An Important Thing To Remember During Grief

Aug16

Grief is such an incredibly hard experience to go through. When a person loses a much treasured loved one, it can feel as though they lost their entire world.

Grief can bring a lot of surprises – I’ll be writing a blog post on this later – and one of those surprises is extreme stress on relationships.

This blog post will hopefully prevent damage to relationships — whether it’s between spouses, parent/child, family relationships, or friendships.

The topic is grief – specifically allowing each other to grieve in our/their own unique way. Just as we each have our own individual fingerprint and DNA…grieving is no different. No two people will grieve exactly the same.

When grieving as a family, it’s very important to remember each person will grieve in their own unique way, too.

Some will cry; some may not.

Some will desire to have a support system; others may wish to grieve primarily alone.

Some may enjoy reminiscing or looking at photos/home videos; others may presently find this to be far too painful.

Some may want to talk about their loved one; others may require time to be able to do that.

Allow each person to grieve in the way that best soothes their heart.

Accept family members for where they are in their grief process.

The most important thing is to openly communicate with one other, as you respect and care about each other’s hearts and needs.

Never make a loved one feel alone. Be there for one another and use this heartbreaking time to grow closer together. Empathy is key…each family member putting themselves in each other’s “shoes” — and caring about each other in the way they each need.

The enemy tries to tear loved ones apart during grief. Don’t fall for that Be there for one another. Too many get tied up into the folly of thinking loved ones should grieve exactly like them. Frustration and hurt…even eventually bitterness…can form when we assume or expect others to grieve in the same or similar way we do.

Grief is excruciatingly hard work. It is so unique and individual…totally not a cookie-cutter experience. Each person will need to ponder how to best walk through their journey…while also encouraging, loving, and supporting their loved ones who are also navigating grief.

Think of it this way: if you and your family members were all of a sudden dropped from a helicopter into uncharted territory, you’d stick together. It’s what would be best for survival. But…each person would have a different role. Same situation. Different emotions, perception, thoughts, ideas, and experience. Sometimes, you’ll go off individually to gather perhaps wood…food…water…but you come back together to help each other and best survive. Sometimes, discussions are needed; sometimes solitude. Sometimes, just support and encouragement are needed. Be empathetic, kind, thoughtful, and caring towards each other…and look for ways to help each other survive.

A good rule of thumb is this: As long as someone isn’t hurting God’s heart, a loved one’s heart, or their own heart/self…their grief is totally appropriate.

When you’re feeling heartbroken or stressed during grief, going to God to talk and share your heart and thoughts is vital, too. He already knows all of the details of the grief event…all that you are going through…all of the thoughts, emotions, conflicts, needs, worries, and struggles…and He loves and cares about us so very much. God is there 24/7…He is the best healer of our hurts and hearts. God already has a plan for how He will not only help us to survive…but to gain out of the heartache. God is the ultimate GPS when we land in the unchartered territory of grief.

Grief is a much easier burden to carry when shared with God, the people we love, and the people who love us best. Some may need to pour their heart out as they process their grief. For some, no words are necessary…in fact, they prefer not to talk about it much until they can come to terms with their heartache.

Tears – and hugs – are also a complete sentence and explanation when we choose to simply be there for one another.

Whatever is most comfortable, just let each other “breathe” and let one another know that you care about each other…that you’re there for each other during this incredibly hard time…and that you support one another’s individual grieving style.

You’ll make it through this…together.

❤️⭐️❤️⭐️❤️

❤️If you were encouraged by this post, please feel free to share it to encourage others!

⭐️For more encouragement:

❤️Making peace with God: http://www.peacewithgod.net

❤️Getting Your Breath Back After Life Knocks It Out of You (Kim’s book):

•$3.19 eBook: https://tinyurl.com/CB-ebook-version

•Barnes & Noble: https://tinyurl.com/Barnes-and-Noble-book

•Amazon Books: https://tinyurl.com/y9svptsa

•Walmart: https://tinyurl.com/yckuuohr

❤️Connect on Facebook by “liking” page: https://www.facebook.com/GettingYourBreathBackAfterGrief

❤️Kim’s blog: https://www.griefbites.com

❤️FREE YouVersion reading plans:

1. Grief Bites: Finding Treasure In Hardships: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/912-grief-bites-finding-treasure-in-hardships

2. Grief Bites: Doubt Revealed: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/954-grief-bites-doubt-revealed

3. Grief Bites: A New Approach To Growing Through Grief https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/862-grief-bites

4. Grief Bites: Hope For The Holidays: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/1964-grief-bites-hope-for-the-holidays

5. Experiencing Holidays With Jesus: Christmas: http://bible.com/r/3V5

6. Experiencing Holidays With Jesus: Happy New Year!: http://bible.com/r/3Zv

7. Valentine’s Day: Experiencing Holidays With Jesus: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/14059-valentines-day-experiencing-holidays-with-jesus

⭐️All content on the Grief Bites blog and website is copyright protected material. Please ask for permission to copy, use, or print.

⭐️⭐️All content on the Grief Bites blog and website is for encouragement purposes only and is not in any way to be construed as medical, emotional, mental, relational, or psychological advice. We hope to serve as a bridge to encourage others by sharing our personal grief and life experiences. Please contact a qualified healthcare professional, mental health professional, or qualified pastor for guidance and advice.

What To Do In Tough Situations When You’ve Done All You Can

Jun30

Tough situations can be so very hard to get through – and who isn’t currently going through a tough situation?

The process can be daunting…even ruthless.

You do what you think is best…you pray like crazy…you cry many tears…you do everything you possibly can.

When going through grief, trials, or a tough situation, we can feel a pull to fix things…to try to help God (if we’re really being honest, to try to get God to do the outcome WE think is best).

Then after praying, crying, waiting, and trying to fix things in your own efforts, you can even feel like giving up after going through a tough situation for awhile.

I’ve been there…and it’s not a fun place to be.

Please don’t give up…God’s got a much better plan.

I’ve learned the hard way that after I’ve invested my responsibility of doing what’s right in a situation…sometimes God wants me to get out of the way.

God wants MY hands off and out of a situation so He can use HIS own hands (and timing and way) to fix a situation – so HIS best purpose prevails and HE receives the rightful glory.

As long as we keep our hands in a situation, God will allow us to do just that. He lovingly and patiently waits for us to come to the end of ourselves so we will submit to His Will.

Remember: God’s thoughts and ways are NOT our natural thoughts and ways…so trusting & obeying God is vital.

God’s thoughts, ways, and Will are PERFECT…in fact, God’s thoughts, ways, and Perfect Will are EXACTLY what we’d all want if we knew ALL the facts.

It’s truly best to obey God and leave things in His more than capable hands. He can do more in a moment than we could ever hope to do in a lifetime.

As we love, trust, and obey God, we find how good and faithful He truly is.

One of the hardest things to do is to, “Be still and know that He is God”…but when we trust and leave the outcome to Him, He does more than we can ask, think, or imagine.

In what situation is God asking you to cease striving and completely trust in Him today?

Dedicate your toughest situations to God as you continue doing your God-given responsibilities, and trust Him with the outcome.

God’s best work doesn’t need our help.

God loves us…cares for us…deeply cares about our every situation…and can work all things together for our (and our loved ones) good as we love Him and allow Him to work out the purpose He knows is best.

Today, spend some time with God.

Get right with Him.

Ask Him what His Will is.

Dedicate and entrust your hard situation to Him.

Submit to God and His plans.

Love Him extravagantly as you wait.

NEVER stop trusting or believing in God’s goodness.

God loves you and He’s got this!❤️

“God is our refuge and strength, A very present help in trouble…Cease striving and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.”
‭‭Psalms‬ ‭46:1,10‬

“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”
‭‭Romans‬ ‭8:28‬

“Be still, and know that I am God.”
Psalm 46:10

❤️If you were encouraged by this post, please feel free to share it to encourage others!

⭐️For more encouragement:

❤️Making peace with God: http://www.peacewithgod.net

❤️Getting Your Breath Back After Life Knocks It Out of You (Kim’s book): https://www.christianbook.com/getting-knocks-transparent-journey-seeking-through/k-b-h-niles/

❤️Connect on Facebook by “following” our page: https://www.facebook.com/GettingYourBreathBackAfterGrief

❤️Grief Bites blog: https://www.griefbites.com

❤️FREE YouVersion reading plans:

1. Grief Bites: Finding Treasure In Hardships: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/912-grief-bites-finding-treasure-in-hardships

2. Grief Bites: Doubt Revealed: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/954-grief-bites-doubt-revealed

3. Grief Bites: A New Approach To Growing Through Grief https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/862-grief-bites

4. Grief Bites: Hope For The Holidays: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/1964-grief-bites-hope-for-the-holidays

5. Experiencing Holidays With Jesus: Christmas: http://bible.com/r/3V5

6. Experiencing Holidays With Jesus: Happy New Year!: http://bible.com/r/3Zv

7. Valentine’s Day: Experiencing Holidays With Jesus: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/14059-valentines-day-experiencing-holidays-with-jesus

⭐️All content on the Grief Bites blog and website is copyright protected material. Please ask for permission to copy, use, or print.

Got Regrets?

Oct15

Regret is such a small word that packs such huge consequences.

If we’re all honest with ourselves, there are some decisions we made at some point…knowingly or unknowingly at the time…that we can look back on and wish we had chosen differently.

…If someone is going through a preventable illness, it’s likely they wish they would’ve taken better care of their health.

…If they’ve experienced a bad divorce or a broken relationship, especially with their children, it’s likely there are many “if I had only…” regrets.

…If someone made poor or costly decisions, hurt or deeply failed someone they love, wasted precious time or resources, or failed monumentally in an important part of life, it’s likely they wish they could turn back time.

There are many situations in life we can wish we had taken a different…and much better…path.

No matter what regrets you are facing today, please do not allow your regrets to define you. You are not a failure, a reject, or a loser. No, you are simply a human being who made a poor decision…or maybe you are having to live with the consequences of another person’s regretful actions or decisions.

We each are made in the image of God.

Think about that incredible truth!

Since we are each made in God’s image, we are all incredibly special, loved, and valuable…God still has a purpose and plan for each person’s life that only they can do.

God has the power to make EVERYTHING work together for our good if we love Him.

Something a friend shared with me awhile back really put this in perspective. I hope it encourages you:

“God can turn your mess into a message, your test into a testimony, He can turn you from being a victim into a victor, and He can give you great triumph from your trials. He can turn your scars into stars and your pain into a pulpit”

It’s true! No matter what has happened so far in your life, God is not finished with you yet! Nothing you have done…or anything someone has done to you…has made him love you any less. He genuinely loves you so very much!

Take time today to have an intimate conversation with God about your deepest guilts and regrets. Pour your heart out to Him and ask Him to help you to truly put your life back together.

Good things are to come. You can’t do anything about the past but God can do everything with your future.

~From the YouVersion Bible reading plan, ‘Grief Bites: Finding Treasure In Hardships’.
Check it out here: http://bible.com/r/Ei

🌷ROMANS‬ ‭8:28, “And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.”‬ ‭

🌷PHILIPPIANS‬ ‭1:6‬, “For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus.”

🌷ROMANS‬ ‭8:37-39, “But in all these things we overwhelmingly conquer through Him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

❤️If you were encouraged by this post, please feel free to share it to encourage others!

⭐️For more encouragement:

❤️Making peace with God: http://www.peacewithgod.net

❤️Getting Your Breath Back After Life Knocks It Out of You (Kim’s book): https://www.christianbook.com/getting-knocks-transparent-journey-seeking-through/k-b-h-niles/

❤️Connect on Facebook by “liking” page: https://www.facebook.com/GettingYourBreathBackAfterGrief

❤️Kim’s blog: https://www.griefbites.com

❤️FREE YouVersion reading plans:

1. Grief Bites: Finding Treasure In Hardships: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/912-grief-bites-finding-treasure-in-hardships

2. Grief Bites: Doubt Revealed: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/954-grief-bites-doubt-revealed

3. Grief Bites: A New Approach To Growing Through Grief https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/862-grief-bites

4. Grief Bites: Hope For The Holidays: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/1964-grief-bites-hope-for-the-holidays

5. Experiencing Holidays With Jesus: Christmas: http://bible.com/r/3V5

6. Experiencing Holidays With Jesus: Happy New Year!: http://bible.com/r/3Zv

7. Valentine’s Day: Experiencing Holidays With Jesus: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/14059-valentines-day-experiencing-holidays-with-jesus

⭐️All content on the Grief Bites blog and website is copyright protected material. Please ask for permission to copy, use, or print.

Grief, Guilt, & Regrets

Mar20

Something that truly breaks my heart is when I talk with grievers who are dealing with guilt and regrets after a loved one dies.

They share how they felt they could have prevented the death of their loved one, or they had an argument (or regret) right before their loved one’s death.

Some never had an opportunity to make things right with their loved one…or say, “I’m sorry”…or…”I love you.“

I also talk to other grievers who feel guilty for words left unspoken or not getting a second chance to say what was truly on their heart.

Some weren’t sure how to feel after a family member or friend’s death because the relationship was complicated (I’ll be writing about this topic – Complicated Grief – in an upcoming blog post).

I can genuinely relate to the pain of each of these situations.

I’ve been through times of grief where my guilt and regrets competed with my grief. It’s a terrible, agonizing feeling.

A few examples:

Right before my sister passed away, she and I got into an argument over something incredibly dumb. We very rarely argued so this particular incident was hurtful to the both of us. We both said things we ended up regretting. She was so mad, we didn’t talk for over a week. I ended up sending her flowers with a card that told her I was sorry and I missed her…but in my hurt and pride, I did not write the words, “I love you” on the card.

I’m grateful we worked the situation out before she died, but, boy, did this situation torment me for several years after she had passed away.

The guilt was thick…and my regrets ran deep. I asked myself a thousand times, “Why did you not tell her you loved her on that card?”…”Why didn’t you realize how sick she was or visit her in the hospital?”

I had told my sister I loved her tons of times throughout her life, and several times after that incident…we were best friends. And there’s no way I, or anyone else, could’ve realized how sick she was…she was only sick for a few weeks with what seemed to be seasonal allergies before she died. But after someone we love dies, we truly can balloon up every guilt and regret we have to a much bigger level.

Another situation of guilt and regret had deeply affected me a few years before my sister’s death:

I had a boyfriend who was going on a trip with friends. He came over to my house the night before he was to leave and told me he was considering calling off going…all I had to do was say the word. Not wanting to keep him from having fun, I told him I wasn’t going to tell him what to do…but I encouraged him to have a good time. We had plans the weekend after he was to get back so I explained we could spend time together then.

I’ll never forget my mom coming into my room with tears streaming down her face. She turned on the TV in my bedroom, and that’s when I saw on the news that my boyfriend had died while on his trip. Within half an hour, two of his best friends came over to my house to tell me what I already knew.

Seeing my mom’s tears, his friends faces…and especially seeing his mom at the funeral…left me with more guilt than I could handle. Why didn’t I tell him to stay?

It was several years before I had the ability to forgive myself for both of these situations.

I also had a lot of regrets to work through after a loved one committed suicide.

Guilt and regrets don’t just occur after a loved one’s death…they can also surface in many life situations: an event that destroys lives, adultery, poor decisions, parenting mistakes, estranged relationships, health/disability choices, a bad career move, abortion, unspoken grief events, not making wise life, marriage, or family choices, etc.

I know many people who struggle with deep guilt and regret from similar situations…stemming from both death and life decisions…or feeling as though they could’ve prevented a tragedy from happening…or unspoken words to loved ones who have passed on…or arguments and conflicts that never got resolved…or deep regrets from not communicating in a better way…or suicide issues…or holding back affection…or – and this is a big one – playing the tortuous game of “If only” and “I wish I would’ve”…etc.

So what do you do with regrets and guilt that torment you?

A few things that helped me significantly (and these may help you too):
1. Talking to God about the guilt and regrets and asking Him to heal your broken heart.
2. Asking God to ask loved ones for their forgiveness and asking Him to tell them how much you love and miss them.
3. Realizing that your loved one totally forgives you…In Heaven, they are not holding anything against anyone that had been said or done on earth. What once upset them here does not even remotely upset them in Heaven. They have forgiven others … and they truly want their loved ones to forgive themselves and live a purpose-filled, lovely life.
4. Writing your loved one a note about the situation then shredding it. As you shred it, imagine the situation being completely finished.
5. Forgiving yourself and realizing everyone is fallible. Hindsight is always 20/20. If each person would’ve known better, they totally would’ve done better. 100%! Our loved ones would want for us to know that they would’ve done better too.
6. I made it a priority to learn valuable lessons from my guilt and regrets. This isn’t always easy…but the lessons are there.
7. I chose and made a commitment not to ever repeat the same mistakes from this day forward. As you learn, you grow. Nobody will ever be perfect, but we can choose to continually improve ourselves daily.

I learned through guilt and regrets powerful lessons can be learned. I learned through the first situation to use my words much more carefully, to work out problems quickly, and to forgive others and myself…I also learned to say, “I love you,” to my loved ones more frequently. As a result, I am now very mindful of how I treat my loved ones and consistently treat them as well as I possibly can. I also am very mindful of considering the cost of any decisions I make.

I also learned life is precious. People can be here today and gone tomorrow. I do my best to not take loved ones – or life – for granted.

Grieving is tough. Navigating guilt and regrets is hard. But God is in the details and is willing to bring healing – if you look to Him.

God was so good to show me two Bible verses that gently hugged my broken heart and brought it back to life:

Psalms‬ ‭139:16‬, “Your eyes saw me when I was formless; all my days were written in Your book and planned before a single one of them began.”

Deuteronomy‬ ‭32:39‬, “See now that I alone am He; there is no God but Me. I bring death and I give life… No one can rescue anyone from My hand.”

Every day of my loved ones’ lives – their birth date and their death date – were pre-planned. I didn’t have the power to prevent tragedy.

God also surprised me with a bittersweet revelation: since Heaven is the ultimate goal…I could emotionally release my loved ones, my guilt and regrets, and all of my feelings to God and be thankful for blessing my loved ones with the gift of living with Him in paradise. Blaming myself was futile too…none of my loved ones would come back to earth if given the choice.

Guilt and regrets are agonizing when we look at things from an earthly perspective. When we look at things from an eternal perspective, that’s where we find healing.

If you are in the valley of guilt and regrets, I encourage you to pour your heart out to God. You have carried the guilt long enough. Carrying guilt and regrets may make you feel as though you are atoning for what happened in the past, but there is a better way: take your broken heart, guilt, and regrets to God, lay them in His loving hands, and ask Him to take these burdens from you. He has the power and ability to lift them as He truly heals your heart.

We cannot do anything about the past…but we can learn valuable lessons and choose to do better from this day forward.

God wants to take all of the heavy burdens life throws at us…and we continually need to allow Him to.

Life is precious! We need to spend time recovering our life, as much as we seek to recover from grief, guilt, and regrets.

I pray God truly and genuinely heals everybody’s heart who is going through guilt and regrets.

Gratitude, healing, & many blessings,

Kim

❤️If you were encouraged by this post, please feel free to share it to encourage others!

⭐️For more encouragement:

❤️Making peace with God: http://peacewithgod.net

❤️Getting Your Breath Back After Life Knocks It Out of You (Kim’s book): Click here for book

❤️Connect on Facebook by “liking” page: http://www.facebook.com/GettingYourBreathBackAfterGrief

❤️Kim’s blog: http://www.griefbites.com

❤️FREE YouVersion reading plans:

1. Grief Bites: Finding Treasure In Hardships: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/912-grief-bites-finding-treasure-in-hardships

2. Grief Bites: Doubt Revealed: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/954-grief-bites-doubt-revealed

3. Grief Bites: A New Approach To Growing Through Grief https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/862-grief-bites

4. Grief Bites: Hope For The Holidays: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/1964-grief-bites-hope-for-the-holidays

5. Experiencing Holidays With Jesus: Christmas: http://bible.com/r/3V5

6. Experiencing Holidays With Jesus: Happy New Year!: http://bible.com/r/3Zv

7. ❤️NEW!❤️Valentine’s Day: Experiencing Holidays With Jesus: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/14059-valentines-day-experiencing-holidays-with-jesus

⭐️All content on the Grief Bites blog and website is copyright protected material. Please ask for permission to copy, use, or print.

Have Questions for God?

May21

All throughout history, people have struggled with the question, “Why did God allow this to happen?” – and accuse God of abandoning them.

Gideon was no different.

Judges‬ ‭6:12-13‬, “When the angel of the Lord appeared to Gideon, he said, “The Lord is with you, mighty warrior.” (and here it goes: Gideon starts questioning what so many have thought or verbalized since the beginning of time)
“Pardon me, my lord,” Gideon replied, “but if the Lord is with us, why has all this happened to us? Where are all his wonders that our ancestors told us about when they said, ‘Did not the Lord bring us up out of Egypt?’ But now the Lord has abandoned us and given us into the hand of Midian.””

Gideon was in the middle of a crisis and his hope and trust were thin. Can you relate?

Gideon was an unlikely hero and conquerer – the odds were significantly stacked against the poor guy – yet God greatly used him in a huge, powerful way.
But first, God needed to work in Gideon’s heart.

In the 6th chapter of Judges, we find God revealed to Gideon some key things that needed to happen before He granted deliverance:

A removal of a false God – what do we need to remove from our lives so that God can powerfully work? What “god(s)” are we choosing over the one true God?
Sacrifice – God doesn’t NEED our sacrifices (Hosea 6:6 – another great book!) but He does desire a heart that is sold out to Him and Him alone. God wants us to give Him this: rightful first place in our hearts and lives. Loyalty. Love. Commitment.
God desires for us to trust Him – we need to remove our doubts, our fears, and overcome our questions so we can have – and intimately experience – a dynamic encounter with Him.
Obedience – whether it makes sense to us or not.

Notice as you read Judges 6 that God was patient with Gideon. When Gideon lacked hope or faith, or even had questions, God lovingly provided grace and evidence of His love and guidance.

God will do the same for us, too!

The most difficult times of my life have led to some of my greatest times with God. Difficult times are never easy – they’re painfully excruciating – but God has always carried me through these tough times. Faithfully.

When life throws BIG problems at you…these are often allowed so we will stop depending on ourselves and depend on God.
God-sized problems always open up the opportunity for God to provide God-sized love and answers.
‭
Today, read Judges.

God will never abandon us. Ever.

Whatever “battle” we are going through in life, God has the power to bring total victory – no matter what the odds appear to be.

I challenge all of us to:

seek God’s face
remove the things/“gods”/sin in our heart that prevent us from truly putting God first
be fully devoted to God
Love and obey Him with all of our heart
ask God to remove our doubts, fears, and worries as we cast all of our cares upon Him
and ask to experience a dynamic encounter with Him

When we are tempted to question God’s Will, may we always remember this:
God’s perfect Will is exactly what we all would want if we knew ALL the facts. His ways are good and perfect – even if they don’t seem to be perfect and don’t feel good to us. He sees the big picture – start to finish.

Choosing to obey and trust God in difficult circumstances is a beautiful act of faith. And we need God’s continual love, help, and strength to accomplish this.

Let’s choose to love, obey, and trust God – and entrust Him with all the facts as we submit to Him today.
He loves you!💗

Hope all of you are safe and well,
Kim

❤️If you were encouraged by this post, please feel free to share it to encourage others!

⭐️For more encouragement:

❤️Making peace with God: http://www.peacewithgod.net

❤️Getting Your Breath Back After Life Knocks It Out of You (Kim’s book): https://www.christianbook.com/getting-knocks-transparent-journey-seeking-through/k-b-h-niles/

❤️Connect on Facebook by “liking” page: https://www.facebook.com/GettingYourBreathBackAfterGrief

❤️Kim’s blog: https://www.griefbites.com

❤️FREE YouVersion reading plans:

1. Grief Bites: Finding Treasure In Hardships: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/912-grief-bites-finding-treasure-in-hardships

2. Grief Bites: Doubt Revealed: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/954-grief-bites-doubt-revealed

3. Grief Bites: A New Approach To Growing Through Grief https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/862-grief-bites

4. Grief Bites: Hope For The Holidays: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/1964-grief-bites-hope-for-the-holidays

5. Experiencing Holidays With Jesus: Christmas: http://bible.com/r/3V5

6. Experiencing Holidays With Jesus: Happy New Year!: http://bible.com/r/3Zv

7. Valentine’s Day: Experiencing Holidays With Jesus: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/14059-valentines-day-experiencing-holidays-with-jesus

⭐️All content on the Grief Bites blog and website is copyright protected material. Please ask for permission to copy, use, or print.

❤️

To The Mom (Or Child) Who Is Hurting This Mother’s Day💗

May12

Mother’s Day is a very heartbreaking and tough holiday for some.

Some moms aren’t sure how to spend Mother’s Day because they are trying to figure out how to get through the holiday due to their precious child’s death.

Some women are heartbroken due to infertility issues/not being able to have children.

Some have complicated relationships with their mom/children due to issues that stem from past or current tough/painful circumstances: grief, loss, divorce, adultery, past hurts, disappointments, favoritism, blended families, past abuse, etc.

Some will be sad due to navigating the heartbreaking death of their own beloved mother.

Some raised their children right, made many sacrifices, loved and treasured their kiddos…yet they now find their teenage or adult children are unkind or unloving. Their children may not even choose to honor them on Mother’s Day.

Some children did everything in their power to earn their mom’s love and approval – to no avail.

Some moms are hurting terribly due to a miscarriage or stillborn death.

Some are regretting an abortion.

Some mothers (or children) have been written off, or their relationship has drastically changed, due to the influence of their child’s (or parent’s) spouse or significant other.

Some will be missing their mom or child due to them serving in the military or having a job where they travel.

Some are estranged from their mom or children or don’t talk often with them.

Some have a mom or children who are battling addictions – and due to the alcohol or drugs, they are frequently talked down to or mistreated. They may not even know their mom or child’s location.

Some stepparents/stepchildren are hurting due to blended family challenges.

Some have the events of an adoption on their heart: the child who has never known their biological mother and wonders about her…or the mother who has been missing their child ever since they gave their child up for adoption.

Some moms or their children are incarcerated and won’t be able to spend the day together.

There are multiple reasons why some moms may feel sad, unimportant, unappreciated, unwanted, heartbroken, or unloved this Mother’s Day.

My heart genuinely hurts for any mom (or child) who will be hurting this Mother’s Day and also for those who are mistreated. And my heart goes out to the moms who won’t be fully celebrated on Mother’s Day and those who will not have the ability to fully celebrate on this special day.

Moms do so much behind the scenes: pray every day for their children, read stories to them, sing lullabies, make crafts with their children, grocery shop, do laundry, work, cook and make lunches, clean, help and comfort their children when they’re sick, potty train their kiddos, pay for school activities and supplies, provide shelter, clothing, food, and opportunities, create and provide great memories, make holidays and birthdays special, drive their children to activities, worry a million worries, direct their kiddos in the right direction, teach them manners and good character, try to prevent them from making monumental lifelong mistakes, painfully allow them to fail so they can learn and grow…even though they really want to intervene, encourage their kids, love them unconditionally…and other special evidences of great sacrifice. Moms do all of this and more. So many times, moms – and especially their love – can be taken for granted.

Deeply missing a child or mom due to death is excruciatingly painful and permanent here on earth. It feels as though you are forever missing an important piece of your heart…it never feels quite ‘whole’ again. Sometimes, it feels like you can’t even breathe.

When your child dies, or turns against you, it is extremely painful. It’s a continual funeral in your heart. The heartache is always present. The pain continually lingers in the depths of your soul.

When your mom or child willingly chooses to walk out of your life, there are no easy answers when it comes to these very tough, complicated, and fragile circumstances.

The parent-child relationship is so very important…and there are also no easy answers when this vital relationship is taken away through death either.

⭐️(UPDATE: with COVID-19 currently affecting the world, some of the tips below will need to be modified to ensure proper health and practicing social distancing is a must.)

If you have experienced the death of a child, or you have attempted reconciliation with a present child and it ended poorly, or you aren’t able to talk to or see your child on Mother’s Day, consider doing the following:

Attend church online and spend the day with God, focusing exclusively on Him.
Go to your favorite restaurant with a family member or friend.
Do something relaxing such as take a walk in the park, listen to music, go to a movie, visit family members, or do any other activity you find peaceful.
Ask your loved ones for extra love and support for Mother’s Day weekend…tell them that Mother’s Day is going to be challenging and sad for you.
Visit a bookstore and buy a good book to read.
Memories can never be taken away from the heart. Warmly reflect on all of the precious and good memories. Allow your heart to breathe and smile as you remember happier times.
Honor your relationship with your loved one by doing an activity in your loved one’s memory.
Pamper yourself – do the things that make your heart happy!
Reach out to other moms who you know are hurting. Do something kind or special for them.
Rent a few movies, get your favorite snacks, and snuggle up on the couch.
Take care to be kind and loving to yourself. Be gentle with your heart. You are very valuable and God loves you very much! You are a treasure!!

So what can a mother do when faced with the heartbreaking actions or reactions from their living child(ren)?

Pour your heart out to God and share with Him how much you are hurting. Share with Him how much you miss your precious child. If your child is totally estranged from you, share with God how painful this situation is for you. Ask Him to heal your child’s heart, and ask Him to heal your heart, too. Ask God to give you the wisdom you need so you will know how to wisely handle the heartbreak you are going through, as well as your grief or the entire situation. Ask for restoration, harmony, healing, and a miracle.
If you know of any time you have wounded your child’s heart or anytime you have mistreated them birth-present, take responsibility and sincerely apologize for any wrongdoings. Pray and ask God to soften their heart, and ask God to bind and rebuke the enemy before you go and talk with your child. If they react to your apology, or refuse to forgive you, stay humble and ask what they need you to do to help them to forgive you. Do not react to them or throw up in their face anything they’ve done. Apologize and genuinely seek forgiveness.
Do not allow your child to get a rise out of you. Stay calm and answer pleasantly. When you react or bite the bait of an argument, you reinforce to them the idea (in their mind) that you’re the problem. If you refuse to give them a reaction, they will eventually have to deal with the fact that the problem may be theirs. When you argue with them, they will also justify their mistreatment of you.
If you’re not able to talk to your child, tell God you are placing your child in His hands and fully entrusting them to Him. Ask God to mightily work in their life.
If your child is battling addiction, ask God to guide your child to the help that He wants for them to receive.
Ask God to grant everyone involved the peace, harmony, and genuine love they need. Also, ask God to bring past good memories you and your child once shared back into your child’s heart.
Ask your child out to brunch or a movie…or to an activity that you both will enjoy. They may say no, but you’ve planted some small seeds that may bloom in the future. Do not react if they decline the invitation. Simply tell them you love them and miss them.
Ultimately, you have zero control over how your much-loved child acts, reacts, behaves, responds, or treats you…you only have control over yourself. No matter what, please realize you have value! Your value does not diminish just because your child (or anyone else for that matter) rejects or mistreats you. Before you were a parent, a child, a spouse, a sibling, or anything else, you were God’s…you were you. God will always love you!
Realize that you can be the best mom ever and you can do all of the above, yet it may not be well received.

To any mom (or child) who is going through intense heartache, I am so very sorry!

To experience the death of a child…it’s a crushing, heartbreaking grief event I wish no parent ever had to walk through.

To experience a difficult relationship with a child…I also wish no parent had to go through this as well.

I am praying for all moms, their children, and their families this Mother’s Day!

You are important! I pray your heart will feel great comfort and peace. I pray you will be treated with love and kindness…and that God will wrap His loving arms around your heart!

💗Here are a few blog posts to further encourage you:

https://griefbites.com/2018/03/21/when-god-doesnt-give-you-your-fairytale-2/

https://griefbites.com/2016/03/20/mourning-those-who-are-still-alive/

https://griefbites.com/2018/02/07/grief-when-no-closure-can-be-found/

Wishing everyone a blessed and special Mother’s Day!

Gratitude & blessings,

Kim

❤️If you were encouraged by this post, please feel free to share it to encourage others!

⭐️For more encouragement:

❤️Making peace with God: http://peacewithgod.net

❤️Getting Your Breath Back After Life Knocks It Out of You (Kim’s book): Click here for book

❤️Connect on Facebook by “liking” page: http://www.facebook.com/GettingYourBreathBackAfterGrief

❤️Kim’s blog: http://www.griefbites.com

❤️FREE YouVersion reading plans:

1. Grief Bites: Finding Treasure In Hardships: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/912-grief-bites-finding-treasure-in-hardships

2. Grief Bites: Doubt Revealed: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/954-grief-bites-doubt-revealed

3. Grief Bites: A New Approach To Growing Through Grief https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/862-grief-bites

4. Grief Bites: Hope For The Holidays: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/1964-grief-bites-hope-for-the-holidays

-holidays

5. Experiencing Holidays With Jesus: Christmas: http://bible.com/r/3V5

6. Experiencing Holidays With Jesus: Happy New Year!: http://bible.com/r/3Zv

7. Valentine’s Day: Experiencing Holidays With Jesus: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/14059-valentines-day-experiencing-holidays-with-jesus

⭐️All content on the Grief Bites blog and website is copyright protected material. Please ask for permission to copy, use, or print.

Two Words That Can Change EVERYTHING

Mar5

The following verses all have something amazing and special in common: 1 Samuel 23:14, Genesis 8:1, 1 Kings 5:4, Acts 2:24, Psalm 49:15, Genesis 31:7, 31:24, Romans 5:8, Genesis 50:20, Genesis 31:42, Psalm 73:26, Acts 3:15, Genesis 45:8

They all contain two specific words.

And these two words – when put together – are two of the most important and powerful words we can ever hope for and say —

…”but God.”

Anytime God uses these two words…you know specific, big and incredible things are going to happen:

incredible change

big protection

incredible grace

specific answers

big healing

It’s just who our God is.

I’ve experienced it time and time again throughout my life.

Today, read the above Bible verses. Think about what you are going through, and then, insert and introduce the words, “but God” to your life experience.

Example: “I may be going through grief…but God will carry me through this tough time and cause good to come out of the situation.”

Where there is deep heartache…a monumental life challenge…a situation that is causing fear or worry…marital or family conflict…a health crisis…anything…these two words are powerful and have the ability to change everything…

…but God.

Today, you may be going through the death of a treasured loved one…but God is going to carry you through it.

Your spouse may have come home and told you they don’t love you anymore…but God has the power to work in your spouse’s heart and heal your marriage.

You may have just found out a devastating medical diagnosis…but God knows your body inside and out and has the power to work a healing miracle.

You may be estranged from a family member…but God has the power to bring peace and harmony to the relationship.

You may be struggling with addiction (or the addiction of a loved one)…but God is bigger than any addiction.

You may be struggling financially…but God can open up blessings on you when you honor your finances His way.

You may have been deeply wronged, abused, or mistreated by others…but God is the One who sees your tears, places those precious tears in a bottle, and records all of your heartache in His book (Psalm 56:8).

No matter what we go through or experience in life…the words “but God” always apply.

God loves you.

God cares for you.

God wants to help and bless you.

You will never find anyone who loves and cares for you more than God – and He will always redeem and make things new…especially when we place each situation in His hands.

Note: sometimes God doesn’t change things how we want to see things changed…and God’s change happens in His way and His timing. So don’t lose hope. Ever. God will never do something halfheartedly, hurriedly, or incompletely. I’ve found Him to be 100% faithful in every situation. And many times, God changed me first before He changed a situation. Always remember: He’s got you.

Gratitude & blessings,

Kim

More encouragement on this topic:

https://griefbites.com/2016/02/17/7-ways-to-receive-new-mercies-favor-from-god-through-lifes-storms/

https://griefbites.com/2015/12/30/sometimes-god-is-waiting-on-us/

https://griefbites.com/2017/12/23/7-important-things-to-remember-through-a-growing-season/

https://griefbites.com/2015/12/27/delighting-in-god/

https://griefbites.com/2017/04/12/where-are-you-god-2/

https://griefbites.com/2017/02/17/seasons-of-life-when-life-hurts/

https://griefbites.com/2018/02/14/a-special-prayer-for-your-marriage/

https://griefbites.com/2018/02/07/grief-when-no-closure-can-be-found/

https://griefbites.com/2018/03/21/when-god-doesnt-give-you-your-fairytale-2/

https://griefbites.com/2016/06/22/bringing-your-hard-questions-to-god-an-extra-crispy-collision/

https://griefbites.com/2016/03/20/mourning-those-who-are-still-alive/

❤️If you were encouraged by this post, please feel free to share it to encourage others!

⭐️For more encouragement:

❤️Making peace with God: http://peacewithgod.net

❤️Getting Your Breath Back After Life Knocks It Out of You (Kim’s book): Click here for book

❤️Connect on Facebook by “liking” page: http://www.facebook.com/GettingYourBreathBackAfterGrief

❤️Kim’s blog: http://www.griefbites.com

❤️FREE YouVersion reading plans:

1. Grief Bites: Finding Treasure In Hardships: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/912-grief-bites-finding-treasure-in-hardships

2. Grief Bites: Doubt Revealed: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/954-grief-bites-doubt-revealed

3. Grief Bites: A New Approach To Growing Through Grief https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/862-grief-bites

4. Grief Bites: Hope For The Holidays: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/1964-grief-bites-hope-for-the-holidays

5. Experiencing Holidays With Jesus: Christmas: http://bible.com/r/3V5

6. Experiencing Holidays With Jesus: Happy New Year!: http://bible.com/r/3Zv

7. ❤️NEW!❤️Valentine’s Day: Experiencing Holidays With Jesus: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/14059-valentines-day-experiencing-holidays-with-jesus

⭐️All content on the Grief Bites blog and website is copyright protected material. Please ask for permission to copy, use, or print.

Grief: When No Closure Can Be Found

Feb7

Going through grief is excruciating.

Having to go through a grief experience where there is no ability to have closure is terrible.

There have been grief experiences in my life where the grief had a beginning and an end — an opportunity for closure. Then there were other grief experiences that were incredibly painful and felt debilitatingly endless — no opportunity for closure at all. To be honest, in addition to many grief events, I’ve been on two seemingly never ending roller coasters of grief the past 10 years for one situation and 3 1/2 years for the other one…and the heartache of six family members going through cancer at the same time.

I’ve experienced just about every emotion known to mankind and I’ve had to work through these extremely tough thoughts and emotions so they wouldn’t drown me.

I’ve struggled and wrestled spiritually with God with many questions:

“Why would you allow this?”

“Why didn’t You prevent this?”

“Are You there?”

“Do You truly care?”

“Will you please grant my family and me a brand new season…a season of goodness and healing?”

Lots and lots of questions.

Ultimately, God doesn’t owe me answers to any of my questions. God is God…and I am not. He understands the entirety of each situation…He knows the good that will eventually come out of them (Romans 8:28)…and the purpose for each of these situations, too. God understands what He is accomplishing through the tough situations…and in each heart involved in these tough events.

These grief situations seemingly have no closure…and no possibility for closure.

One of these situations caused a dearly loved family member to become an atheist and several family members to drop out of church…which created even more heartfelt, agonizing questions from me to God.

I’ve thought about not only these situations, but all of the situations I’ve experienced in life that I’d label “No Closure Grief Events.” No closure grief events are tough events because it is very difficult to find any closure…the emotions that stem from them can eat you alive. They’re exceptionally tough because it takes a lot of faith to get through them.

Some of the most common No Closure Grief Events are:

terminal illness, traumatic brain injuries, permanent disability, debilitating autoimmune illnesses, mental illness issues, etc. – (yourself or a loved one)
guilt and regrets you can’t make right
unspoken grief events
a devastating diagnosis
not getting to say “goodbye” to a loved one who died
when someone severely violates your trust
when a loved one attempts or commits suicide…and you can’t get through to them or couldn’t prevent it
when there is a major betrayal in a relationship
family, extended family, step-family, marital, or parent/child conflict…and also conflict with any of these that began post-grief
separation or divorce – especially if it’s not wanted by one spouse…or adultery
a family member rejecting God or becoming an atheist
abortion (or grieving a loved one’s choice to get an abortion)
church hurt or church abuse
rejection (or abandonment) by a family member or loved one
situations of assault or abuse – physical, emotional, spiritual, physical, or sexual
an ongoing job issue…or being wrongly fired or laid off
not getting to say “goodbye” to a loved one who chose to leave
not getting to confront or make something right with someone who deeply hurt you…or that someone refusing to do the right thing or make amends
a situation where justice did not prevail
unfair life events
when someone mistreats you, attempts to harm your reputation, or lies about you
any harsh life or justice situation where closure is difficult

So what can you do?

God has been teaching me so much these past few years. I haven’t enjoyed the lessons, but I sure have learned…and applied…some very valuable lessons and truths.

Have there been times I’ve wanted to quit? Oh yeah! Many.

Have I been bitter? For a season, I sure was…Absolutely.

Have I been tempted to be mad at God? Yes. I’m thankful for His love, grace, mercy, and forgiveness.

Have I wanted to speak publicly about the situations…and share my thoughts, heart, deep hurts, the incredible injustice, and my opinions? Definitely.

I think anytime you (or a loved one) have experienced a major grief event, especially a No Closure Grief Event…emotions are sure to show up. Some emotions may even surprise you.

When there is no closure, the trick – and what is most needed – is to trust God and not our emotions…to believe God is sovereign in spite of what a situation looks like…to fully fall into God’s arms and realize He truly is good…to know and fully trust that God holds everyone accountable and no one gets away with anything – even if it appears there has been zero conviction or consequences.

Maybe you’re going through a “no closure grief event” right now. Maybe you’ve also pleaded with God for answers through many tears…and have even prayed throughout many months or years. Perhaps you feel like giving up.

I highly encourage you to never give up!

I highly encourage you to never fall away from your relationship with God!

One day, God will give you the gift of closure…the Bible promises it.

God doesn’t mind our questions and pleadings…His heart is big enough to take on our woundedness, sufferings, and hardships…and He truly and genuinely cares about every grief event and situation we go through.

We may not be able to find the closure we need, but God created our hearts – He fully knows and loves us. He will be making every wrong right. The situations we go through do not catch God by surprise. And He will never allow us to go through a situation unless He realizes the situation can be turned into something great. It may not happen overnight…it may even take years…but God can turn your worst events into something of great value.

Our job is to praise God through the storms we face…to deepen and prove our salvation is genuine and real…to love and forgive others…to live in peace…to embrace God, our grief, and our hardships…to learn through everything we face – the good and the bad – and to love God with all of our heart and to sincerely rest in Him.

Today, lay down your toughest grief events – every grief experience – at God’s feet. Cast all your burdens and cares onto Him. Tell God you are choosing to trust Him with everything…especially the situations that are breaking your heart! Leave your hurts, heartaches, burdens, situations, disappointments, dreams, goals, expectations, emotions, and grief experiences with Him.

When the enemy reminds you of a no closure grief event, immediately take your thoughts and feelings to God. It is imperative that you talk through your feelings with God and release those tough emotions into His more than capable hands.

We may not be able to find closure in our present circumstances, but we can find closure through leaving our situations in God’s care.

Seek God with all your heart! Pour out your heart to God as you spend time with Him today!

He loves you.

He truly cares.

Entrust your situation with Him and trust His great heart!

Gratitude & blessings,

Kim

❤️If you were encouraged by this post, please feel free to share it to encourage others!

⭐️For more encouragement:

❤️Making peace with God: http://peacewithgod.net

❤️Getting Your Breath Back After Life Knocks It Out of You (Kim’s book):

Click here for book

❤️Connect on Facebook by “liking” page: http://www.facebook.com/GettingYourBreathBackAfterGrief

❤️Kim’s blog: http://www.griefbites.com

❤️FREE YouVersion reading plans:

1. Grief Bites: Finding Treasure In Hardships: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/912-grief-bites-finding-treasure-in-hardships

2. Grief Bites: Doubt Revealed: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/954-grief-bites-doubt-revealed

3. Grief Bites: A New Approach To Growing Through Grief https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/862-grief-bites

4. Grief Bites: Hope For The Holidays: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/1964-grief-bites-hope-for-the-holidays

5. Experiencing Holidays With Jesus: Christmas: http://bible.com/r/3V5

6. Experiencing Holidays With Jesus: Happy New Year!: http://bible.com/r/3Zv

7. ❤️NEW!❤️Experiencing Holidays With Jesus: Valentine’s Day (available February 2019)

⭐️All content on the Grief Bites blog and website is copyright protected material. Please ask for permission to copy, use, or print.

The Value of Anger in Grief

Apr3

One of the strongest emotions you may face during times of grief is anger.

I have found through the years that anyone who hasn’t been through a tough grief experience, they aren’t quite sure what to do with a loved one who is dealing with anger after an unfair or tragic loss.

Anger is a very uncomfortable emotion. Most people want a remedy that is instant…but anger has to run its course.

Outside of the ground rule I have for those I coach through grief of “Grieve however you need to grieve…as long as you don’t harm God, others, or yourself,”…I never tell a grief-stricken person to not be angry.

Some are going to be angry. Angry at God…angry at other people, including family…angry with a doctor or other hospital workers…angry at life…angry that life drastically changed…angry at the lack of being able to turn back time…angry at injustices…angry at other’s wrongdoings…angry about rejection or a hurtful divorce/breakup…angry at feeling hopeless or helpless…angry you prematurely or unfairly lost a loved one…angry you were mistreated by people you trusted. The fact is, anger is sometimes interlocked with grief.

One time, at a monthly grief group I lead, there was an attendee who very unfairly went through the premature death of a loved one who meant the world to them. This attendee was screaming… cussing… insulting me… but I didn’t stop it. Another attendee was about to stand up for me and correct the person, but I quickly interrupted and just allowed the parent to get it all out. I sensed they didn’t need corrected or judgment…they needed compassion and understanding in the midst of their shattered life and their heart being torn apart.

A grief group should offer a safe place where each attendee can feel how they need to feel, and have the freedom to work through the tough, difficult, and agonizing emotions. When you try to make grief predictable… safe… sterile… you shortchange the person you are trying to help.

The thing is…as I explained to everyone in my grief group – whose eyes were as big as silver dollars at the outburst – why shouldn’t the person who was throwing the fit be angry?They just lost one of the most precious, highly treasured gifts they had ever been given in life. This grief event changed life as they knew it. I’ve seen people become unglued when they temporarily lost a replaceable possession such as a car, home, job, or even when breaking something as silly as a fingernail…and everyone understood – so why not be understanding and empathetic when someone permanently loses a person they greatly love here on earth?

“I sat with my anger long enough until she told me her real name was grief.”

~ C.S. Lewis

I think it is totally justifiable to have a time for anger during times of grief…without having an outside person trying to remove it, control it, fix it, or lessen it. If someone went through the heartbreaking loss of a loved one’s death…the loss of their marriage or an important relationship…found out they have an untreatable or terminal illness…went through the loss of a job after years of loyalty and service…was abused or assaulted…went through the devastation of adultery…if they had an injustice done to them or a loved one…if they experienced prejudice or any other social unfairness…or someone came back physically, emotionally, or mentally wounded after serving in the military…etc. Well, those experiences are harsh, and absolutely horrible. They’re life-changing. Why wouldn’t they be mad? They should be mad for awhile – if they need to be. They had terrible, heartbreaking, or unfair things happen to them in life and they should have full understanding and support from loved ones (family, friends, church family, etc) to work through their anger…as long as they aren’t harming God, others, or themselves.

I think society needs to become more comfortable with allowing people to feel what they need to feel during times of grief. And anger is a part of it.

If people on the outside are frustrated with how a loved one is processing grief, think how the griever feels on the inside. They’re frustrated, too. Probably, more so. They most certainly didn’t sign up for the grief experience they’re having to walk through…and when family or friends lack compassion, understanding, and genuine love and empathy, think how much that compounds their hurt and frustration.

If you have a loved one who is experiencing deep hurt, allow them to hurt without trying to fix them. If you have a loved one who is experiencing anger, allow them to be angry. If they are feeling shattered, allow them the dignity to grieve over their tremendous loss without any judgment.

Majority of grievers will grow through their grief…in time. But they aren’t going to get over it…..no, they will instead need family and friends who care enough to stick around who will actively love them back to life so they are able to get through it.

Even in the toughest life situations, it is never wise to camp out in the wilderness of anger longterm. If you stay angry, or make anger a lifestyle, your grief and pain will be in vain.It will destroy you and your loved ones from the inside out, and will harm your relationships and your quality of life…but anger for a season isn’t bad.

Anger can have great value. For example: as a society, we immediately teach children that anger is a bad emotion…and by doing so, we fail to show them that anger can be a healthy emotion (when used correctly with care) that can be a helpful, driving catalyst to bring about great change. Anger reveals an injustice, injury, or hurt we have experienced in life…and these revelations eventually open up opportunities to prevent similar situations from happening – or to help others who are going through a similar situation.

When a griever is allowed the freedom to feel angry about their loss…mind you, not stay in their anger longterm, but to feel the expected feelings of anger…they are fully using their emotions and heart to process their grief.

The alternative is not pretty.

I’ve seen a lot of grievers stifle their anger or stuff it down, and, instead, turn to alcohol, drugs, and other addictions to numb their pain.

It is far more valuable for a griever to go through – and work through – anger than to permanently destroy their life by denying, burying it, holding it in, or stifling it. Anger is a way of a griever’s heart screaming what they know to be true: “grief sucks…this is not fair…this should not have happened.” Because, ultimately, that is what anger is…it’s acknowledging that what took place in life was hurtful, tragic, unfair, and not right.

The next time you have a loved one who is horrifically hurting in grief, please keep in mind they truly are not trying to be a pain…they instead are in pain.

Expecting a griever, who went through a tragic life event, to not have anger or intense pain would be like unfairly expecting a person who was in a horrible car accident to conceal their pain while in the ambulance or emergency room.

Instead of judgment, please show kindness and mercy, and help them through their hard time. No words necessary…just love them, listen to them, stick around, and be there. Give them the respect and gift of time so they are able to thoroughly understand their grief and how their grief event has impacted their life.

Make the commitment to meet loved ones who are grieving exactly where they are, and to be the kind of family member or friend who is an active, restorative support system to loved ones throughout grief and life.

Always be the mercy and compassion today that you hope to receive in the future.

“It is important to feel the anger without judging it, without attempting to find meaning in it. It may take many forms: anger at the health-care system, at life, at your loved one for leaving. Life is unfair. Death is unfair. Anger is a natural reaction to the unfairness of loss.” ~Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

Gratitude, grace, & blessings,
Kim

❤️If you were encouraged by this post, please feel free to share it to encourage others!

⭐️For more encouragement:

❤️Getting Your Breath Back After Life Knocks It Out of You (Kim’s book): Click here for book

❤️Making peace with God: http://peacewithgod.net

❤️Connect on Facebook by “liking” page: https://www.facebook.com/GettingYourBreathBackAfterGrief

❤️Kim’s blog: https://www.griefbites.com

❤️FREE YouVersion reading plans:

1. Grief Bites: Finding Treasure In Hardships: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/912-grief-bites-finding-treasure-in-hardships

2. Grief Bites: Doubt Revealed: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/954-grief-bites-doubt-revealed

3. Grief Bites: A New Approach To Growing Through Grief https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/862-grief-bites

4. Grief Bites: Hope For The Holidays: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/1964-grief-bites-hope-for-the-holidays

5. Experiencing Holidays With Jesus: Christmas: http://bible.com/r/3V5

6. Experiencing Holidays With Jesus: Happy New Year!: http://bible.com/r/3Zv

7. Valentine’s Day: Experiencing Holidays With Jesus: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/14059-valentines-day-experiencing-holidays-with-jesus

⭐️All content on the Grief Bites blog and website is copyright protected material. Please ask for permission to copy, use, or print.

It’s always better to: Creating A Great Life

Dec29

It’s always better to:

•be too emotional than inauthentic

•be too deep than shallow

•be too forgiving than bitter

•be too loving than rejecting

•be too compassionate than hard-hearted

•be too giving than stingy

•be too mercy-filled than unfeeling

•be too kind than excluding

•be too grateful than unappreciative

•be too responsible than negligent

•be too concerned than aloof

•be too thoughtful than selfish

•be too humble than arrogant

•be too honest than deceitful

•be too mindful than careless

•be too invested than regretful

•be too dependable than flakey

•have too much character than to look back on life with heartache and regrets

•to seek excellence in all you do than to succumb to mediocrity

Excellence is attainable because excellence is achieved by developing your character.

…And character either makes or breaks a person.

I’ve seen people mightily succeed – or horrifically fail – in their marriages, parenting, relationships with God and family, and also in their business and personal lives…just based on character alone.

When people actively choose to cultivate and improve their character, they’re choosing to positively cultivate and grow success: in their relationships, in their goals, as well as every part of their life.

Look at both the positive and negative character traits above and ask yourself – and allow yourself to truly see – where you need to improve.

It’s always better to actively improve your character, heart, life, and the lives of others than to watch your life pass you by…or worse, to watch your life miserably fail – or your loved ones’ lives deeply hurt due to your poor choices. No one sets out to hurt their loved ones’ hearts or lives, but it happens all the time.

God gives each of us the choice to either create a great life – or to choose a bad life. Whichever is chosen will reap either the blessings or consequences that will follow.

It’s always best to get into the habit of being mindful of where our choices – big and small – will take us.

When you look back on your life, you’ll be glad you made good character a high priority.

Proverbs 22:1, “Choose a good reputation over great riches; being held in high esteem is better than silver or gold.”

Matthew‬ ‭12:35, “A good person produces good things from the treasury of a good heart, and an evil person produces evil things from the treasury of an evil heart.”

‭‭Proverbs 28:6, “Better a poor man who lives with integrity than a rich man who distorts right and wrong.”

So how do you develop character and create a great life?

Read the Bible, especially Proverbs, and ask God to give you wisdom and understanding
Choose to make one good decision at a time
Always choose to do the next “right thing”
Realize life is about so much more than you…always put others first – especially God & family (family is the greatest training ground for character – they’re the only people on earth that God Himself intentionally placed you with…loving & serving them is the true litmus test of character – and sometimes, they can be the most difficult to get along with. You’ll be amazed how God will oftentimes promote you to the next level – especially in ministry – only after you learn how to genuinely love your spouse, children, parents, siblings, in-laws, etc.)
Love God and others with all of your heart
Choose to never intentionally hurt or harm others – and go the extra mile to prevent it
If you’ve messed up, clear your conscience by apologizing & asking for forgiveness from God and others…and by actively making it up to them and making restitution where necessary. Always ask yourself, “if someone hurt me the same way I hurt them, how would I want them to apologize and make it up to me?”
Research character traits and purposely develop one character trait each week or month (click here for a list: https://griefbites.com/2014/07/01/conflict-resolution-pt-3-75-character-qualities-that-can-change-your-life/ )
Expect a lot out of yourself in the areas of character, integrity, and how you treat others
Do unto others how you want done unto you
Develop empathy, compassion, and kindness
Quit judging others and have the courage to do your own self-work…and sort through your past and current baggage…so you’re a true joy to others

Developing character and integrity is a lifelong journey. Enjoy every moment of it. It will be one of the most challenging endeavors of your life, but it will also be one of the most rewarding.

Think of the difference you’ll make in not only your own life, but more importantly, in every life around you.

You’ll look back on life, and be so very grateful for the great life you created.

Your one beautiful, courageous, wild, marvelous, gorgeous life. Create wisely…you only get one!

❤️If you were encouraged by this post, please feel free to share it to encourage others!

⭐️For more encouragement:

❤️Making peace with God: http://peacewithgod.net

❤️Getting Your Breath Back After Life Knocks It Out of You (Kim’s book): Click here for book

❤️Connect on Facebook by “liking” page: http://www.facebook.com/GettingYourBreathBackAfterGrief

❤️Kim’s blog: http://www.griefbites.com

❤️FREE YouVersion reading plans:

1. Grief Bites: Finding Treasure In Hardships: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/912-grief-bites-finding-treasure-in-hardships

2. Grief Bites: Doubt Revealed: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/954-grief-bites-doubt-revealed

3. Grief Bites: A New Approach To Growing Through Grief https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/862-grief-bites

4. Grief Bites: Hope For The Holidays: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/1964-grief-bites-hope-for-the-holidays

5. Experiencing Holidays With Jesus: Christmas: http://bible.com/r/3V5

6. Experiencing Holidays With Jesus: Happy New Year!: http://bible.com/r/3Zv

7. Valentine’s Day: Experiencing Holidays With Jesus: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/14059-valentines-day-experiencing-holidays-with-jesus

⭐️All content on the Grief Bites blog and website is copyright protected material. Please ask for permission to copy, use, or print.

🌷

The Dark Candle ~ Resolving Guilt After The Death Of A Loved One

Oct31

When someone you greatly love and cherish dies, life can be a challenge.

A challenge to find joy again.

A challenge not to cry every day.

A challenge to enjoy others.

A challenge to relax by doing your previous favorite activities.

A challenge to figure out how to live life at all.

After my sister passed away, life became a true challenge. I felt absolutely horrible guilt that I couldn’t help her…that I didn’t notice how sick she truly was…that we had a bad argument a few months before she passed away…that I was so busy preparing for thanksgiving that I didn’t visit her the few days she was in the hospital.

My sister and I were extremely close; in fact, she was my best friend. The heartache and intense guilt I felt after she died plagued my heart for years. As I cried out to God to help me through my grief…and to release me from the unrelenting guilt and pain…God was so good to answer my prayers.

My life and the way I process grief has never been the same since.

As I was seeking God for His help, a thought came into my heart, “Your sister doesn’t hold anything against you. What may have bothered her on earth, does not even remotely bother her in Heaven. She knows how much you love her, and she knows if you would have known how ill she was, you would’ve come to the hospital. She loves you and she forgives you. Your sister loved life! She’d want you to enjoy and love life, too, so do so in her honor.”

After sensing this in my heart, my eyes flooded with tears. Ever since that day, I have truly tried my best to celebrate life, love my family, and honor my sister and other loved ones to my greatest ability.

When grief enters your life, you are left to work through all of the tough emotions. You grieve not just the person, instead you grieve every facet of that person and all they meant to you. And it takes time.

I’d like to share a story with you. As you read the following story, keep in mind that during grief, there will be tears – absolutely! – they are a very normal and healthy part of grief. And you don’t always have control of when grief will hit you since grief is much like the ocean’s water…sometimes the water is calm and beautiful, but other times, the water is extremely rocky and torrential.

As you read this story, listen to your heart and truly know that your loved one loves you so very much! They love you for all the ways you loved and cared for them while they were here on earth…and they treasure and love you for all of the ways you honor and remember them daily. They hold nothing against you…they wish you love, peace, comfort, and joy.

I hope this story brings your heart the comfort and peace you so desperately deserve. May God bring your heart healing, love, and all of the good things that life has to offer! You’re going to make it through this!

❤️Gratitude & blessings,
Kim

The Dark Candle

A man had a little daughter – an only and much beloved child. He lived for her ~ she was his life. So when she became ill and her illness resisted the efforts of the best obtainable physicians, he became like a man possessed, moving heaven and earth to bring about her restoration to health.

His best efforts proved unavailing and the child died. The father was totally irreconcilable. He became a bitter recluse, shutting himself away from his many friends and refusing every activity that might restore his poise and bring him back to his normal self. But one night he had a dream. He was in Heaven, and was witnessing a grand pageant of all the little child angels. They were marching in an apparently endless line past the Great White Throne. Every white-robed angelic tot carried a candle. He noticed that one child’s candle was not lighted. Then he saw that the child with the dark candle was his own little girl. Rushing to her, while the pageant faltered, he seized her in his arms, caressed her tenderly, and then asked: “How is it, darling that your candle alone is unlighted? His sweet daughter lovingly replied, “Father, they often relight it, but your tears always put it out.”

Just then he awoke from his dream. The lesson was crystal clear, and its effects were immediate. From that hour on he was not a recluse, but mingled freely and cheerfully with his former friends and associates. No longer would his little darling’s candle be extinguished by his useless tears.

Written by Strickland Gillian

I pray this story brought comfort and great encouragement to your heart. May God bless you today and always!

❤️If you were encouraged by this post, please feel free to share it to encourage others!

For more encouragement:

❤️Making peace with God: http://peacewithgod.net

❤️Kim’s blog: http://www.griefbites.com

❤️Connect on Facebook by “liking” page: http://www.facebook.com/GettingYourBreathBackAfterGrief

❤️Getting Your Breath Back After Life Knocks It Out of You (Kim’s book): Click here for book

❤️FREE YouVersion reading plans:

1. Grief Bites: Finding Treasure In Hardships: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/912-grief-bites-finding-treasure-in-hardships 

2. Grief Bites: Doubt Revealed: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/954-grief-bites-doubt-revealed 

3. Grief Bites: A New Approach To Growing Through Grief https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/862-grief-bites 

4. Grief Bites: Hope For The Holidays: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/1964-grief-bites-hope-for-the-holidays

An Important Prayer For Families & Marriages ~ Especially When Hurting

Sep1

As I was enjoying my quiet time with God today, He placed the importance of family on my heart. The information I’ll be sharing is vital – possibly even life & relationship changing – so get comfy in a chair and allow this to speak to your heart. This may be the most important post someone reads today. ❤️

If short on time, please feel free to skip to the prayer in bold below.

I once heard a quote: “Family isn’t just an important thing…it’s the most important thing.”

As I’ve walked through grief and life challenges, I have found it to be truer than I ever thought. My family has loved me…encouraged me…carried me through tough times…cared enough to make the best memories with me…corrected me when I needed it…been there for me…they’re my absolute favorite people on earth.

Family is a gift…an extraordinary gift…even if family members don’t always act like one (ourselves included). Families can hurt one another…get too busy…be thoughtless at times…or miss the mark. Any human relationship is flawed. That’s why we need God and prayer.

Family. is. worth. it!

Family (God, grandparents, parents, siblings, spouse, children, in-laws…yes, even out-laws, aunts, uncles, cousins, church family, etc)…are the precious people who have been personally chosen and handpicked by God Himself for us to do life with. To mistreat or reject them is to mistreat and reject God.

But what if your spouse or family (or church family) has wounded your heart? What about the times a spouse or family member rejects, dishonors, or mistreats us? Let’s go deep and honest here: what about the times we’ve failed or hurt others, too?

Just like marriage, family relationships are designed to make us more holy than happy…to build our character more than our comfort — ultimately, family is designed to make us more like Christ. We shortchange ourselves (and what God can accomplish in us and our loved ones’ lives) when we merely throw our hands up in the air and refuse to care or repair disagreements, hurts, or what’s been damaged or strained.

Of course, God’s perfect design is for families to treat each other right…to bring each other joy…to live in harmony with one another…to learn from each other…to help one another…to comfort one another…be loyal to each other…to protect one another. Even the Bible says when someone continually causes conflict or hurts, this can separate even the closest of brothers. There are so many facets and responsibilities God has entrusted to us by giving us the gift of family.

This includes making things right when we’ve done wrong. When we drop the ball of family, or fail in our responsibility – any gift in life has responsibilities – we can create a huge mess. In fact, conflict comes when we (or a family member) fails to do the above.

Every problem in life, and even in the world, is directly because someone has failed to be responsible or failed to treasure, respect, love, or value God, another person, or themselves.

Ultimately, when we fail to do our part (our responsibility in our God-given relationships) or we fail to care about God’s design for marriage or family, we truly can do a lot of harm to God’s heart and one another. Where there is conflict (or problems)…it is completely linked to not obeying or honoring God and His precious Word…and failing to treat others well.

Even under normal circumstances, life and relationships can present normal challenges…but today, due to the pandemic, financial challenges, and the social/political climate we live in, marriages and families are going through even tougher times. It is so important to seek God’s help and deeply pray.

There are true enemies of family and marriage these days…and the goal of the enemy is to kill, steal, and destroy God-given relationships … (John 10:10, Ephesians 6:12) … It is so important to realize the warfare at hand…or we can continually react to those we love best. Eventually, families and spouses can tear each other apart…even destroy one another…if wisdom and understanding are not applied (Galatians 5:15).

We need to deeply realize: Conflict in marriage/family is spiritual warfare. Divorce is spiritual warfare. Problems with in-laws is spiritual warfare. Adultery is spiritual warfare. Rebellion is spiritual warfare. Not being respectful and responsible in your marriage and family relationships is spiritual warfare. Failing to genuinely love your spouse is spiritual warfare. Failing to make time for family is spiritual warfare. Choosing not to love, cherish, and put your children’s needs above your own is spiritual warfare. Addiction is spiritual warfare. Not loving, respecting, and honoring parents or family members is spiritual warfare.

So how did everything get so messed up? One. choice. at. a. time. How does each spouse or family member repair the damage that has been done – and prevent future conflict and harm? Same thing – one. choice. at. a. time.

It takes less time to get into a mess than it takes to clean it up…cleaning up relationships is rarely fun…but God will ask us to give an account one day of what we did with the gifts He blessed us with…especially how we treated Him and our loved ones.

The choices we make – whether positive or negative – do make a huge impact…especially on our loved ones. Our attitudes…our words…our actions…how we treat one another…our character…it all carries blessings or consequences.

We don’t live in a perfect world…so how do we create and maintain strong families and marriages when there are so many things fighting against this?

“Life,” grief, busy schedules, and day-to day stress can place a tremendous amount of pressure on marriages and families. Conflict is at an an all time high. So how can marriages and families heal … and grow?

Best line of defense – and offense – is prayer.

Of course, action has to back up each prayer…but when we entrust our marriage and family to the Lord, He is faithful to enrich and sustain our relationships with those we love best. God loves us and is for us. He loves our family members more than we do. With God, all things are possible. Healing is possible.

Today, let’s dedicate our families and marriages to Him…for His good purpose. Let’s commit to daily praying for our marriages and families (as well as our homes and churches).

“Dearest Heavenly Father,

We thank You so very much for the gift of marriage and family!

Families and marriages are at an all time high of being attacked.

Life has sped up…there are so many activities and things that compete with You, as well as marriage and family time. May we always choose wisely and put our relationships with You and family first. Absolutely first! Refine our priorities, activities, finances, and time so we always put You, our family, and the “best yes” above everything else. Show us the activities and things we need to rid our lives of to clear our schedules and improve our priorities…give us the grace we need to actually act on this and effectively do it.

Help us to see what a tremendous gift You and family truly are. Help us to not only treat our spouse and family right…help us to greatly love and treasure them as You do. Help us avoid regrets.

Help us to be so very mindful of the condition of our hearts…our actions…our words…our attitudes…our love level…our choices. Especially when it comes to our relationship with You and family.

Please help us see the 90% of what’s right about our loved ones instead of focusing on the 10% of what may be wrong. Help us to see we are so in need of grace and mercy, too. Help us to pray for, speak, and encourage our loved ones’ potential instead of continually looking at or speaking their flaws. Help us to also be mindful that we are not perfect either…help us to be humble – take away our selfishness and pride – and fill us and our loved ones full of grace and the willingness to forgive.

Convict our hearts when – actually before – we are about to disobey You, or hurt You or our family.

Where there’s been conflict, May there now be harmony and genuine love.

Where there’s been judgment, May there now be grace and sincere prayers going up to heaven for family members and the hard things they’re facing in life.

Where there’s been backbiting or gossip, May there now be loyalty and encouragement – and deep prayers.

Where there’s addiction, May there now be conviction, grace, sobriety and a making up of precious time that has been lost.

Where there’s been any abusive behavior – spiritual, physical, mental, emotional, verbal, etc, May there now be repentance, tenderness, self-control, and kindness.

Where there’s been hard-heartedness or rejection, May there now be sincere love, willingness to forgive, and acceptance.

Where there’s been a disconnect, May there now be connection and a deep understanding of one another.

Where there’s been a turning away from God and faith, May there now be a sold-out love and iron-clad full devotion to You.

Where there’s been a lack of forgiveness, bitterness or resentment, May there now be mercy, grace, genuine concern, love, and forgiveness.

Where there’s been dishonor or disrespect, May there now be honor and consideration for one another’s feelings.

Where there’s been division, May there now be true restoration, peace and rich family fellowship.

Where we’ve focused on the problems, May we now focus on the solutions.

Where there’s been apathy or a lack of care, May there now be a willingness – a fervency – to do what’s right, love our family extravagantly, and care more than ever.

Help each of us to fully understand the great value and extravagant gift of You and family! May we never take You or family for granted.

Help us to choose our actions and words wisely – especially during hard times and when having tough conversations. Holy Spirit, guide our thoughts, actions, beliefs, and words.

May each of us seek to obey You in how we love and treat You and one another. Help us to richly strengthen our God-given relationships and homes so they are a sweet aroma and blessing to Your heart.

Heal us. Bless us. Equip us. Sustain us. Build up all of our relationships with You and our family members.

May we seek to be a blessing and a source of love and encouragement in everything we do.

Ultimately, help us to see that all conflict originates from a lack of, a flawed, or hurting relationship with You…and that family and marriage conflict harms not just us, but Your reputation. Give us an abundant amount of wisdom and grace to be right with You! You are our greatest treasure! Never allow us to make our loved ones an idol or place them in front of You! Forgive us for the many times we’ve placed loved ones, activities, goals, or things above You. Life is meaningless if we don’t have You in it! May we first and foremost heal our relationship with You and love and deeply treasure You above all!

We look forward to seeing how You will “work all things together for our good” in our relationship with You, our marriages and families as we seek Your heart, trust You, and love You most.

Please abundantly bless each person who is praying for their family today! Please answer their heart’s cry and prayers. We ask You to heal, restore, and do more than we can ask, think, or imagine!

We love You so much and ask all of these things in Jesus’ precious name, Amen!”

To all who are reading this, God’s got you! He’s got your loved ones! He loves you and your loved ones so very much!

Praying God richly blesses you and your loved ones today!

Here are a few other blog posts on conflict resolution to encourage your heart:

https://griefbites.com/2014/06/18/10102-resolving-conflict-with-20-questions-2-commitments/

https://griefbites.com/2014/06/26/conflict-resolution-during-grief-pt-2/

https://griefbites.com/2014/07/01/conflict-resolution-pt-3-75-character-qualities-that-can-change-your-life/

https://griefbites.com/2015/12/31/22-questions-that-can-powerfully-change-your-life-transform-your-regrets-daily/

https://griefbites.com/2016/12/30/making-2017-your-best-year-yet-43-ways-to-delight-in-god/

https://griefbites.com/2021/10/07/what-to-do-in-tough-situations-when-youve-done-all-you-can/

Perhaps you’re reading this today and you’d like to get to know God better. Maybe you’d like to make peace with God and allow Him to make a difference in your heart, your marriage, or your family. He’s made all the difference in my life! Please allow me to introduce you to my Best Friend: http://www.peacewithgod.net

Gratitude & blessings,

Kim

PS – It would be irresponsible of me to not say: Certainly, if there is blatant disregard or legitimate abuse, it is important to seek wise counsel from a pastor or Bible-based therapist to help create wise boundaries. There is a big difference between someone doing evil and normal human/family error. I believe 99% of issues can be worked out…and with God’s help, can be worked out…but nobody should subject themselves to anything illegal or harmful. If there is sexual or physical abuse…addictions…anything that could put someone in jail…legitimate safety concerns…or ongoing adultery…that’s never to be overlooked, ignored, or condoned. Seeking help is much needed.

❤️If you were encouraged by this post, please share it to encourage others!

⭐️For more encouragement:

❤️Getting Your Breath Back After Life Knocks It Out of You (Kim’s book): https://www.christianbook.com/getting-knocks-transparent-journey-seeking-through/k-b-h-niles/

❤️Connect on Facebook by “liking” page: https://www.facebook.com/GettingYourBreathBackAfterGrief

❤️Kim’s blog: https://www.griefbites.com

❤️FREE YouVersion reading plans:

1. Grief Bites: Finding Treasure In Hardships: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/912-grief-bites-finding-treasure-in-hardships

2. Grief Bites: Doubt Revealed: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/954-grief-bites-doubt-revealed

3. Grief Bites: A New Approach To Growing Through Grief https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/862-grief-bites

4. Grief Bites: Hope For The Holidays: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/1964-grief-bites-hope-for-the-holidays

5. Experiencing Holidays With Jesus: Christmas: http://bible.com/r/3V5

6. Experiencing Holidays With Jesus: Happy New Year!: http://bible.com/r/3Zv

7. Valentine’s Day: Experiencing Holidays With Jesus: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/14059-valentines-day-experiencing-holidays-with-jesus

❤️Making peace with God: http://www.peacewithgod.net

⭐️All content on the Grief Bites blog and website is copyright protected material. Please ask for permission to copy, use, or print.

“You’re SO bitter!” ~what to say & NOT say to someone going through a tough time

Apr20

I frequently have people share with me, “I’m going through a tough situation and I’m not bitter…I’m just very hurt.”

If you’ve ever gone through a tough situation, then you “get it” and know exactly what I’m talking about. You understand the difference between being deeply wounded vs. being bitter.

Everybody at some point will go through an extremely trying event in life that will threaten to leave them very bitter.

I’ve been through times like this and they are not fun…not at all. These times can be extremely tough to get through. The last one I went through took me quite awhile to process and thoroughly forgive.

I don’t understand why, but times like this usually bring people to the surface who compound your grief.

Usually, someone will callously say to a wounded person, “You sure are bitter“…or they will piously say “Have you considered your need to forgive?”…or some other hurtful cliché that seems oh-so-right to the one making the comment, but causes much deeper pain to the person who is already going through – and trying to process – forgiveness and grief.

When you (or a loved one) goes through a really bad situation, it can leave you:

•deeply hurt or offended

•frustrated or devastated by people in the situation

•angry at any injustice that took place

•truly disappointed in many people’s actions or reactions – and if we’re being real here, it can leave you disgusted by people’s lack of action and compassion

When I’ve been through times like this, I was able to initially forgive as an act of my will out of obedience…but my heart, well, that was another matter. That can truly take self-work depending on how bad the situation is.

There are also many variables. Variables such as:

•what other people are involved?

•are they willing to do the “right thing”?

•is everybody involved willing to work out the situation in an honorable way?

•can there be closure…or will the situation have no resolution?

•if major loss occurred, are people willing to make restitution or set things right?

There are so many variables that will ultimately be a guide for a timeline of healing to take place.

Being bitter and being wounded are not the same thing…and sometimes, people need time to process tough situations, come to terms with how they (or a loved one) were wronged or treated, and then they will need the opportunity — and time — to grow through the situation, and process their loss, so they are able to genuinely forgive the people involved who were hurtful or offensive.

They may even go through a time of questioning God or His goodness depending on how devastating or impactful the grief experience has been on them.

Respect their grief and love them.

They need time to come to a place of true forgiveness and peace.

Consider this: if a house burns down, you don’t instantly get a new house the very next day or week. You more than likely will only be able to thoroughly rebuild a house within 6-12 months time. You then will begin the process of refurnishing the new home.

Even if you were given a brand new house, you still will go through a period of time where you will mourn the loss of the original house…and will even have periodic reminders of all that was lost.

When you go through great loss…whether it’s the loss of a person, the loss of a marriage, the loss of a romantic relationship or friendship, the loss of your health or a job, a wounding situation, a situation of adultery or betrayal, or any other situation of significant loss…it takes time to get through it. It takes time to rid yourself of negative thoughts and emotions and refurnish your spirit, heart and mind with forgiveness, positivity, and peace.

That’s not being bitter – that’s processing heartache or deep disappointment and being NORMAL.

Grief is not a cookie cutter, clean-cut event with crisp, clear lines. Each person will respond differently and each will process the grief event very differently…even if it is the exact same grief event.

The greater the love, the greater the grief…and the greater the love, sacrifice, or investment, the longer it will take to process grief.

If you permanently sit down, quit, and allow the situation to thoroughly destroy you, then, yes, bitterness can overtake your heart. Most people do go through a period of time where they initially feel deeply hurt or defeated…absolutely…but they will eventually start to work through and process the pain from the situation and experience genuine growth.

It takes time.

So before harshly judging someone who has been through (or is going through) a life-altering event or super tough time, please consider the effect that words, thoughts, and actions can have towards the one who is in deep pain.

So what can you say or do?

Don’t say:

•you are so bitter

•you need to immediately forgive

•aren’t you over it yet??

•why do you keep talking about it?

Do say:

•how can I help?

•I am here for you

•I’m sorry you are hurting so badly

•I imagine you are very hurt

Don’t:

•ignore, avoid, or abandon the person

•become irritated

•stop being there for them

•act rude or ugly towards them

•pass judgement on them

•be holier-than-thou

•piously or unthinkingly force scripture onto them…use extreme wisdom and make sure it truly reflects God’s love for them

Do:

•genuinely and frequently pray for them

•encourage them to work through the situation with God (only say this if you are invested in them and you are close to them)

•be there for them

•allow them to vent

•”put” yourself in their situation and develop true empathy for them — consider how you would feel if you were going through what they’re painfullygoing through

I hope these tips help and encourage everybody to truly be there for their family and friends who are processing deep hurt or grief.

Remember: a person going through a major grief event is truly not trying to be difficult, sulky, or a pain, they’ve had their entire world ripped apart and are desperately trying to process their pain so they can begin to rebuild their life. Grant them the compassion, unconditional love, mercy, and freedom they need so they can genuinely do so — free from judgment, guilt, and further complications or hardship.

When you truly invest in, encourage, and unconditionally love others, you are most like Christ than any other time.

When in doubt, always ask yourself, “how would God want me to love, minister to, and treat them?”

As you help others, be the love and compassion today that you would want to receive in the future when you go through a super tough time.

Ultimately, if you are the one who is hurting today, go to God and seek His help. He knows every detail of what you are going through…and He holds the exact encouragement, help, and solutions you need to successfully make it through to a place of peace.

Gratitude & many blessings,
Kim

❤️If you were encouraged by this post, please feel free to share it to encourage others!

For more encouragement:

❤️Making peace with God: http://peacewithgod.net

❤️Kim’s blog: http://www.griefbites.com

❤️Connect on Facebook by “liking” page to receive daily encouragement: http://www.facebook.com/GettingYourBreathBackAfterGrief

❤️Getting Your Breath Back After Life Knocks It Out of You (Kim’s book): Click here for book

❤️FREE YouVersion reading plans:
1. Grief Bites: Finding Treasure In Hardships: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/912-grief-bites-finding-treasure-in-hardships

2. Grief Bites: Doubt Revealed: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/954-grief-bites-doubt-revealed

3. Grief Bites: A New Approach To Growing Through Grief https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/862-grief-bites

4. Grief Bites: Hope For The Holidays: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/1964-grief-bites-hope-for-the-holidays

Mourning Someone Who Is Still Alive: 10 Ways To Weather The Storm

Mar20

Most grief recovery efforts naturally include helping grievers to mourn loved ones who have died…but what if the person you are mourning is still alive?

To have once enjoyed a great, solid, rich relationship with a loved one—and then no longer have a good relationship (or to then have a drastically changed relationship or no relationship at all)—this terribly and horribly breaks a heart in a very unique, painful way.

When drastic change occurs, or a difficult situation or relationship develops, it can cause excruciating heartache, loss, and sadness. It truly can feel as though someone you deeply love has died, and you are forced to go through a silent funeral inside of your heart every single day.

There are many reasons why this can happen:

Spouses commit adultery or file for divorce, or a significant other leaves or betrays you
Children react to parents due to divorce or co-parenting challenges…sometimes parents react back
A parent has an affair or gets remarried and then chooses to distance or remove themselves from the relationship with their child(ren)
Children react to an adulterous affair a parent had or children react to how the affair victim/parent handled an affair
A loved one battles debilitating mental illness, severe depression, dementia, Alzheimer’s, or a loved one goes through the longterm effects of a traumatic brain injury or serious injury— and these circumstances completely change the dynamics of the relationship
Parents react to children and children react to parents on “life” issues, moral decisions, or spiritual issues
A parent, step parent, or other family member spitefully pits a child, parent, step parent or family member against one another
Custody or visitation issues, foster care challenges, or family conflicts cause deep heartache…even estrangement
Spouses return home deeply wounded emotionally, physically, spiritually or mentally from serving in the military…or spouses betray the spouse who is away serving
A spouse, child, or family member goes through a serious medical challenge, experiences deep grief, or another terrible life event or life challenge and they drastically change or become a completely different person
Parents abandon their children, and/or children rebel against or abandon their parents
Siblings, or other family members, deeply change and are no longer close
A family member battles addiction—or another stronghold or wrong thinking—and you can’t get through to them
Relationship issues due to mistreating or reacting to one another…and one or both people aren’t willing to repair or improve things
An adult child can enter into a romantic relationship (or marriage) and their parent doesn’t approve or isn’t willing to respect their child’s partner, spouse, and/or marriage…or vice versa
Friendships heartbreakingly dissolve
Physical, mental, or emotional abuse issues create hardships, family division, and heartache
A family relationship, friendship, or church relationship dissolves due to a betrayal, a lack of understanding, conflict, or deep hurts
Family members or in-laws are mistreated due to another family members/in-laws dysfunction
Bitterness and an unwillingness to forgive or work on the relationship takes root
Some sever ties to “make a point” or to intentionally inflict heartache in reaction to their own pride or pain
A family member becomes a prodigal

A sibling, parent, child or other family member marries someone who isn’t respectful of sibling/parent/child/family relationships…so to avoid arguing with their romantic partner, they choose to “keep the peace,” and choose their significant other over longterm relationships…or a parent chooses their significant other over their children

Ultimately, a lack of respect, genuine love, honor, boundaries, and commitment – and ultimately a lack of good character – can wreck major havoc on relationships and families
Lots and lots of other reasons

Anytime a relationship changes for the worse, abruptly changes, or becomes fractured or shattered, it is very, very painful. And many times, the result is to feel helpless, as though you have run out of options.

When this happens, what can you do?

Pray. Pour your heart out to God and ask for Him to intervene in the relationship and situation. Pray God touches your loved ones heart…pray God will show them a deep love for them, Him, (and you), and conviction for any sin that is in their life. Pray God pours His love, kindness, and provision into their life…anything that will help them to realize how much God and you love them.
Possibly prepare for God to ask you to make a change or to do something uncomfortable.
As much as depends on you, apologize and ask for forgiveness for your part…knowing that the other person may never humble their self by apologizing back to you.
Place your loved one and the entire situation in God’s Hands….and take your hands off (and out of) the situation. Realize God can do more in one MOMENT than you could ever hope to do in an entire LIFETIME.
KEEP YOUR NOSE CLEAN…meaning, do the right thing and choose to show genuine love no matter what. Take the higher ground. Be completely loving, Christ-like, and kind. Close your mouth (this can be very hard to do!) and do your God-given responsibilities. This will be extremely hard, but remember: God’s got this! He needs for you to reflect His character, love, and glory. It will be very helpful to memorize and recite these scriptures when you’re tempted to put your hands back in the situation or for the times you’re tempted to not keep your nose clean: Exodus 14:14, Ephesians 6:11-13, 1 Samuel 17:47, Psalm 34:18. This does NOT mean be a doormat, but for God to accomplish His greatest work, it’s very important to get out of God’s way and to fully obey God.
Seek and find what helps to heal your heart. It might be going to therapy, talking to a pastor, or working through all of the emotions and grieving through your tough situation.
Have faith and fully expect God to work in the situation. It may or may not be how you had in mind, but God will definitely be working in the situation (and working out the best outcome) as you genuinely trust in Him to do so.
Ask God to provide you with a strong, loving support system: trusted family, trusted friends, trusted pastors/counselors, trusted support groups/biblical community…keyword here is TRUSTED. To get through the toughest times in life, a strong support system is vital. Accountability partners can also be very important. Work on yourself and do your own self-work with the Lord’s help. Consider your individual relationship with the Lord, your joy and life purpose apart from the situation, consider your part in the situation, look soberly at your own faults and possible blind spots – both in and out of the situation, and seek to improve yourself as you love and serve God to the fullest as you wait on Him. (Psalm 46:10, Matthew 6:9-15, Matthew 6:33-34, Proverbs 3:5-6)
. There is a huge difference between peacemaking/compromise and allowing yourself to be manipulated/degraded. God never made anyone to be a doormat. For a relationship to be healthy, both people need to do the right thing. Relationships are like a swinging door… If it’s constantly opening for one person, but slamming shut in the other persons face, that’s never going to work long-term. Be careful allowing yourself to be degraded instead of creating healthy compromise. If genuine repentance and change do not occur, you’re always going to have conflict. It will just be a different situation and a different circumstance. Heart change is needed for lasting results... otherwise you’re just putting a Band-Aid on something that they’re gonna rip off and hurt you again.
Delight in God (Psalm 37:4). When we go through hardships, it becomes easy to become impatient, worry, have anxiety, or become fearful or bitter. We can even be tempted to doubt God’s goodness or become greatly upset with Him. God has a better way! Delight yourself in God, learn to trust and lean on Him, and extravagantly love Him as He carries you through your grief and the storm you are in the middle of. He knows your heart, loves your heart (and knows and loves your loved one’s heart!), and no matter what happens in your situation, He will carry you, heal your broken heart, and love you back to life…no matter what! He will NEVER leave you!! In fact, other than our relationship with our own self, God is the ONLY relationship we are guaranteed to continually have here on earth. We can NEVER lose His love!

Allow God to positively change your heart through the process…and whether your situation or relationship changes for the better or not…eventually use your situation to wisely help and encourage others. You are going to be an absolute TREASURE to someone else who will be walking through a similar tough relationship situation. Learn as much as you can through your situation TODAY so you can encourage and help others in the present or FUTURE. God never wastes grief. There is always good that can grow out of it.

Whatever situation or relationship you are grieving or experiencing deep heartache in, please realize there is hope! I agree with you in prayer for God to heal, encourage, and help you and your loved one(s) through whatever you are going through. I pray God works mightily in each relationship, heart, mind, spirit, and situation! If a positive outcome is not possible due to a permanent, toxic, or debilitating situation, I pray God grants you the gifts of grace and His peace that passes understanding…and the ability to truly press forward and heal. God DOES love you, He greatly values you, and He already knows how He plans to help you – and every situation of grief you are facing or will ever face!

Even if a relationship never finds peace or reconciliation again, realize it does NOT diminish your value. Before you were ever a family member, spouse, child, parent, or a friend, you were God’s. He will always unconditionally love you, because you are totally valuable and “enough” to Him. Yes, you will go through incredible heartache if reconciliation does not take place, but God will be there for you every single day—especially on your toughest days!

There is always hope and your life is precious! Please never forget that!❤️

Gratitude, healing, love, & many blessings,
Kim

❤️If you were encouraged by this post, please feel free to share it to encourage others!

⭐️For more encouragement:

🎄Making peace with God: http://peacewithgod.net

❤️Getting Your Breath Back After Life Knocks It Out of You (Kim’s book): Click here for book

⭐️Connect on Facebook by “liking” page: http://www.facebook.com/GettingYourBreathBackAfterGrief

🎄Kim’s blog: http://www.griefbites.com

❤️FREE YouVersion reading plans:

1. Grief Bites: Finding Treasure In Hardships: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/912-grief-bites-finding-treasure-in-hardships

2. Grief Bites: Doubt Revealed: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/954-grief-bites-doubt-revealed

3. Grief Bites: A New Approach To Growing Through Grief https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/862-grief-bites

4. Grief Bites: Hope For The Holidays: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/1964-grief-bites-hope-for-the-holidays

5. Experiencing Holidays With Jesus: Christmas: http://bible.com/r/3V5

6. Experiencing Holidays With Jesus: Happy New Year!: http://bible.com/r/3Zv

7. Valentine’s Day: Experiencing Holidays With Jesus: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/14059-valentines-day-experiencing-holidays-with-jesus

⭐️All content on the Grief Bites blog and website is copyright protected material. Please ask for permission to copy, use, or print.

🎄❤️🎄

Important Questions To Powerfully Change & Transform Your Life & Regrets Daily

Dec31

Life is a gift! Sometimes, due to our own choices, the decisions of loved ones, or due to a major grief event, it may not feel like a gift at times.

Life is a gift, though, that offers so much…if we will only to choose to unwrap it daily.

Throughout life, we each have to look in the mirror and come to terms with what we choose/chose to do with the gift life has to offer —past, present, and future.

No one has a goal of looking in the mirror…at any point…and saying to the reflection staring back at them, “I sure am grateful I wasted time and opportunities! I just love that I allowed others to defeat my heart…and I love the awful consequences I’m experiencing because of my ridiculous choices…I am so thrilled with the pain my choices have brought upon my loved ones…or I’m so happy I allowed myself to be defeated by grief or life challenges.

Nobody in their right mind would say or want to admit these things…

…yet so many of the regrets and guilt we face in life can be prevented. We have a powerful opportunity each and every day to purposely ask important life questions that can bless our life choices.

We each have the powerful ability to create a great life…a life we love to live each day – regardless of circumstances.

Everybody will go through multiple grief experiences and hardships, some even self-inflicted, throughout their lifetime.
Some grief experiences are natural to go through in life, while others are due to foolish or unthought out decisions by us or others.

Some people were gravely warned by loved ones to not make the choices they made; others had no training in life and genuinely had no one to care about their life choices. Some had a pretty big inkling their choice wasn’t wise…but they wanted what they wanted at the time. Some were blindsided. Some knew better; others truly didn’t.

Just because someone has made a poor choice doesn’t mean they’re disposable or not redeemable – and it doesn’t mean they are doomed to have a terrible life. I think when people make poor choices, that’s when they need encouragement the most! A setback is the perfect time to purposely setup and create a better life!

A G-R-E-A-T life!

Everybody has a unique opportunity each morning: they have the amazing ability and gift of making better decisions – so they can start making choices that truly count from this day forward.

As a grief specialist, I hear story after story after story of hardships people go through…stemming from “life” happenings, as well as their own choices, and also the decisions of others. I constantly try to help each person find the genuine healing they so desperately need. Once they find out how to heal and create a better life—a life they can truly enjoy living—their entire existence transforms.

Changing one’s life for the better is a process of asking one’s self the right questions so they can begin to make good decisions in response to those questions.

Just like grief is never a cookie cutter experience, life is never a one-size-fits-all experience either. Each person’s life is as unique as they are.

Making solid decisions takes practice and a lot of cultivating, digging, growth, and nurturing of one’s heart and thoughts. All change initially begins as a solid decision…and then blossoms into a series of good, solid choices that continually need to be chosen on an ongoing basis. After awhile, the good choices develop into better choices, and then the better choices turn into the best choices.

Remember: this is your personal life journey between you and God. Each question will reveal a highly personal, customized answer.

Here are some of my favorite questions I ask myself so I can make wise decisions, learn more each day, and continue to make the best possible choices everyday:

•What can I do today to purposely grow my relationships with God and my family so these relationships are the strongest and healthiest they can be?

•What can I purposely do, or not do, so I don’t waste my day or waste my time?

•What do I need to prevent doing today so I can grow more and live life to the fullest?

•Who can I show love, mercy, and compassion to today? Who do I need to show empathy for by seeing life through their eyes? (For ideas: https://griefbites.com/2014/10/18/7-things-to-realize-about-someone-going-through-a-hard-time/ )

•What one dream or goal can I work toward (or continue to work toward) today?

•Who can I help to be successful today?

•What one purpose-filled action today would make me live life as lovingly and vibrantly as possible?

•What one choice today would bring me the most healing—spiritually, emotionally, and physically?

•How can I purposely grow through my current (and past) grief/life challenges?

•What one thought today could override as much negativity as possible?

•Who can I choose to bless today in a way that would make the greatest difference in their life?

•What one foolish habit or sin can I purpose to avoid and overcome today to bring the most spiritual, mental, emotional, or physical wellness to me and my loved ones?

•What one person do I need to forgive today to lighten my heart? (Read this if you have been deeply wounded: https://griefbites.com/2015/04/20/wounded-7-steps-to-free-your-soul/ )

•What one person do I need to apologize to and ask to forgive me?

•What topic or situation do I need to give to God and come to peace about today…what do I need to make right, cultivate, “let go” of, or remove to have optimal peace and joy? What do I need to change or accept so I can have peace?

•What one piece of wise advice can I take to heart today that has the capacity to change my life for the better? (This can either be past advice or recent advice)

•What one improvement (big or baby step) can I make today that I can be proud of?

•After deeply thinking about my everyday and longterm choices, and truly considering the present and future impact of those choices—as well as the consequences or blessings that can/will come into my life from my decisions—what do I need to do, or not do, today to prevent any future guilt, regrets, or damage?

•Who needs to hear me say, “I love you!” today? How can I love others better today than I did yesterday?

•Who can I show genuine appreciation to today? Who needs to hear me say, “Thank you!”?

•What one regret do I need to forgive myself for and let go of today? (Read here to find help for regrets: https://griefbites.com/2014/10/26/overcoming-regrets/ )

•What one topic will be the most beneficial to pray, journal, or blog about today?

•What one physical and/or mental exercise will offer the most stress reduction today?

•What one character quality can I learn about, develop, and work on today? (I focus on one character quality exclusively each week and seek to continually improve each quality thereafter…you can find ideas here: https://griefbites.com/2014/07/01/conflict-resolution-pt-3-75-character-qualities-that-can-change-your-life/ )

•How can I best love, serve, and delight in God today? How can I grow my friendship with Him? He’s the ONLY relationship on earth that we can NEVER lose…this is SO important! ( Please feel free to read this for encouragement: https://griefbites.com/2016/12/30/making-2017-your-best-year-yet-43-ways-to-delight-in-god/ )

All of these questions are for the purpose of creating the best life possible—even in spite of grief—and preventing future guilt and regrets. Each question has the powerful ability to better one’s life and to offer encouragement to live well.

What questions stuck out most to you? What resonated with you the most?

You can ask yourself one of these questions each day or all of them. It is so important to grow spiritually, emotionally, mentally, and in wellness every single day. Whether you take baby steps or an “all in” approach, it is always wise to continually better yourself and allow God to work mightily in your heart and life.

Why not make a list of your own questions to ask yourself and commit to growth every single day? What does life look like for you today? By making changes, choosing to change your thoughts for the better, or cultivating your heart, what can life look like for you in 1 month…1 year…5 years…10 years…or even 20 or more years?

We all have such phenomenal value and I think we sometimes forget or fail to fully realize that. We also forget to realize how powerfully God can use our lives to make a difference in our loved ones lives, as well as in the world.

Wishing everybody special times of self-reflection, making wise choices and changes, preventing guilt, potential damage, and regrets – and living life to the fullest!

Gratitude and many blessings,
Kim

❤️If you were encouraged by this post, please feel free to share it to encourage others!

⭐️For more encouragement:

❤️Making peace with God: http://peacewithgod.net

⭐️Getting Your Breath Back After Life Knocks It Out of You (Kim’s book): Click here for book

❤️Connect on Facebook by “liking” page: http://www.facebook.com/GettingYourBreathBackAfterGrief

⭐️Kim’s blog: http://www.griefbites.com

❤️FREE YouVersion reading plans:

1. Grief Bites: Finding Treasure In Hardships: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/912-grief-bites-finding-treasure-in-hardships

2. Grief Bites: Doubt Revealed: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/954-grief-bites-doubt-revealed

3. Grief Bites: A New Approach To Growing Through Grief https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/862-grief-bites

4. Grief Bites: Hope For The Holidays: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/1964-grief-bites-hope-for-the-holidays

5. Experiencing Holidays With Jesus: Christmas: http://bible.com/r/3V5

6. Experiencing Holidays With Jesus: Happy New Year!: http://bible.com/r/3Zv

7. Valentine’s Day: Experiencing Holidays With Jesus: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/14059-valentines-day-experiencing-holidays-with-jesus

⭐️All content on the Grief Bites blog and website is copyright protected material. Please ask for permission to copy, use, or print.

⭐️❤️

Grief Bites

Thoughts on grief, faith, health, hope, and life

Archives

An Important Thing To Remember During Grief

What To Do In Tough Situations When You’ve Done All You Can

Got Regrets?

Grief, Guilt, & Regrets

Have Questions for God?

To The Mom (Or Child) Who Is Hurting This Mother’s Day💗

Two Words That Can Change EVERYTHING

Grief: When No Closure Can Be Found

The Value of Anger in Grief

It’s always better to: Creating A Great Life

The Dark Candle ~ Resolving Guilt After The Death Of A Loved One

An Important Prayer For Families & Marriages ~ Especially When Hurting

“You’re SO bitter!” ~what to say & NOT say to someone going through a tough time

Mourning Someone Who Is Still Alive: 10 Ways To Weather The Storm

Important Questions To Powerfully Change & Transform Your Life & Regrets Daily

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