouragement:

❤️Making peace with God: http://www.peacewithgod.net

❤️Getting Your Breath Back After Life Knocks It Out of You (Kim’s book): https://www.christianbook.com/getting-knocks-transparent-journey-seeking-through/k-b-h-niles/

❤️Connect on Facebook by “liking” page: https://www.facebook.com/GettingYourBreathBackAfterGrief

❤️Kim’s blog: https://www.griefbites.com

❤️FREE YouVersion reading plans:

1. Grief Bites: Finding Treasure In Hardships: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/912-grief-bites-finding-treasure-in-hardships

2. Grief Bites: Doubt Revealed: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/954-grief-bites-doubt-revealed

3. Grief Bites: A New Approach To Growing Through Grief https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/862-grief-bites

4. Grief Bites: Hope For The Holidays: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/1964-grief-bites-hope-for-the-holidays

5. Experiencing Holidays With Jesus: Christmas: http://bible.com/r/3V5

6. Experiencing Holidays With Jesus: Happy New Year!: http://bible.com/r/3Zv

7. Valentine’s Day: Experiencing Holidays With Jesus: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/14059-valentines-day-experiencing-holidays-with-jesus

⭐️All content on the Grief Bites blog and website is copyright protected material. Please ask for permission to copy, use, or print.

⭐️⭐️All content on the Grief Bites blog and website is for encouragement purposes only and is not in any way to be construed as medical, emotional, mental, relational, or psychological advice. We hope to serve as a bridge to encourage others by sharing our personal grief and life experiences. Please contact a qualified healthcare professional, mental health professional, or qualified pastor for guidance and advice.

Are you hurting? Feel like giving up? Please read this.

Today, somebody is wondering how they’re going to get through what they’re going through. They’re in so much pain, and they genuinely have no idea if life will ever get better.

The pain in their heart is deep…they may feel as though grief or an extremely tough situation is attempting to steal their heart & breath…and they desperately need hope breathed back into their soul. They need to be encouraged and loved back to life.

Perhaps you are deeply mourning a treasured loved one…or you’re going through a heartbreaking divorce or separation. Maybe you’re in the midst of freshly finding out your spouse committed adultery…or you found out awhile back and they haven’t cared enough to invest time in healing your heart and marriage. Perhaps you or a loved one received devastating medical news…or maybe you’ve battled illness for years and your heart and body are frustrated and exhausted. Or you’re experiencing marital or family conflict…or estrangement. Maybe the pandemic has been extremely costly and you feel alone – you’re experiencing terrible financial issues. Perhaps you or a loved one have COVID-19 right now, or you’ve had it and you just aren’t feeling better. Maybe you’ve been rejected, betrayed, abandoned, or you feel unloved or unimportant – by those who should’ve had your back (and your heart) – especially during grief or a life challenge. You (or a loved one) may be battling addiction, and your heart is absolutely miserable and weary. Maybe “life” continues to be one big disappointment, hurt, or letdown…one after another…and you feel defeated – perhaps even bitter.

There are so many reasons we can feel hopeless — or like all is lost…

…but I want you to know there is hope.

Whatever you are going through, God truly understands the devastation…the deep heartache…the excruciating pain in your soul…the tears that have fallen from your eyes…the trauma from the life event that is keeping you up at night.

If this is you, please know there is a God who deeply cares. He sees your tears…He understands your deep heartache…He knows your entire grief event or tough situation from beginning to end. And He already knows how He is going to help (and deliver) you through this hard place.

God will not leave you…He will not abandon you…He will not leave you where you are at.

Take time right now to share your heart with God. Tell Him all about your grief and situation…even the hard stuff…especially the hard stuff. Ask Him for the comfort, love, encouragement, healing, and help you are needing.

Just like a good father would never turn their back on their children when they plead for help, God will never turn His back on His children either.

It won’t always be like this.

The pain and heartache won’t always be this intense.

You are valuable.

You have purpose.

You are extravagantly loved.

In Him, you have everything your hurting heart needs.

Please hang in there and remember this very important truth; Your best days may not have even happened yet. It may not be the life you once knew and enjoyed…but when we give God all of the shattered pieces of our heart and life, He can truly create something new out of our pain – when we trust Him.

So please do not quit.

Not today.

Not tonight.

Not a week from now.

Not a month from now.

Not a year from now.

Not ever.

Run to Abba Father’s heart, love Him, trust Him, and allow Him to love you back to life. Ask Him to breathe new hope into you.

Thank Him for what He’s about to do in your life and heart.

There will be tough days ahead…but God will be with you every step of the way.

I can promise you this: even when our life/situation isn’t good…God still is.

With God, we ALWAYS have hope!

When you can’t see or trust God’s plans…or even agree with His plans…trust His heart. God is always up to something good.

God truly does care and He has a very good plan for your life! Ask Him right now to begin revealing to your heart His great plans for you.💗

PS – Periodically ask your loved ones if they’re ok. This year has been so very challenging and hard for so many. Anytime you have an opportunity to care for, love, or encourage family and friends, please do so. Just like your loved ones may not realize what you’re going through, you never know what battles they’re facing, fighting, or going through as well. Always choose to be the rare treasure who actively cares.💞

May God bless, keep, heal, and help all of you and your loved ones!

Kim

©2020 Kim Niles/Grief Bites. All rights reserved.

❤️If you were encouraged by this post, please feel free to share it to encourage others!

⭐️For more encouragement:

🙏🏻Making peace with God: http://www.peacewithgod.net

🎄Getting Your Breath Back After Life Knocks It Out of You (Kim’s book): https://www.christianbook.com/getting-knocks-transparent-journey-seeking-through/k-b-h-niles/

❤️Connect on Facebook by “liking” page: https://www.facebook.com/GettingYourBreathBackAfterGrief

🎄Kim’s blog: https://www.griefbites.com

❤️FREE YouVersion reading plans:

1. Grief Bites: Finding Treasure In Hardships: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/912-grief-bites-finding-treasure-in-hardships

2. Grief Bites: Doubt Revealed: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/954-grief-bites-doubt-revealed

3. Grief Bites: A New Approach To Growing Through Grief https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/862-grief-bites

4. Grief Bites: Hope For The Holidays: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/1964-grief-bites-hope-for-the-holidays

5. Experiencing Holidays With Jesus: Christmas: http://bible.com/r/3V5

6. Experiencing Holidays With Jesus: Happy New Year!: http://bible.com/r/3Zv

7. Valentine’s Day: Experiencing Holidays With Jesus: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/14059-valentines-day-experiencing-holidays-with-jesus

⭐️All content on the Grief Bites blog and website is copyright protected material. Please ask for permission to copy, use, or print.

⭐️⭐️All content on the Grief Bites blog and website is for encouragement purposes only and is not in any way to be construed as medical, emotional, mental, relational, or psychological advice. We hope to serve as a bridge to encourage others by sharing our personal grief and life experiences. Please contact a qualified healthcare professional, mental health professional, or qualified pastor for guidance and advice.

Getting HOPE & The Best Days Of Your Life Back After Grief, Loss, & The Pandemic

Discouragement. Fear. Heaviness of heart. Defeat. Guilt. Regret. Weariness. Anxiety. Turmoil. Fear of the future. Depression. Uncertainty.

There are many feelings that can weigh down and haunt the soul, especially with what all is currently going on in the world.

Many of the feelings that haunt the soul are competitors…they’re competing to knock out your peace, joy, and HOPE.

Due to the pandemic, the world has dramatically changed in just a few months – and in some places, just a matter of weeks or days.

Most of us were enjoying life and loved ones, feeling hopeful about a strengthened economy, and were looking forward to better and brighter days – our best days yet…

…then the rug below was harshly ripped out from underneath us.

We’ve helplessly watched people – even loved ones – suffer. Some have even experienced the death of a treasured loved one. Many are going through financial/job fear and hardship like never before. We’ve watched fear, worry, and anxiety spike…as hope, peace, and faith in the future rapidly fall.

With this pandemic, COVID-19 will affect you in one of three ways: it will seek to massively weaken your (or a loved one’s) health and lungs by infecting your ability to breathe…it can seek to literally and permanently kill your (or a loved one’s) breath causing death…or it will attempt to steal your breath in “life” from you – your hope, faith, relationships, finances, your trust in God – everything you love about life.

I’m so very sorry for all who have experienced the death of a loved one, for all of my readers’ heartache, and all the world is going through. My heart hurts badly for everyone.

I’ve thought a lot about this pandemic…this terrible intruder that continues to affect the lives of so many. I’ve had a lot of extra time to think. Being at home, not being a big TV watcher, and work being affected which has opened up several hours – time seems to be in abundance right now.

We’ve all wanted more time, desperately wanted more hours in our day, but this is not the way we wanted to gain them.

A few days ago, with this new time, I decided to deep clean. Having been affected by cancer, I came across a quote a friend had given me:

WHAT CANCER CANNOT DO

(by Dr. Robert L. Lynn)

Cancer is so limited…
It cannot cripple love.
It cannot shatter hope.
It cannot corrode faith.
It cannot eat away peace.
It cannot destroy confidence.
It cannot kill friendship.
It cannot shut out memories.
It cannot silence courage.
It cannot reduce eternal life.
It cannot quench the Spirit.

With what is going on in the world, it is so very important we all remember a huge truth: nothing on earth – no grief…no pandemic…no disappointment…no financial challenge…no hurts…no loss…no uncertainty…no heartache…none of it can take away any of the things mentioned in the cancer quote above. None of it can take away God’s love or sovereignty, or our life purpose. Nothing.

Re-read the quote above and insert the word of what you’re presently going through (all you are being affected by or are worrying about) to replace the word cancer. For example:

COVID-19 is so limited…
It cannot cripple love.
It cannot shatter hope.
It cannot corrode faith.
It cannot eat away peace.
It cannot destroy confidence.
It cannot kill friendship.
It cannot shut out memories.
It cannot silence courage.
It cannot reduce eternal life.
It cannot quench the Spirit.

OR…

Grief…illness…financial loss…divorce…(or whatever)…is so limited…
It cannot cripple love.
It cannot shatter hope.
It cannot corrode faith.
It cannot eat away peace.
It cannot destroy confidence.
It cannot kill friendship.
It cannot shut out memories.
It cannot silence courage.
It cannot reduce eternal life.
It cannot quench the Spirit.

Grief, pandemics, illness, divorce, marriage/family issues, addiction, financial loss/hardships, relationship difficulties, life challenges, rejection — any struggle in life — NONE of these terrible events have the true capacity to defeat you…so don’t allow them that sacred privilege to damage, defeat, or negatively affect you or your soul. Each of these things can do a real number on you…for sure…but it’s up to us to limit their influence and damage.

Sucky life events steal and take away so much from us…but do not ever allow life events to destroy you, your relationship with God, family, or loved ones, or destroy your heart or soul. Never allow anything to destroy your hope.

We can’t completely control grief, loss, or the hard things in life…but we can decide how we will get through each event.

We can choose to be hope-filled…or defeated. And it’s normal if we go back and forth as we continually try to navigate what life has thrown at us. If we want to have better days, we need to continually choose hope if we are going to make it through the tough times.

How do we press forward — especially when our soul is tired?

A little story. It’s a small story, but I hope you’ll find it useful.

When I was in high school, one of my good friends was in a fight. The person who chose to start the fight didn’t give my friend an advantage. Not even a warning. Not at all. My friend was significantly smaller than their opponent and had no idea they were even going to be punched that day. And there wasn’t just the opponent…the opponent brought several friends along with them.

After being punched…my friend, in response, threw a huge, fast, and hard punch back. It just about knocked the opponent out. I was shocked…I bet my friend was shocked…and the opponent and his friends were definitely shocked. The punch allowed my friend to get us out of a bad situation so we’d be safe.

That lil bit of unprecedented courage made an impact: my friend is now a leader in the military. He credits that day with changing his life.

Totally not advocating violence…not at all…but the principle here is a great analogy for life challenges and grief. We will all be sucker punched out of nowhere by an unexpected life event…we won’t even know what hit us…but instead of quitting or accepting defeat, we need to dig deep to find unprecedented courage and punch life challenges back. Huge. Fast. Hard.

Life challenges and grief rob so much from us…do not allow it to rob you further by stealing more of your life, allowing it to get you to quit, or giving up your hope.

Feel what you need to feel. Get through those harsh emotions and horrible days. Learn all you can through any bad event life throws your way. Allow the events to teach you the lessons you didn’t sign up for…but do not ever tap out. Fight with everything you have to get your breath back after life has knocked it out of you.

We will get through these tough days. We may lose a lot along the path of figuring out this new normal and getting our breath back…we each have a long road ahead of us…but life can be good once again. It can definitely be good once again because we will choose for it to be good. We’re not going to allow bad events to choose for us what the quality of our life is going to be. We’re not going to allow life challenges, this pandemic, or grief to decide that for us. It’s already chosen so much for us…now it’s time to start taking the choices – especially choosing to build a quality life – back. We each get to choose what life is going to be now.

Don’t lose hope or faith.

Don’t lose your most prized relationships: God and family…your best loved ones.

Choose today that no matter what you go through, you will choose hope. You will choose to rebuild. You will choose to create.

Building life back up after a major loss is rarely easy…it’s truly painful…but six months from now…one year from now…five years from now…a decade from now…we will look back and be grateful we intentionally chose hope – and to create a good life in spite of monumental challenges. We’ll be thankful we chose to fight to get the breath back that this pandemic – or any other situation of grief – attempted to knock out of us.

What are the steps you need to take today to get your breath and life back? What choices need to be made so you can create the new in your future instead of continually getting lost in the old of the past? What has punched you…and what do you need to punch back huge, fast, and hard? What lessons need to be learned, implemented, and honored during this extraordinarily tough time?

We’ll each get there. I know this because you wouldn’t have read this far if you didn’t have the courage, desire, and tenacity for life change.

Take one step at a time. Continually look at your personal situation, assess and reassess each facet of life, regroup as much as needed, know ahead of time that tough days will continue and happen, allow God to strengthen you, and search for any way to improve your quality of life with God’s grace and help.

Just a note of strong encouragement here: This is the ultimate time for change. When life is hard, it steers us – forces us – into new territory. We don’t like being steered into a new direction…most of us inwardly kick, scream, and resent it…yet it’s the most opportune time to do a true life assessment in every area: relationships, work/career, family, marriage, education/trade, health, etc. Thinking outside the box will undoubtedly lead to new innovation and invention. Ask God what He wants to do through you. Ask Him for major creativity and unprecedented ways to improve life and ways to better help others. All inventions throughout history were created out of times of hardship, uncertainty, or finding ways to better meet a need in the world. I’m looking forward to seeing what new technology, business, and opportunities – as well as life, health, and relationship improvements – will be born out of this time of unparalleled challenge and change.

We have a lot to look forward to.

Several years ago, at a conference in Chicago, I heard a great quote from Wayne Gretzky: “I skate to where the puck is going to be, not to where it has been.” A small sentence that packs a great big punch. We can all look backwards…and it’s important to do so periodically to learn and not forget…but our best use of time is looking to where life potentially is going to be. That’s what will get us through, and out, of the insurmountable rut and challenging emotions we are all in.

No matter what happens in life, life is still an exquisite gift. The opportunity is there. It’s up to us…each and every day…to choose how to best unwrap the gift of life and enjoy it.

Praying for everyone in the world today. May we all seek God, always choose to do better, and live the absolute best life possible.

By the way…this week, take the time to read Romans 8. See what God has to say to your heart. He loves you and deeply cares about your life. God truly has the power to bring extreme good out of extremely bad circumstances. Ask Him to.❤️

~Kim

©2020 Kim Niles/Grief Bites. All rights reserved.

Related posts you might like:

❤️If you were encouraged by this post, please feel free to share it to encourage others!

⭐️For more encouragement:

❤️Making peace with God: http://peacewithgod.net

❤️Getting Your Breath Back After Life Knocks It Out of You (Kim’s $3.19 book – all proceeds go back into helping the grief community): https://www.christianbook.com/getting-knocks-transparent-journey-seeking-through/k-b-h-niles/

❤️Connect on Facebook by “liking” page: https://www.facebook.com/GettingYourBreathBackAfterGrief

❤️Kim’s blog: https://www.griefbites.com

❤️FREE YouVersion reading plans:

1. Grief Bites: Finding Treasure In Hardships: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/912-grief-bites-finding-treasure-in-hardships

2. Grief Bites: Doubt Revealed: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/954-grief-bites-doubt-revealed

3. Grief Bites: A New Approach To Growing Through Grief https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/862-grief-bites

4. Grief Bites: Hope For The Holidays: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/1964-grief-bites-hope-for-the-holidays

5. Experiencing Holidays With Jesus: Christmas: http://bible.com/r/3V5

6. Experiencing Holidays With Jesus: Happy New Year!: http://bible.com/r/3Zv

7. Valentine’s Day: Experiencing Holidays With Jesus: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/14059-valentines-day-experiencing-holidays-with-jesus

⭐️All content on the Grief Bites blog and website is copyright protected material. Please ask for permission to copy, use, or print. 

⭐️⭐️All content on the Grief Bites blog and website is for encouragement purposes only and is not in any way to be construed as medical, emotional, mental, relational, or psychological advice. We hope to serve as a bridge to encourage others by sharing our personal grief and life experiences. Please contact a qualified healthcare professional, mental health professional, or qualified pastor for guidance and advice.

An Important Prayer For Hard Times & COVID-19

With the coronavirus affecting and impacting so many people and countries, we can be tempted to fall into uncertainty, fear, worry, or anxiety about the future.

Prayer is effective…it can literally change everything – especially ourselves when we pray and petition God. The following is a prayer that I hope everyone will pray out loud. If you have a family member or friend you can pray with, that’s even better (Matthew 18:19-20).

God is not surprised by any virus, illness, pandemic, or financial crisis. I pray He will use this tragic time to draw everybody close to His heart – a true revival.

Praying for all impacted by COVID-19.💗

Please feel free to share this with your family and friends…the more prayers, the better!

An Important Prayer For Hard Times (pray out loud if possible):

“Dear Most Gracious Heavenly Father,
We come before You and thank You for being in full control – and also for every evidence of good in our lives that You have blessed us with. You are better to us than we deserve.
We ask and thank You for your protection and provision. We ask for Your continual forgiveness, protection, safety, mercy, grace, and favor.
Lord, we ask You in the mighty name of Jesus Christ to powerfully shut down, cease, and halt COVID-19 – and all other viruses, illnesses, disease, and pandemics. We ask for supernatural healing, help, and protection for everyone…and each community, city, state, and country…that is being affected by this tragedy.
During uncertain times, it can be easy to freak out…to think the worst case scenarios…to give way to major anxiety, worry, and fear…and even doubt.
I ask that You completely strengthen each of us and our families and give us the grace to seek Your heart..to walk by faith and not by sight…to pick trust in You over fear…to choose Your peace that passes understanding over worry and anxiety.
Help us to be voices of comfort, love, compassion, encouragement, helpfulness, kindness, and hope to our loved ones – and please allow this tragedy to draw people close to Your heart. Lord, so many are worried about finances. Pandemics are so hard on the economy. During times of tragedy, finances can be quickly drained. Please provide for our every need…You know each and every need and financial challenge. I also pray for businesses and their employees. Please protect them and provide their every need. Give fresh creative ideas of how to sustain – and even prosper – during this extremely tough and trying time. We pray for speedy healing and recovery in every way.
Lord, we ask and pray for a miracle! No weapon formed or forged against us shall prosper, in Jesus’ Name! I pray You protect us…help us…encourage us…prosper us…and bless us with a deeper understanding, loyalty, honor, and love for You. Please keep safe and bless our leaders, families, friends, neighbors, citizens, and all emergency personnel and medical staff. We lift up our president, leaders, governments, and those who are working around the clock to create vaccines and cures…please grant them Your incredible wisdom, discernment, and understanding. Provide all of us with the wisdom to know how to navigate these hard times. Give all of us fresh ideas and creativity for resourcefulness, healing, and restoration. While we are going through tragedy, especially since many are staying home, bless our time with our family and loved ones…help us to use our time wisely and build these important God-given relationships. May we all find true joy in our relationship with You and our families as we get through this trial together…and may we appreciate the simple joys in life. If anyone is alone, I pray You grant them Your perfect Friendship, love, security, and comfort. Especially bless and enrich all of our time with You. Give us new inspiration for growing closer to Your heart. What the enemy meant for evil, we pray You turn it around for good! I specifically pray for people to turn back to You…and I pray for grace and more time. There are so many who do not know You…and some who have fallen away due to grief, heartache, anger/bitterness over an unfair life event, and tough life experiences. Please have mercy on them and give them the extra measure of grace they need to turn to You and turn back to You. Grant us Your blessed assurance, hope, a deep trust in You. and peace during times of uncertainty. If anyone doesn’t know You, I pray You’ll reveal Yourself to them and draw them to Your heart. Give us all the grace to see You work mightily through this pandemic…that we would clearly see You, hear You, and open our heart and lives fully to You…and gratefully give You the credit.
Please do more than we can ask, think, or imagine. Pour Your love, comfort, help, reassurance, supernatural resources and provision, encouragement, HOPE, and peace into each of us, our loved ones, our neighbors, and the world.
Help us to fully love and obey You – and turn our hearts completely toward You.
We love You, thank You, adore You, and ask all of these petitions in Jesus’ Precious Name, Amen.”

❤️~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~❤️

🌴Need peace and assurance?
http://www.peacewithGod.net

🌺Feel free to share with loved ones for hope & encouragement.

⭐️IMPORTANT BIBLE VERSES:
(to claim for you, your family & friends, your city, state, country, and the world):

Matthew‬ ‭18:19-20‬, “Again I say to you, that if two of you agree on earth about anything that they may ask, it shall be done for them by My Father who is in heaven. For where two or three have gathered together in My name, I am there in their midst.”

Exodus‬ ‭22:27‬, “When they cry out to me, I will hear, for I am compassionate.”

Psalm 91:10, “Because you have made the Lord your dwelling place — the Most High, who is my refuge — no evil shall be allowed to befall you, no plague come near your tent.

2 Timothy 1:7, “For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.”

2 Chronicles 7:14, “ If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land.

Psalm 5:11, “But let all who take refuge in you rejoice; let them ever sing for joy, and spread your protection over them, that those who love your name may exult in you.”

Luke 10:19, “Behold, I have given you authority to tread on serpents and scorpions, and over all the power of the enemy, and nothing shall hurt you.”

Psalm 57:1, “Be merciful to me, O God, be merciful to me, for in you my soul takes refuge; in the shadow of your wings I will take refuge, till the storms of destruction pass by.”

Joshua 1:9, “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.

1 Peter 5:6-7, “Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God, so that in due time He may exalt you. Cast all your anxiety on Him, because He cares for you”

Jeremiah‬ ‭29:11-14‬, “For I know the plans that I have for you,’ declares the LORD, ‘plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon Me and come and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. You will seek Me and find Me when you search for Me with all your heart. I will be found by you,’ declares the LORD, ‘and I will restore your fortunes and will gather you from all the nations and from all the places where I have driven you,’ declares the LORD, ‘and I will bring you back to the place from where I sent you into exile.’”

Isaiah 41:10,Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”

Psalms‬ ‭121:1-8‬, “I will lift up my eyes to the mountains; From where shall my help come? My help comes from the LORD, Who made heaven and earth. He will not allow your foot to slip; He who keeps you will not slumber. Behold, He who keeps Israel Will neither slumber nor sleep. The LORD is your keeper; The LORD is your shade on your right hand. The sun will not smite you by day, Nor the moon by night. The LORD will protect you from all evil; He will keep your soul. The LORD will guard your going out and your coming in From this time forth and forever.

Romans 8:28,And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.”

Psalm 4:8,In peace I will both lie down and sleep; for you alone, O Lord, make me dwell in safety.”

Isaiah 54:17, “No weapon that is fashioned against you shall succeed, and you shall confute every tongue that rises against you in judgment. This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord and their vindication from me, declares the Lord.”

Psalm 91:14,Because he holds fast to me in love, I will deliver him; I will protect him, because he knows my name.”

Psalm 18:30,This God – his way is perfect; the word of the Lord proves true; he is a shield for all those who take refuge in him.”

Proverbs 18:10, “The name of the Lord is a strong tower; the righteous man runs into it and is safe.”

Nahum 1:7, “The Lord is good, a stronghold in the day of trouble; he knows those who take refuge in him.”

Psalm 121:7-8, “The Lord will keep you from all evil; he will keep your life. The Lord will keep your going out and your coming in from this time forth and forevermore.”

Psalm 34:7, “The angel of the Lord encamps around those who fear him, and delivers them.”

Psalm 118:8, “It is better to take refuge in the Lord than to trust in man.”

Psalms‬ ‭94:18-19‬, “When I said, “My foot is slipping,” your unfailing love, Lord, supported me. When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought me joy.”

Psalm 91:1, “He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will abide in the shadow of the Almighty.”

Revelation 3:10, “Because you have kept my word about patient endurance, I will keep you from the hour of trial that is coming on the whole world, to try those who dwell on the earth.”

Psalm 16:1, “Preserve me, O God, for in you I take refuge.”

John 10:28-30, “I give them eternal life, and they will never perish, and no one will snatch them out of my hand. My Father, who has given them to me, is greater than all, and no one is able to snatch them out of the Father’s hand. I and the Father are one.”

Genesis‬ ‭50:20-21, “As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good in order to bring about this present result, to preserve many people alive. So therefore, do not be afraid; I will provide for you and your little ones.” So he comforted them and spoke kindly to them.”‬

Psalm 23:4, “Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.”

John 3:16-17, “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him.”

If your community is being encouraged to stay home, consider watching church online. Pastor Rick Warren of Saddleback Church, Pastor Craig Groeschel of Life.Church, Charles Stanley of InTouch Ministries, local pastors in your area, and many other churches are offering services online. It’s a great way to be – and stay – encouraged!

Praying everyone stays well!

©2020 Kim Niles/Grief Bites. All rights reserved.

❤️

⭐️For more encouragement:

❤️Making peace with God: http://peacewithgod.net

❤️Getting Your Breath Back After Life Knocks It Out of You (Kim’s $3.19 book): https://www.christianbook.com/getting-knocks-transparent-journey-seeking-through/k-b-h-niles

❤️Connect on Facebook by “liking” page: http://www.facebook.com/GettingYourBreathBackAfterGrief

❤️Kim’s blog: www.griefbites.com

❤️FREE YouVersion reading plans:

1. Grief Bites: Finding Treasure In Hardships: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/912-grief-bites-finding-treasure-in-hardships

2. Grief Bites: Doubt Revealed: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/954-grief-bites-doubt-revealed

3. Grief Bites: A New Approach To Growing Through Grief https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/862-grief-bites

4. Grief Bites: Hope For The Holidays: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/1964-grief-bites-hope-for-the-holidays

5. Experiencing Holidays With Jesus: Christmas: http://bible.com/r/3V5

6. Experiencing Holidays With Jesus: Happy New Year!: http://bible.com/r/3Zv

7. Valentine’s Day: Experiencing Holidays With Jesus: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/14059-valentines-day-experiencing-holidays-with-jesus

⭐️All content on the Grief Bites blog and website is copyright protected material. Please ask for permission to copy, use, or print. 

⭐️⭐️All content on the Grief Bites blog and website is for encouragement purposes only and is not in any way to be construed as medical, emotional, mental, relational, or psychological advice. We hope to serve as a bridge to encourage others by sharing our personal grief and life experiences. Please contact a qualified healthcare professional, mental health professional, or qualified pastor for guidance and advice.

The Time A Goat Attacked My Son & The Powerful Lesson I Learned

This week, I decided to watch some home videos. Now, I have a plethora of home videos to choose from, due to videoing many family and life events the last few decades.

Experiencing the deaths of multiple family members and friends has taught me to make memories and preserve them through photography and videography.

The home video I randomly chose today was definitely from the vault…it’s over two decades old. It was a video of when my son was pounced on by a goat at Disney World. My son (who is now an adult) was – and still is – an animal lover. This particular day, he was super excited to spend time with the animals at the Affection Section part of Conservation Station at Animal Kingdom.

As soon as we entered the gate, my son got a brush so he could pet, brush, and interact with all of his animal friends. No sooner than he had gotten the brush, a goat pounced my son and then accidentally bit him as this new furry friend tried to eat his shirt.

My son (who was seven years-old at the time), sweetly placed his hand on the goat’s shoulder and said, “Now you quit that, Mr. Goat!”

My son then used the brush in his hand and started combing the hyper goat to calm him down.

My son then said, “Poor lil fella, you must be having a bad day.”

My son taught me a powerful lesson that day. My husband and I had a disagreement earlier that morning…and seeing my son handle conflict the right way sure convicted this mama’s heart.

People in our lives (and we) can be like Mr. Goat: attempt to pounce you and steal your joy…snap at you…be rude…create chaos…be difficult…

…but our response can either add to the chaos…or diffuse it.

The secret is in our character.

My son could’ve chosen to have poor character when that goat pounced him. He could’ve screamed at the goat…could’ve pushed or shoved the goat…could’ve even chosen to do something uncharacteristic by hitting the goat with the brush in his hand…but he chose:

  • gentleness instead of wrath
  • compassion instead of indifference
  • respect (and self-respect) instead of attitude
  • to honor God’s creation instead of mistreating or abusing it
  • discernment instead of quick judgment
  • to forgive, bring peace to the situation, and show kindness

Anytime we are mistreated by a loved one, we, too, have an opportunity to respond the exact same way:

  • Do we choose to use gentle words that heal…or do we blow up and display wrath?
  • Do we choose to look at the entirety of the situation and use compassion…or do we choose to be indifferent to the situation and the other person’s feelings?
  • Do we choose to show respect (showing respect is also evidence we respect our own self)…or do we choose to lack respect and self-control by drenching the other person with attitude or ignoring them?
  • Do we choose to view the person with God’s eyes (as His precious, treasured child/creation)…or do we choose to behave in an abusive way towards those God has entrusted in our life?
  • Do we choose to discern what a loved one is truly feeling or may be going through…or are we quick to judge and discard them?
  • Do we choose to work out the problem and extend forgiveness, peace, and kindness…or do we hold a grudge, speak poorly about them, and look for their flaws, holding it over their head?

By the way: I’m talking to myself here as much as I’m talking to y’all. This is a topic we all need to work on, am I right?🤗

Think of the people you have had conflict with.

How did you handle it?

How did they handle it?

How do you wish you had handled it?

How do you wish they had handled it?

Sometimes, we are the goat. We’re the instigator. We’re the one who is creating chaos or conflict by our own thoughts, actions, words, and deeds. We all think we are the innocent one…but everyone has mistreated loved ones at some point. Dig deep to the root of the conflict and have the courage to genuinely self-reflect. What was their contribution to the conflict? What was your contribution to the conflict? Majority of conflict is not one-sided. We all must look inward and take responsibility for our part. 

Sometimes, we are the one who was hurt or offended. Even though we were wronged, we are still responsible for our part…our reactions…every subsequent thought, action, word, and deed. It’s a good time to reflect on what change is needed by the other person…but it is also an excellent time to do a self-check to see if we’ve done something similar to God, to them, or to another person.

God sums up relationships and life in one simple and ultimate command — Love God, love others.

Mark 12:30-31, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.”

None of us are perfect. None of us will float through life without hurting or offending our loved ones…

…but…

…it is up to us to make things right when we wrong our loved ones…to work things out…to forgive our loved ones when they wound us…and ultimately to obey God by loving Him and others – and treat others how we want to be treated.

When we hurt or offend others, God desires for us to do the right thing – by apologizing and asking for forgiveness…to reconcile. It’s so important to God that He offers this instruction:

Matthew 5:23-24, Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift.

Whatever conflict you are going through (or have ever experienced), take the time to look at it not just with your own eyes and viewpoint, but through God’s and the other person’s eyes and viewpoint. Combining all three perspectives brings balance and resolution to the situation – which can ultimately provide healing.

Just a note: If someone is abusing you – especially things that could put them in jail – seek help from a qualified pastor or professional. In no way am I advocating tolerating, overlooking, or excusing abuse.

Spend some time with God today and sort through the times of conflict you’ve experienced in life. Talk with God about who has hurt or offended you…then talk to God about those you know you have hurt or offended. Next, ask God to reveal to your heart anyone you may have hurt or offended but didn’t realize it. Finally, ask God for wisdom and for Him to guard, guide, and direct you in any steps of forgiveness and reconciliation He may want you to take.

The next time you experience conflict, remember Mr. Goat…and be the mercy today that you’ll hope to receive tomorrow.

Did you know God has a lot to say about conflict – and peace? God promises to bless those who seek to be a peacemaker. Some important verses to read and ponder this week:

Matthew 5:9, Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God.

Matthew 7:12, So whatever you wish that others would do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets.

Romans 12:18, “If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.”

Matthew‬ ‭7:3-5‬,Why do you look at the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ and behold, the log is in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye.”

2 Corinthians 13:11, Finally, brothers, rejoice. Aim for restoration, comfort one another, agree with one another, live in peace; and the God of love and peace will be with you.

Psalm 34:14, Turn away from evil and do good; seek peace and pursue it.

Ephesians 4: 29-32, “Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.

Hebrews 12:14, Strive for peace with everyone, and for the holiness without which no one will see the Lord.

Mark 11:25, And whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father also who is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses.”
Proverbs 16:7, When a man’s ways please the Lord, he makes even his enemies to be at peace with him.
James 1:19-20, Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God.
Hope this post brought encouragement and hope to your heart! May we all seek to be peacemakers in all of our relationships!

Gratitude & many blessings,

Kim

©2020 Kim Niles/Grief Bites. All rights reserved.

🍃

❤️If you were encouraged by this post, please feel free to share it to encourage others!

🍃

⭐️For more encouragement:

🍃

💞Making peace with God: http://peacewithgod.net

🍃

📚Getting Your Breath Back After Life Knocks It Out of You (Kim’s book): Click here for book

🍃

🌸Connect on Facebook by “liking” page: https://www.facebook.com/GettingYourBreathBackAfterGrief

🍃

⭐️Kim’s blog: https://www.griefbites.com

🍃

🌺FREE YouVersion reading plans:

1. Grief Bites: Finding Treasure In Hardships: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/912-grief-bites-finding-treasure-in-hardships

2. Grief Bites: Doubt Revealed: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/954-grief-bites-doubt-revealed

3. Grief Bites: A New Approach To Growing Through Grief https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/862-grief-bites

4. Grief Bites: Hope For The Holidays: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/1964-grief-bites-hope-for-the-holidays

5. Experiencing Holidays With Jesus: Christmas: http://bible.com/r/3V5

6. Experiencing Holidays With Jesus: Happy New Year!: http://bible.com/r/3Zv

7. Valentine’s Day: Experiencing Holidays With Jesus: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/14059-valentines-day-experiencing-holidays-with-jesus

🍃

⭐️All content on the Grief Bites blog and website is copyright protected material. Please ask for permission to copy, use, or print. 

⭐️⭐️All content on the Grief Bites blog and website is for encouragement purposes only and is not in any way to be construed as medical, emotional, mental, relational, or psychological advice. We hope to serve as a bridge to encourage others by sharing our personal grief and life experiences. Please contact a qualified healthcare professional, mental health professional, or qualified pastor for guidance and advice.

How To Build A Hedge Around An Unfaithful Partner

In my grief ministry, there are so many who reach out and desperately need help, encouragement, and hope in the areas of marriage and adultery.

I will be writing a series of blog posts on these topics starting today.

I deeply understand the heartache of marriage issues. I, myself, have been through harrowing, heartbreaking, and stressful times in my own marriage. I hope my (and my husband’s) experiences will truly help others.

We almost lost our marriage in 2008. I remember how excruciatingly painful it was to walk through those very tough days.

I appreciate my husband being willing to give his permission to talk about our marriage…God did an amazing work in our relationship and brought much good out of our pain. My husband rededicated his life to the Lord due to that tough time — and out of that very painful time, we became marriage coaches through our church. We’ve coached dozens of other hurting marriages with the insights we gained through our own experiences in 2008. Due to God’s mercy, grace and goodness, we have a 90% success rate in helping couples to heal their marriages.

Today’s blog post is an excellent resource! I used this information as a starting base to save my own marriage.

If you are going through the painful experience of a disconnected or adulterous spouse, you will certainly appreciate this information.

Stay tuned…I will be writing many blog posts in the upcoming weeks on the topic of marriage — and how to save or greatly enrich a marriage.

Take care and know that with God, there is HOPE! The Lord can do more in a moment than we could ever hope to do in a lifetime. God loves you and He is very faithful!❤️

HOW TO BUILD A HEDGE AROUND AN UNFAITHFUL PARTNER

“I SOUGHT FOR A MAN AMONG THEM THAT SHOULD MAKE UP THE HEDGE…THAT I SHOULD NOT DESTROY…” (EZ.22:30)

A certain man discovered that his wife was secretly seeing another man. She would meet him on business trips and spend long hours after work with him. For months she had neglected her home responsibilities.

He learned about the “hedge of thorns” that he could claim in prayer for his wife, and one day he used it. That evening when he got home from work, his wife was in the kitchen making their first meal in four months!

A wife learned that her husband was spending time with a younger woman. She learned further that he was planning to leave her and marry this younger woman. She was told how to pray for a “hedge of thorns” around her husband. The next evening he received a phone call from the young woman telling him that she wanted to break off their relationship.

The wife of a young pastor left him and began working in a bar. She was planning to marry the barkeeper. The grieving husband learned how to pray for a “hedge of thorns” around his wife, and three days later, his wife called him up and was ready to return home.

These are only a few of the many illustrations which Christians are experiencing as a result of building a “hedge of thorns” or “hedge of protection” around their loved ones. However, there is far more to the story than just praying a certain prayer.

The Scriptural basis for the “hedge of thorns” is found in several passages. First of all, God looks for an intercessor to make up a “hedge” of protection. (Ez.22:30). Job is an example of such a man in the O.T. (Job 1:5-12)

He prayed for God’s protection over his family – including his sons and daughters whom he feared cursed God in their hearts. The result was that God “made an hedge about him, and about his house, and about all that He had on every side”.

By building a “hedge” around an unfaithful partner, his/her “lovers” lose interest and Satan is no more able to take your partner captive “at his will”. Satan must get clearance from God for whatever he does, and his actions become God’s dealings in love. II Timothy 2:25-26; II Corinthians 12:7; Job 1:5-10)

A further illustration of the hedge is found in Hosea. God promised to make a hedge of thorns around Hosea’s adulterous wife so that her lovers would lose interest in her. (Hosea 2:6-7)

After God built a hedge of thorns around Hosea’s unfaithful wife, and her lovers left her, she decided to return to her husband. However, if she was to remain under his authority and protection, there were several things that he had to do. These are listed in Hosea 2:14-16.

The NT counterpart to this truth is illustrated in Christ’s interecession for Peter (Lk.22:31-38) and for his disciples (John 17:12 – the hedge of prayer – none lost but the son of perdition). It is also illustrated in Paul’s prayer for those under his spiritual care.

The basic teaching of Scripture on the hedge is found in II Cor. 10:4-5 “For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strong holds.”

This emphasizes the fact that Satan is able to have powerful holds on our mind, will, and emotions, but that through God we can and must pull them down.

The purpose of “binding Satan” (Matt.12:29) and building a “hedge of protection” around your partner is so that you can proceed “casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ.”

(II Cor.10:5).

There are a number of cases in which a husband or wife build a “hedge of thorns” around an unfaithful partner through prayer, saw the return of that partner, and then failed to follow up on the victory. Soon Satan regained a foothold in that partner’s life. Thus, the following steps are very essential.

1. MAKE SURE THAT YOU ARE A GENUINE CHRISTIAN.

God only hears the prayers of His own children. We become a child of God only through putting our full faith and trust for salvation in the finished work of the Lord Jesus Christ, in dying for us and being raised from the dead.

“Not by works of righteousness which we have done, but according to His mercy He saved us…” (Titus 3:5).

“But God commendeth His love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.” (Romans 5:8)

“If thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved.” (Romans 10:9)

For more information: http://www.peacewithGod.net

2. CLEANSE YOUR LIFE OF ALL SIN

God delighted in building a hedge of protection around Job and all his family and possessions, because Job was “a perfect and an unpright man, one that feareth God, and…(hateth) evil,”(Job 1:8)

We can claim the righteousness of Christ as Christians by confessing our sins and cleansing our mind, life, and home of anything that grieves the Spirit of God and hinders His work in our life. “…Make not provision for the flesh, to fulfill the lusts thereof.” (Romans 13:14)

3. BUILD A “HEDGE OF THORNS” BY PRAYER

The following prayer is an example of building a hedge of thorns around an unfaithful marriage partner:

“Heavenly Father, I ask You in the name and through the blood of the Lord Jesus Christ, to build a “hedge of thorns” around my partner. I pray that through this hedge, any other lover will lose interest and depart. I base this prayer on Your Word which commands that what You have joined together, let not man put asunder.” (Matthew 19:6)

4. RESTORE A SPIRIT OF ONENESS

Follow through on your prayer by getting alone with your partner (…”I will allure her and bring her into the wilderness..”), using gentle, kind, and loving words (“…speak comfortably unto her…”_, committing yourself to your partner’s needs and visualizing hope (“I will give her her vineyards…for a door of hope”), restoring your partner’s happiness (“…and she shall sing there, as in the days of her youth…”), and restoring a spirit of deep friendship (“…thou shalt call me ish (my husband) and shalt call me no more baali (my lord)). (Hosea 2:14-16)

5. CAST DOWN WRONG REASONINGS

In the spirit of friendship and fellowship, cast down false reasonings in the mind of your partner by wisely using God’s Word. Together, bring every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ. (I Cor. 10:4-5)

GOMER

Gomer was the wife of the prophet Hosea.

She was an adulterous wife.

In this account, God gives us a graphic illustration of how the “hedge of thorns” works

Hosea 2:6-16

WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU PUT A “HEDGE OF THORNS” AROUND AN UNFAITHFUL PARTNER?

1. He/she will lose direction.

“…I will hedge up thy way with thorns, and make a wall, that she shall not find her paths.”

2. Any other “lovers” will leave.

“…she shall follow after her lovers, but she shall not overtake them; and she shall seek them, but shall not find them.”

3. Troubles will prompt a return

“…then shall she say, I will go and return to my first husband: for then was it better with me than now.”

Hosea 2:6-16

⭐️A “hedge will be ineffective if you have not resolved all past offenses, or if you do not follow through with Scriptural steps of actions.

THE PRAYER FOR A “HEDGE” INVOLVES THREE PARTS

1. YOUR SPIRITUAL ‘CREDENTIALS’

We are able to approach a holy God through the righteousness of the Lord Jesus Christ. Christ’s death and resurrection have already defeated Satan’s power. “But thanks be to God, which giveth us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.” (I Cor. 15:57)

2. YOUR REQUEST

When we pray, we must be specific; the more precise we are in our prayer, the more able we are to judge its Scriptural basis and the more alert we will be in seeing His answer to it. “…Ye have not, because ye ask not” (James 4:2)

3. YOUR SCRIPTURAL AUTHORITY

Every request must be based on the will of God as revealed in His Word. God’s Word is the sword of the Spirit (Ep.6:17). Christians are able to overcome Satan “..by the blood of the lamb and by the word of their testimony.” (Rev. 12:11).

GOD GIVES FIVE STEPS TO WIN BACK A WAYWARD PARTNER

(Hosea 2:14-16)

1. Allure him/her away from ungodly influences.

2. Speak gently and lovingly.

3. Reestablish responsibility and by it restore hope.

4. Cause him/her to sing for joy.

5. Build an intimate friendship.

From Bill Gothard Ministries

❤️

To all who are praying for God to bring healing and restoration to your marriage and family, I pray God will heal, restore, and bless you, your spouse, your marriage and your family.

Stay tuned: This next month, I will be answering a reader’s questions on adultery…will be sharing very specific, useful, and powerful prayers you can pray for your marriage and family…and will also be sharing incredibly important tips you can use to greatly improve your marriage and family relationships.

Always remember how much God loves you and your precious family! God has BIG plans for you!

Gratitude & many blessings,

Kim

©2021 Kim Niles/Grief Bites. All rights reserved.

❤️If you were encouraged by this post, please feel free to share it to encourage others!

⭐️For more encouragement:

❤️Making peace with God: http://www.peacewithgod.net

❤️Getting Your Breath Back After Life Knocks It Out of You (Kim’s $3.19 book): https://www.christianbook.com/getting-knocks-transparent-journey-seeking-through/k-b-h-niles/

❤️Connect on Facebook by “liking” page: https://www.facebook.com/GettingYourBreathBackAfterGrief

❤️Kim’s blog: https://www.griefbites.com

❤️FREE YouVersion reading plans:

1. Grief Bites: Finding Treasure In Hardships: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/912-grief-bites-finding-treasure-in-hardships

2. Grief Bites: Doubt Revealed: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/954-grief-bites-doubt-revealed

3. Grief Bites: A New Approach To Growing Through Grief https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/862-grief-bites

4. Grief Bites: Hope For The Holidays: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/1964-grief-bites-hope-for-the-holidays

5. Experiencing Holidays With Jesus: Christmas: http://bible.com/r/3V5

6. Experiencing Holidays With Jesus: Happy New Year!: http://bible.com/r/3Zv

7. Valentine’s Day: Experiencing Holidays With Jesus: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/14059-valentines-day-experiencing-holidays-with-jesus

⭐️All content on the Grief Bites blog and website is copyright protected material. Please ask for permission to copy, use, or print.

⭐️⭐️All content on the Grief Bites blog and website is for encouragement purposes only and is not in any way to be construed as medical, emotional, mental, relational, or psychological advice. We hope to serve as a bridge to encourage others by sharing our personal grief and life experiences. Please contact a qualified healthcare professional, mental health professional, or qualified pastor for guidance and advice.

🎄Christmas Countdown ~ December 7🎄

🎄❤️🎄Good morning!
Today, we’re on Day 7 of our Christmas Countdown. Each day in December, I’ll be posting from one of our YouVersion Christmas plans. Hope all of you have a blessed week!

🎄🦌🎄❤️🎄🦌🎄 Day 7🎄🦌🎄❤️🎄🦌🎄

Christmas is such a fun, amazing time! But due to grief, family/marital issues, financial pressures, or challenging life events, Christmas can be an extremely sad or stressful time, too.

I love Jesus for so many reasons, but one of my favorite attributes of His is that He is truly a Wonderful Counselor.

When I go through tough life events, conflict, heartache, stress, or grief, I know without a doubt He is there for me.

If you’re going through a tough situation or a heartbreaking event in life…or you have some past issues you’ve never fully resolved or dealt with…Jesus is here for you, too.

He sees what you are going through.

He deeply cares about your heart.

He truly understands.

When we struggle with life challenges, or even temptation or sin, God truly cares and empathizes with us. He holds the power to help us overcome anything we’re facing.

If you’re experiencing a hardened heart due to heartbreaking or challenging events, Jesus genuinely cares about you! He is willing to heal your heart: – the Bible says even to the point of taking away a heart of stone and replacing it with a new heart that is soft and moldable by Him.

We have a Wonderful Counselor who is caring, loving, kind, and on our side – and He is a genius at healing hearts and lives.

Place your heart and life (and your loved ones’ hearts and lives) in His more than capable hands. He can do more in a moment than we could ever hope to do in an entire lifetime.
He is truly the Wonderful Counselor who genuinely loves and cares about you and your loved ones — completely!

If you are going through a tough situation or a tough time in life, God genuinely cares. There is nobody on earth we can better seek for the love, encouragement, and help we need…God truly is there for us 24/7.

🙏🏻Pray: “Jesus, I thank You so much for caring not just about my spirit, but also about my heart, mind, will, emotions, and wellness. Please help me to be completely honest with You and myself, so I can be healed and have a vibrant and right relationship with You at all times. Reveal anything in my heart and life that is displeasing to You, and please reveal to me any area of my life that is holding me back from fully experiencing the best relationship I can have with You. I thank You for being my Wonderful Counselor, the absolute Lover of my soul! Your extravagant love and care is priceless! Please be here for me throughout this Christmas season…and for the rest of my life. I love you so much, Jesus! In Your great Name I pray, Amen!”

⭐️Activity: Today, take some time to get totally real with Jesus. Don’t hold anything back! Fully pour your heart out to Jesus. He literally bends down from Heaven to hear your prayers – all of your joys, concerns, good happenings, life challenges, struggles, hopes, dreams, and heart’s cries. Jesus is more than willing to bless you with a brand new heart and a brand new spirit, too. All you have to do is ask. He deeply loves you and cares for you. Never forget that!

❤️Read: Isaiah 9:6, Psalms 116:2, Ezekiel 36:26, Psalms 56:8, Hebrews 4:15

This devotional © 2018 by Kim Niles/Grief Bites. All rights reserved. Used by permission.

🦌🎄❤️🦌🎄❤️🦌🎄❤️🦌🎄❤️🦌🎄❤️🦌🎄❤️🦌🎄❤️

©2020 Kim Niles/Grief Bites. All rights reserved.

❤️If you were encouraged by this post, please feel free to share it to encourage others!

⭐️For more encouragement:

❤️Making peace with God: http://www.peacewithgod.net

❤️Getting Your Breath Back After Life Knocks It Out of You (Kim’s book): https://www.christianbook.com/getting-knocks-transparent-journey-seeking-through/k-b-h-niles/

❤️Connect on Facebook by “liking” page: https://www.facebook.com/GettingYourBreathBackAfterGrief

❤️Kim’s blog: https://www.griefbites.com

❤️FREE YouVersion reading plans:

1. Grief Bites: Finding Treasure In Hardships: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/912-grief-bites-finding-treasure-in-hardships

2. Grief Bites: Doubt Revealed: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/954-grief-bites-doubt-revealed

3. Grief Bites: A New Approach To Growing Through Grief https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/862-grief-bites

4. Grief Bites: Hope For The Holidays: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/1964-grief-bites-hope-for-the-holidays

5. Experiencing Holidays With Jesus: Christmas: http://bible.com/r/3V5

6. Experiencing Holidays With Jesus: Happy New Year!: http://bible.com/r/3Zv

7. Valentine’s Day: Experiencing Holidays With Jesus: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/14059-valentines-day-experiencing-holidays-with-jesus

⭐️All content on the Grief Bites blog and website is copyright protected material. Please ask for permission to copy, use, or print.

⭐️⭐️All content on the Grief Bites blog and website is for encouragement purposes only and is not in any way to be construed as medical, emotional, mental, relational, or psychological advice. We hope to serve as a bridge to encourage others by sharing our personal grief and life experiences. Please contact a qualified healthcare professional, mental health professional, or qualified pastor for guidance and advice.

🎄Christmas Countdown ~ December 3🎄

🎄❤️🎄Here’s Day 3 of our Christmas Countdown. Day 3’s Countdown shares how incredibly special and important you are! Never forget your value!❤️

(For those who didn’t see Day 1 & Day 2: each day, I’ll be posting from one of our YouVersion Christmas reading plans each day throughout December. I hope this helps each of you to feel less discouraged or alone…especially with the pandemic…and like you have a friend encouraging your heart during this very tough time of year.)

🎄🦌🎄 Day 3🎄🦌🎄

I love all of the symbols of Christmas – and one of my most favorites is a star.

When I was about five years-old, after my dad died, and we had moved into a new home, my mom took me out on a cold night during Christmastime, sat me on her knee, and showed me the constellations. She taught me the Big Dipper, the Little Dipper, and all of the other stars.

Coming from a large family, I felt so special! How my mom took just me outside to teach me about God and His great majesty was a very special treat!

As she taught me about all of the stars and creation, she shared with me how God‘s thoughts of me were more numerous than all of the sand on the beach and more numerous than all of the stars up in the sky.

I will never forget that special night so many years ago. It made a great impression on my heart and allowed me to see God’s majesty and who He truly is – especially later on in life.

Did you know you are so precious to God that His thoughts of you are more numerous than all of the sand and stars in the world? He is so invested in you that He knows exactly how many hairs are on your head.

God created you so intricately and exquisitely that He gave you great gifts such as your specific personality, as well as specialized goals and dreams, likes and dislikes, and a very specific life purpose.

As you spend time with Jesus today or tonight, ask Him to reveal your life purpose to you. No one on earth can do your purpose except for you…you are that amazingly important, precious, exquisitely created, and special!

Every time you see a star in the sky, or a star Christmas decoration, I pray you will remember how much Jesus loves you! Let each star you see be a reminder to seek Him with all of your heart!

❤️Prayer: “Jesus, I want to thank You so much for giving me a life purpose that You planned for me — before I even breathed one breath. Thank You for creating me so specially and so specifically so I can serve You with all of the gifts You have given me. I pray I would use my personality, gifts, talents, and skills for You, Your glory, and Your purpose for me. I adore You, Jesus, and love You so very much! Please be with me every moment of my life and this Christmas season. In Your name I pray, Amen!”

Read: Matthew 10:29-31, Matthew 2:10, Psalms 8:3-4, Psalms 139:17-18

⭐️Activity #1: bake star shaped Christmas cookies and ask Jesus who He’d like you to bless or encourage by giving the cookies to them. Be sure to share some cookies with your family and friends, and also share the Christmas story of the most important star – and how God‘s thoughts of them are more numerous than all of the sand on a beach and all of the the stars in the sky.

⭐️Activity #2: ask Jesus to reveal to you His life purpose for you. Some good books on this topic are, ‘The Purpose Driven Life’ by Rick Warren and ‘Chazown‘ by Craig Groeschel. Both are excellent for discovering your life purpose!

⭐️Activity #3: if you have little people in your life (children, nieces, nephews, grandkiddos), teach them how to recognize the Big Dipper and Little Dipper and share with them how much God loves them!

Check out Pastor Rick Warren: https://www.purposedriven.com and Life.Church Pastor Craig Groeschel: https://www.craiggroeschel.com/books/chazown for more details to help you find your life purpose.

This YouVersion devotional © 2018 by Kim Niles/Grief Bites. All rights reserved. Used by permission.

Wishing everyone a very blessed and Merry Christmas season!

©2020 Kim Niles/Grief Bites. All rights reserved.

🦌🎄❤️🦌🎄❤️🦌🎄❤️🦌🎄❤️🦌🎄❤️🦌🎄❤️🦌🎄❤️

❤️If you were encouraged by this post, please feel free to share it to encourage others!

⭐️For more encouragement:

❤️Making peace with God: http://www.peacewithgod.net

❤️Getting Your Breath Back After Life Knocks It Out of You (Kim’s $3.19 book): https://www.christianbook.com/getting-knocks-transparent-journey-seeking-through/k-b-h-niles/

❤️Connect on Facebook by “liking” page: https://www.facebook.com/GettingYourBreathBackAfterGrief

❤️Kim’s blog: https://www.griefbites.com

❤️FREE YouVersion reading plans:

1. Grief Bites: Finding Treasure In Hardships: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/912-grief-bites-finding-treasure-in-hardships

2. Grief Bites: Doubt Revealed: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/954-grief-bites-doubt-revealed

3. Grief Bites: A New Approach To Growing Through Grief https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/862-grief-bites

4. Grief Bites: Hope For The Holidays: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/1964-grief-bites-hope-for-the-holidays

5. Experiencing Holidays With Jesus: Christmas: http://bible.com/r/3V5

6. Experiencing Holidays With Jesus: Happy New Year!: http://bible.com/r/3Zv

7. Valentine’s Day: Experiencing Holidays With Jesus: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/14059-valentines-day-experiencing-holidays-with-jesus

⭐️All content on the Grief Bites blog and website is copyright protected material. Please ask for permission to copy, use, or print.

⭐️⭐️All content on the Grief Bites blog and website is for encouragement purposes only and is not in any way to be construed as medical, emotional, mental, relational, or psychological advice. We hope to serve as a bridge to encourage others by sharing our personal grief and life experiences. Please contact a qualified healthcare professional, mental health professional, or qualified pastor for guidance and advice.

❤️

🎄Christmas Countdown ~ December 2 🎄

Today, we’re on Day 2 of our Christmas Countdown.

Today’s countdown is very meaningful to me personally…it shares how God captured my heart. I hope you’ll allow God to truly capture your heart this Christmas season. He is SO worth it!

🎄🦌🎄 Day 2 🎄🦌🎄

Yesterday (Day 1), I recommended the activity of getting a Christmas tree. Today’s devotional shares how Jesus transformed my life using a simple, lit Christmas tree my mom left on one evening, many Christmases ago.

I  remember the year when God turned all of my Christmases around. I wasn’t yet a Christian, but God had been working on my heart for months. It was a Saturday night, and I had just arrived home late from spending time with my friends. 

As I went to the kitchen to get a glass of milk before bed, I noticed my mom had left the Christmas tree on for me (she didn’t like my siblings and me coming home to a dark house).

I went into the living room and put a cassette tape on to play (remember those?). The week before, a classmate had cared enough to give me a specific cassette to listen to. It was Margaret Becker’s ‘Immigrant Daughter.’

As I sat in the dark with just the Christmas tree aglow, these beautiful lyrics started playing…and began to stir and convict my heart. At that time, I had some things in my life I knew God and my parents were not proud of…yet God reached down from Heaven and loved my heart – right where I was – in the most extravagant way that very night.

My heart was being pursued by God as He was in the process of fully capturing it. Jesus was planting seeds of salvation deep in my heart that would fully bloom a few short months later.

Sitting by the Christmas tree and talking to God was so enjoyable and captivating, I decided to do this every night of the Christmas season that year. As I’d sit in the living room each night (after everyone else had gone to bed) and listen to either Margaret Becker or soft Christmas music, I’d enjoy talking to God about my day and life.

How cool and amazing is it that God seeks out our heart and meets us right where we are?

He sees all of the good –as well as the not-so-good – and still seeks to have the most incredible, intimate, and special relationship with us?

I don’t know where you are at today, or what you are going through in life, but I do know there is a God who deeply loves you and cherishes you! He is pursuing your heart right now and treasures you so much!

God greatly desires to spend time with you each and every day. Time spent with Jesus will always be the best time you spend during the Christmas season – and the best time spent every single day of the year!

Have you decorated your Christmas tree yet? It could be a table top tree or the largest tree ever. The tree doesn’t matter…what matters is spending time with Jesus. Even if you don’t have a tree, Jesus is still waiting for you!

I absolutely love turning all of the lights out each night and sitting by the Christmas tree, with soft music playing, and spending time with my very Best Friend in the entire world, the One who loves my soul. 

I think you’ll find this is a very special time and meaningful tradition!

Make a commitment to spend time with Jesus each and every night. You’ll greatly enjoy this precious time throughout the Christmas season.

I love and treasure this special time so much that I decorate my tree early November (yes, I’m one of those people!) and keep my tree up until the end of January. I have found spending my full Christmas season with Jesus to be so meaningful and relaxing, and it has greatly deepened my relationship with Him!

No matter what has happened in life…no matter what you’ve done in life…Jesus loves you and He is FOR you! He treasures you and wants to walk with you – not just during the Christmas season, but every day for the rest of your life!

Share your heart with Jesus starting tonight! (And be sure to turn off your tree each evening).🎄❤️🎄

💗Prayer: “Jesus, thank You so much for Your extravagant love! When I think about the great miracle of You, my heart is so very grateful. Thank You for never giving up on us, and planting seeds of love, purpose, and salvation in our hearts so we can walk with You every day of our life. Jesus, I invite you into my heart and life and ask You to forgive me for all of my sins. Jesus, I believe You are Lord, and I believe and thank you for being born of a virgin birth and being raised from the dead. Please save me and guide me. Thank you so much for this beautiful miracle and this Christmas season – and especially for the incredible gift of You. You are the Greatest Gift and I look forward to unwrapping Your heart each and every day! We love you, Lord! In Your precious name I pray, Amen!”

⭐️Activity: listen to Margaret Becker’s album ‘Immigrant’s Daughter’ (or any other music that is meaningful to you) and ask Jesus to open your heart to the lyrics. I especially like the songs ‘Honesty,’ ‘Just Come In,’ and ‘Stay Close To Me.’ The lyrics will truly bring you to the very heart of God.

🎄Read: Romans 10:9, 1 Timothy 1:15-17, Romans 6:23, Titus 3:3-7

This devotional © 2018 by Kim Niles/Grief Bites. All rights reserved. Used by permission.

©2020 Kim Niles/Grief Bites. All rights reserved.

❤️If you were encouraged by this post, please feel free to share it to encourage others!

⭐️For more encouragement:

❤️Making peace with God: http://www.peacewithgod.net

❤️Getting Your Breath Back After Life Knocks It Out of You (Kim’s book): https://www.christianbook.com/getting-knocks-transparent-journey-seeking-through/k-b-h-niles/

❤️Connect on Facebook by “liking” page: https://www.facebook.com/GettingYourBreathBackAfterGrief

❤️Kim’s blog: https://www.griefbites.com

❤️FREE YouVersion reading plans:

1. Grief Bites: Finding Treasure In Hardships: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/912-grief-bites-finding-treasure-in-hardships

2. Grief Bites: Doubt Revealed: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/954-grief-bites-doubt-revealed

3. Grief Bites: A New Approach To Growing Through Grief https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/862-grief-bites

4. Grief Bites: Hope For The Holidays: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/1964-grief-bites-hope-for-the-holidays

5. Experiencing Holidays With Jesus: Christmas: http://bible.com/r/3V5

6. Experiencing Holidays With Jesus: Happy New Year!: http://bible.com/r/3Zv

7. Valentine’s Day: Experiencing Holidays With Jesus: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/14059-valentines-day-experiencing-holidays-with-jesus

⭐️All content on the Grief Bites blog and website is copyright protected material. Please ask for permission to copy, use, or print.

⭐️⭐️All content on the Grief Bites blog and website is for encouragement purposes only and is not in any way to be construed as medical, emotional, mental, relational, or psychological advice. We hope to serve as a bridge to encourage others by sharing our personal grief and life experiences. Please contact a qualified healthcare professional, mental health professional, or qualified pastor for guidance and advice.

A Good Reminder For The Holidays…

🎄❤️🎄Grief is difficult…and this time of year can be excruciatingly painful.

Intense sadness. Expectations – from others and of ourselves. Trying to navigate through grief as we try to redeem the holidays. It can all be overwhelming.

Take a moment – or several – throughout the day and just breathe.

Pray. God is a STRONG refuge & TRUE Friend.

Be kind to your heart.

Be so very good to others.

When you’re around family who aren’t acting like the gift they are – remember everybody needs love, acceptance, and kindness…us and them.

Love, care, and seek to be a blessing to others.

Remember and honor your treasured loved one(s) who you miss so very much.

Make a great cup of coffee or tea, put on some soft music, get cozy, and just relax.

If you need a good cry, let it out. It’s totally okay to grieve deeply.

Pamper your heart and soul by doing something peaceful and calming.

Enjoy a good meal with loved ones.

Eat some ice cream or a baked good…something to cheer your heart. I’ve never seen anyone sad while eating either.

Feed your spirit by feasting on the Word of God.

Put your pajamas on, wrap up in a warm blanket, and watch a Christmas movie or home videos.

Light your Christmas tree, turn on some soft Christmas music, and share your day with Jesus. I have found this to be the best way to end my day throughout the season.

If there is a special family member who has been there for you, thank them and share with them you need extra love, encouragement, and support over the holidays. We all need trusted family members and friends throughout grief.

I’m praying for all of you and your families!

Lift the burden of getting through the holidays with the help of our Heavenly Father who loves and adores each of us so much.

You matter. Your heartache matters. And God truly cares.

May each of you have a peaceful & beautiful holiday season!🎄❤️🎄

©2019 Kim Niles/Grief Bites. All rights reserved.

❤️If you were encouraged by this post, please feel free to share it to encourage others!

⭐️For more encouragement:

❤️Making peace with God: http://peacewithgod.net

❤️Getting Your Breath Back After Life Knocks It Out of You (Kim’s book):  Click here for book

❤️Connect on Facebook by “liking” page: http://www.facebook.com/GettingYourBreathBackAfterGrief

❤️Kim’s blog: http://www.griefbites.com

❤️FREE YouVersion reading plans:

1. Grief Bites: Finding Treasure In Hardships: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/912-grief-bites-finding-treasure-in-hardships

2. Grief Bites: Doubt Revealed: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/954-grief-bites-doubt-revealed

3. Grief Bites: A New Approach To Growing Through Grief https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/862-grief-bites

4. Grief Bites: Hope For The Holidays: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/1964-grief-bites-hope-for-the-holidays

5. Experiencing Holidays With Jesus: Christmas: http://bible.com/r/3V5

6. Experiencing Holidays With Jesus: Happy New Year!: http://bible.com/r/3Zv

7. Valentine’s Day: Experiencing Holidays With Jesus: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/14059-valentines-day-experiencing-holidays-with-jesus

⭐️All content on the Grief Bites blog and website is copyright protected material. Please ask for permission to copy, use, or print. 

⭐️⭐️All content on the Grief Bites blog and website is for encouragement purposes only and is not in any way to be construed as medical, emotional, mental, relational, or psychological advice. We hope to serve as a bridge to encourage others by sharing our personal grief and life experiences. Please contact a qualified healthcare professional, mental health professional, or qualified pastor for guidance and advice.

🎄❤️🎄

Trustworthy

I absolutely love learning.

Ever since I was a child, I have enjoyed reading, finding out why things are the way they are, and I’ve always had a strong curiosity for learning about new topics.

One of my favorite ways of learning is in a group setting, and today was one of those days of learning through the eyes of others.

Once a week, I get together with my Bible study friends (well, today it was all of us meeting over the Internet via video due to the pandemic). Social distancing at its finest.

We are doing a study together (from Lysa TerKeurst) called Trustworthy: Overcoming Our Greatest Struggles To Trust God.

I’ve done several studies from Lysa before… This one just might be my favorite. It is that good!

As my friends and I were discussing what we were learning through the study, I soaked in all they were sharing, and thought of a couple of things from the study that I think are just so excellent.

A few important takeaways God showed me today:

  • No matter what we go through in life, God genuinely loves us and cares. There is no truer friend and nobody who loves us more than Jesus. He will walk through the hard paths in life with us and redeem these tough situations.
  • If you’re ever wondering how life got to be the way it is… Look at the consequences you’re going through in life. Too many times, we blame God…but if we look at and follow where the consequences originated from, we many times can clearly see where we or others have failed to obey or trust God. Not all the time..but sometimes. In those times where we see that the consequences originated with us or others, it’s a good opportunity to get right with God…and to forgive others. These tough times do not need to define us. Instead of these struggles defining us or continually harming our heart, it is so much better to allow the consequences to refine us and draw each of us back to God’s heart. He’s the one who loves us and can make good things out of bad decisions — Our decisions or someone else’s poor decisions that have deeply affected us.
  • Everyone knows we are not supposed to commit idolatry — But do we really think about what idols we have in our lives? And I mean really, really think about it. I like how Lysa said idolatry is thinking more of ourselves or others than we think of God. That would also include: do we care more about our own feelings or other’s feelings more than what we care about God’s thoughts and feelings? 🙋🏼‍♀️Anyone other than me guilty? I am beyond guilty of this! I don’t plan for it to be like this…but left unchecked, idolatry is easy. A few years ago I did a study from Kyle Idleman called God’s at War. It was a heart-wrenching, soul-sucking, extremely thought-provoking study. I am so thankful I did that study. We all think we don’t have idols… Until we really truly think about it. Both of these studies have challenged me greatly to be honest about what idols I hold in my heart. I recommend both studies for anyone who wants to greatly improve their spiritual life.
  • When we go through hard things in life, it’s so easy to pray, “God, please just have this situation change or end quickly.” I think we have all prayed something like that…probably several times. I know I have. Maybe that’s not the prayer we should ultimately be praying. Perhaps we need to first pray for God to work in a far more reaching way – where we consider the ultimate eternal value of the situation instead of our present comfort. Hard to do, I know. I like comfy-cozy comfort as much as anybody. Sometimes the struggle is real… And we are really done with the struggle. I get it. But are we short changing ourselves when we choose: comfort over God‘s purpose…or worry over trusting God…or trying to manipulate God into doing what we want instead of submitting?

I’m only on page 90 of Trustworthy’s 222 page workbook, so I’m super excited to go through the rest of this study. What I love about Lysa TerKeurst’s style of writing and teaching is how incredibly relatable and encouraging she is. She has a special way of bringing us to the feet of Jesus. She brings us to a place of hope instead of condemnation. I just love her!

I’d also like to add… This study is absolutely perfect for going through this pandemic. So much of what I’ve read in this study is exactly what my heart needed. We are in such a crazy time right now. It’s totally cool how my friend (and Bible study leader) chose this study right before the pandemic broke out.

What areas are you struggling in? What situations are you having a difficult time trusting God? For what situations do you need to seek out godly counsel? When and where have you failed to trust God most? Is there something in your life that you “want what you want” instead of trusting God? Who and what are you putting before God? What areas are hardest to fully submit to God and trust Him? What idols need to be put in their proper place so God can be exalted to His proper place? What situations are hurting your heart the most — where there is pain, God always has a purpose.

Now, go back to the questions I just wrote and really think about each question. Allow the questions to truly transform your heart. God loves you so much…you are so precious to Him…allow Him to refine your life so you can truly give Him your whole heart!

At the end of the video Bible study conference I was a part of today, I told my friends, “I need to get alone with God and talk with Him about so many of these topics.” The questions I asked above? These are questions I asked my own heart today, too. That’s the best thing about being quarantined… We finally all have time to look deep within our heart to see what the contents are. We actually have time to not be in a fast-paced society. We truly can get alone with God and do some spring cleaning of not just our homes…we can do some much needed spring cleaning of our hearts as well.

There’s no better time to read and learn from God than today. Draw close to Him during this time. Ask God to do a purifying work in your heart…ask Him to repair and heal your heart and the hearts of your loved ones. Definitely also ask God to heal and repair all of the damage that this pandemic has done… But let’s also not forget to ask God to repair and heal the damage of every single heart and soul in the world, as well.

God is always good. Even when the world is falling apart around us — especially when the world is falling apart around us. Let’s seek God’s heart today and learn as much as we can through His Word. Psalm 91 is a great place to start.

I pray you and your loved ones are safe and well. May we all seek God, love Him, and bless His heart this week as we draw close to Him.

God is trustworthy!

Gratitude, healing, HOPE, prayers, & many blessings,

Kim

©2020 Kim Niles/Grief Bites. All rights reserved.

❤️If you were encouraged by this post, please feel free to share it to encourage others!

⭐️For more encouragement:

❤️Making peace with God: http://peacewithgod.net

❤️Getting Your Breath Back After Life Knocks It Out of You (Kim’s book): https://www.christianbook.com/getting-knocks-transparent-journey-seeking-through/k-b-h-niles/

❤️Connect on Facebook by “liking” page: https://www.facebook.com/GettingYourBreathBackAfterGrief

❤️Kim’s blog: https://www.griefbites.com

❤️FREE YouVersion reading plans:

1. Grief Bites: Finding Treasure In Hardships: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/912-grief-bites-finding-treasure-in-hardships

2. Grief Bites: Doubt Revealed: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/954-grief-bites-doubt-revealed

3. Grief Bites: A New Approach To Growing Through Grief https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/862-grief-bites

4. Grief Bites: Hope For The Holidays: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/1964-grief-bites-hope-for-the-holidays

5. Experiencing Holidays With Jesus: Christmas: http://bible.com/r/3V5

6. Experiencing Holidays With Jesus: Happy New Year!: http://bible.com/r/3Zv

7. Valentine’s Day: Experiencing Holidays With Jesus: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/14059-valentines-day-experiencing-holidays-with-jesus

⭐️All content on the Grief Bites blog and website is copyright protected material. Please ask for permission to copy, use, or print. 

⭐️⭐️All content on the Grief Bites blog and website is for encouragement purposes only and is not in any way to be construed as medical, emotional, mental, relational, or psychological advice. We hope to serve as a bridge to encourage others by sharing our personal grief and life experiences. Please contact a qualified healthcare professional, mental health professional, or qualified pastor for guidance and advice.