Grief is such an incredibly hard experience to go through. When a person loses a much treasured loved one, it can feel as though they lost their entire world.
Grief can bring a lot of surprises – I’ll be writing a blog post on this later – and one of those surprises is extreme stress on relationships.
This blog post will hopefully prevent damage to relationships — whether it’s between spouses, parent/child, family relationships, or friendships.
The topic is grief – specifically allowing each other to grieve in our/their own unique way. Just as we each have our own individual fingerprint and DNA…grieving is no different. No two people will grieve exactly the same.
When grieving as a family, it’s very important to remember each person will grieve in their own unique way, too.
Some will cry; some may not.
Some will desire to have a support system; others may wish to grieve primarily alone.
Some may enjoy reminiscing or looking at photos/home videos; others may presently find this to be far too painful.
Some may want to talk about their loved one; others may require time to be able to do that.
Allow each person to grieve in the way that best soothes their heart.
Accept family members for where they are in their grief process.
The most important thing is to openly communicate with one other, as you respect and care about each other’s hearts and needs.
Never make a loved one feel alone. Be there for one another and use this heartbreaking time to grow closer together. Empathy is key…each family member putting themselves in each other’s “shoes” — and caring about each other in the way they each need.
The enemy tries to tear loved ones apart during grief. Don’t fall for that Be there for one another. Too many get tied up into the folly of thinking loved ones should grieve exactly like them. Frustration and hurt…even eventually bitterness…can form when we assume or expect others to grieve in the same or similar way we do.
Grief is excruciatingly hard work. It is so unique and individual…totally not a cookie-cutter experience. Each person will need to ponder how to best walk through their journey…while also encouraging, loving, and supporting their loved ones who are also navigating grief.
Think of it this way: if you and your family members were all of a sudden dropped from a helicopter into uncharted territory, you’d stick together. It’s what would be best for survival. But…each person would have a different role. Same situation. Different emotions, perception, thoughts, ideas, and experience. Sometimes, you’ll go off individually to gather perhaps wood…food…water…but you come back together to help each other and best survive. Sometimes, discussions are needed; sometimes solitude. Sometimes, just support and encouragement are needed. Be empathetic, kind, thoughtful, and caring towards each other…and look for ways to help each other survive.
A good rule of thumb is this: As long as someone isn’t hurting God’s heart, a loved one’s heart, or their own heart/self…their grief is totally appropriate.
When you’re feeling heartbroken or stressed during grief, going to God to talk and share your heart and thoughts is vital, too. He already knows all of the details of the grief event…all that you are going through…all of the thoughts, emotions, conflicts, needs, worries, and struggles…and He loves and cares about us so very much. God is there 24/7…He is the best healer of our hurts and hearts. God already has a plan for how He will not only help us to survive…but to gain out of the heartache. God is the ultimate GPS when we land in the unchartered territory of grief.
Grief is a much easier burden to carry when shared with God, the people we love, and the people who love us best. Some may need to pour their heart out as they process their grief. For some, no words are necessary…in fact, they prefer not to talk about it much until they can come to terms with their heartache.
Tears – and hugs – are also a complete sentence and explanation when we choose to simply be there for one another.
Whatever is most comfortable, just let each other “breathe” and let one another know that you care about each other…that you’re there for each other during this incredibly hard time…and that you support one another’s individual grieving style.
You’ll make it through this…together.
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⭐️For more encouragement:
❤️Making peace with God: http://www.peacewithgod.net
❤️Getting Your Breath Back After Life Knocks It Out of You (Kim’s book):
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•Barnes & Noble: https://tinyurl.com/Barnes-and-Noble-book
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❤️Kim’s blog: https://www.griefbites.com
❤️FREE YouVersion reading plans:
1. Grief Bites: Finding Treasure In Hardships: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/912-grief-bites-finding-treasure-in-hardships
2. Grief Bites: Doubt Revealed: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/954-grief-bites-doubt-revealed
3. Grief Bites: A New Approach To Growing Through Grief https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/862-grief-bites
4. Grief Bites: Hope For The Holidays: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/1964-grief-bites-hope-for-the-holidays
5. Experiencing Holidays With Jesus: Christmas: http://bible.com/r/3V5
6. Experiencing Holidays With Jesus: Happy New Year!: http://bible.com/r/3Zv
7. Valentine’s Day: Experiencing Holidays With Jesus: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/14059-valentines-day-experiencing-holidays-with-jesus
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⭐️⭐️All content on the Grief Bites blog and website is for encouragement purposes only and is not in any way to be construed as medical, emotional, mental, relational, or psychological advice. We hope to serve as a bridge to encourage others by sharing our personal grief and life experiences. Please contact a qualified healthcare professional, mental health professional, or qualified pastor for guidance and advice.
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