Tag Archive | bereavement

My First Christmas In Heaven

Nov19

❤️🎄MY FIRST CHRISTMAS IN HEAVEN🎄❤️

I see the countless Christmas trees around the world below,  

With tiny lights, like Heaven’s stars, reflecting on the snow

The sight is so spectacular, please wipe away that tear. 

For I am spending Christmas with Jesus Christ this year.

I hear the many Christmas songs, that people hold so dear,

But the sounds of music can’t compare with the Christmas choir up here.

I have no words to tell you, the joy their voices bring, 

For it is beyond description, to hear the angels sing.

I can’t tell you of the splendor, Or the peace here in this place.

Can you just imagine Christmas, with our Savior face to face?

I’ll ask Him to light and comfort your spirit. As I tell Him of your love.

So then pray for one another, As you lift your eyes above.

Please let your heart be joyful, and allow your spirit to sing.

For I’m spending Christmas in Heaven, and I’m walking with the King.

I know how much you miss me, I see the pain inside your heart. 

But I am not so far away, We really aren’t apart.

So be happy for me, dear ones, You know I hold you dear. 

And be glad I’m spending Christmas with Jesus Christ this year.

I sent you each a special gift, from my heavenly home above. 

I sent you each a memory of my undying love.

After all, love is a gift more precious than pure gold. 

It was always most important in the stories Jesus told.

Please love and keep each other, just as my Father said to do. 

For I can’t count the blessings or the love He has for each of you.

So have a Merry Christmas and please wipe away that tear,

Remember, I am spending Christmas with Jesus Christ this year!

~Author Unknown

Praying everyone has a Christmas season filled with love, comfort, encouragement, and HOPE!

Gratitude & blessings,

Kim

❤️If you were encouraged by this post, please feel free to share it to encourage others!

⭐️For more encouragement:

🎄Making peace with God: http://peacewithgod.net

❤️Getting Your Breath Back After Life Knocks It Out of You (Kim’s book): Click here for book

⭐️Connect on Facebook by “liking” page: http://www.facebook.com/GettingYourBreathBackAfterGrief

🎄Kim’s blog: http://www.griefbites.com

❤️FREE YouVersion reading plans:

1. Grief Bites: Finding Treasure In Hardships: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/912-grief-bites-finding-treasure-in-hardships

2. Grief Bites: Doubt Revealed: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/954-grief-bites-doubt-revealed

3. Grief Bites: A New Approach To Growing Through Grief https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/862-grief-bites

4. Grief Bites: Hope For The Holidays: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/1964-grief-bites-hope-for-the-holidays

5. Experiencing Holidays With Jesus: Christmas: http://bible.com/r/3V5

6. Experiencing Holidays With Jesus: Happy New Year!: http://bible.com/r/3Zv

7. Valentine’s Day: Experiencing Holidays With Jesus: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/14059-valentines-day-experiencing-holidays-with-jesus

⭐️All content on the Grief Bites blog and website is copyright protected material. Please ask for permission to copy, use, or print.

⭐️⭐️All content on the Grief Bites blog and website is for encouragement purposes only and is not in any way to be construed as medical, emotional, mental, relational, or psychological advice. We hope to serve as a bridge to encourage others by sharing our personal grief and life experiences. Please contact a qualified healthcare professional, mental health professional, or qualified pastor for guidance and advice.

🎄❤️🎄

Rejoicing & Mourning

Nov6

Romans 12:15, “Rejoice with those who rejoice and mourn with those who mourn.”

Ahh! One of the most difficult verses to follow in the Bible! 

There are some people who rock when it comes to obeying this verse, but for some, it’s a verse that leaves them uncomfortably exposed. Most people fall somewhere in the middle.

Every person on earth will go through times of great rejoicing and great mourning. So why do people not actively choose to always rejoice or mourn with others?

We live in a world where people aren’t quite sure how to handle grief and deep mourning, and on the flip side, people resent the good in other’s lives—frequently turning towards jealousy instead of celebrating and rejoicing all of the good.

I think there’s many reasons, but four primary reasons stand out for both.

People don’t mourn with others because:

  1. It’s time consuming. It truly takes time and a selfless commitment to grieve with others and to genuinely care and be there for them throughout grief and the hardships they face in life.
  2. People are scared or uncomfortable. They don’t know what to say, what to do, or how to effectively help others who grieve. They also clearly understand that a similar grief event could happen to them or to their loved ones.
  3. It’s messy. Grief is messy business. The emotions people go through during grief, a life challenge, or a poor decision in life are very messy. People can act their worst and you never know what you’re going to get day-to-day.
  4. It exposes what’s in our own heart. When you’re helping another person, it truly reveals so much about ourself, our character, and our depth. As we help others to grow through grief or a hardship, it often forces us to be vulnerable and grow as well. And that can be very uncomfortable.

People don’t always celebrate with others because:

  1. Jealousy and envy. We see someone enjoy success and we wish we were being blessed in a same or similar way. Someone has it better than us or seems to enjoy life more, and instead of learning from them how to have a better life, we begrudge the goodness they’ve obtained.
  2. Things aren’t going well in our own lives. We see someone happy and we wish we held the same joy in our own life. We resent the hardships we’re experiencing and secretly wish our own lives were better. We may have lost someone or something special, such as a treasured loved one, job, health—it could be anything—and all we know is our life isn’t what we want it to be. Some things in life, we can change; other things, we can’t.
  3. It’s an irritating reminder that we aren’t committed to our own wellness or we aren’t creating/living our own “best life.” When we see the goodness in other’s lives, it rarely “just happened.” Majority of the time, a lot of work and sacrifice went into a person living out their dreams. If we put as much effort into our own wellness, success, or relationships…instead of begrudging another person…we’d see a similar amount of blessing in our own circumstances or life. Not always…but many times, we would. When I feel tempted to be jealous of another person, I’ve trained myself to immediately self-reflect and to look for places in my own life to improve. Nobody likes to be reminded that they weren’t true to their self or that they betrayed their self by not living out their best life possible. That’s the biggest reason people resent celebrating with others.
  4. We feel threatened. When people are living a great life, or good things are happening in other people’s lives, we can feel threatened. Competition mode sets in and nobody likes to feel inferior or like a failure.

The thing is…whether going through grief or great things in life, it all comes down to the heart. We can choose to have a good heart that rejoices with others and mourns with them, and take the time to learn from other people and their lives—or—we can choose to have a poor, undeveloped heart that refuses to rejoice and celebrate with others, or we can refuse to grow as we neglect our own self improvement.

A good heart realizes it must continually grow, so it can eventually experience good things in life; but a poor heart will choose to become bitter, hardened, and will eventually die a little bit more each and every day. The great thing is this: we all have the power to choose what kind of heart we will have, and we have the opportunity to better the lives of our family and friends, as well as our own heart and life every single day.

If everybody would follow Romans 12:15, what an incredible difference it would make inside homes, marriages, friendships, parenting, churches, workplaces, and, ultimately, in the world! We all would have the ability to live much richer, more enjoyable lives!

Romans 12:15 basically says: when good things happen in other’s lives, be happy for them, celebrating God’s goodness with them—be incredibly happy for the favor in their lives—and when people are hurting, fallen, or struggling, be there for them, encourage them, love on them, and HELP THEM UP. Love your family and friends back to life!

To do only one of these, makes life unbalanced. The world needs people who are willing and committed to doing both.

I like what Lysa TerQuerst says about rejoicing with others, “There’s enough space for all of us to thrive in our gifts. Whether you paint, do lettering, take photos, sing, write, speak, dance, decorate, give fashion advice, or any other artistic expression… Do you. The world needs your brand of beautiful. And the world needs the best version of you.

Don’t listen to the enemy’s wicked whispers. The enemy wants you to feel threatened, suspicious, and skeptical. Resistant to cheer another on who does the same thing as you. But here’s what I know for sure. When we don’t love and cheer on others, we start to shrink.  We have less to give. We hold back. And we become wilted and withered. It’s in the cheering on of another that we ourselves bloom and blossom and show we can be trusted with more beauty.”

How cool it is when everybody accepts…and cheers on…one another’s gifts, greatly rejoicing in all the good things that happen in their loved one’s lives, while taking the time to mourn with their family and friends, too!

When sad, tragic, and bad things happen in the lives of others, or they are deeply struggling, that’s the time a person most needs others to build them back up. We live in a world where people have a tendency to avoid those who hurt…sometimes even discarding, rejecting, or throwing them away…which adds to the hurting person’s heartache, discouragement, and pain.

Getting involved can be time consuming, but helping others and loving them is what life is primarily about. 

…And you never know when you may need someone to be there for you, because we all are literally one choice away from majorly changing our lives…for the good or for the bad.

When you go through grief, you understand the mourning part of the above mentioned bible verse on a much deeper level. God may even open your eyes today to people who have hurt in the past that you may not have been there for, or to others who are hurting right now and you can perceive it better…especially if they are going through a similar situation as you or a situation you or a loved one has been through in the past.

Rejoice with those who rejoice, help the broken, and mourn with those who mourn….These are some of the greatest situations and opportunities to TRULY be the most like Christ.

Love God, love others, especially at the greatest and the messiest times in others lives! The world needs more people who aren’t afraid of being inconvenienced by messy!

To celebrate and grieve with others are both ways of greatly honoring and showing deference to the people God has placed in our lives. When we show honor to others, we ultimately show honor to God—and food for thought—we also actively show others…especially the world…what we think about Him.

Who have you failed to rejoice with or mourn with? Take the time to contact them today and show honor to them. Actively care.

Who can you rejoice with and mourn with TODAY? Always seek to look for opportunities to rejoice with others and to mourn with others…every single day.

Be the love, celebration, mercy, encouragement, help, and compassion TODAY that YOU hope to receive TOMORROW!

We all will have experiences in life where we will need both rejoicing and mourning.

Choose to be a sincere rejoicer and genuine mourner in other people’s lives, and allow others to rejoice and mourn with you during your celebrations and losses today, too!

Gratitude & blessings,

Kim

©2015 Grief Bites. All rights reserved.


For more encouragement:

Blog: http://www.griefbites.com

Connect on Facebook by “liking” page: http://www.facebook.com/GettingYourBreathBackAfterGrief

Getting Your Breath Back After Life Knocks It Out of You (book): Click here for book

FREE YouVersion reading plans:

1. Grief Bites: Finding Treasure In Hardships https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/912-grief-bites-finding-treasure-in-hardships 

2. Grief Bites: Doubt Revealed https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/954-grief-bites-doubt-revealed 

3. Grief Bites: A New Approach To Growing Through Grief https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/862-grief-bites 

4. Grief Bites: Hope For The Holidays https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/1964-grief-bites-hope-for-the-holidays

Foolishness, Wisdom, Guilt, & Regrets

Oct15

“You can live life like there’s no tomorrow, but tomorrow is still there when you wake up, full of consequences.” – Lecrae 

Many have lived irresponsibly, foolishly, recklessly, or unthinkingly…only to realize they have brought a lot of loss into their own life, or worse, the lives of their loved ones. 

Every choice we make will bring either a blessing…or a consequence. Our choices become our greatest assets…or our greatest liabilities. 

Some choices bring about loss for a season, while other choices bring loss that will last a lifetime. 

This is why wisdom is so very important. God says He will give wisdom to all who ask Him for it. There is an entire book in the Bible that is filled with teachings on wisdom, discernment, knowledge, and understanding. The book of Proverbs teaches us how to live a good life—a solid life that is built on wisdom. 

You may not be able to go back in time to save yourself or others from a foolish decision you made in the past, but you do have the opportunity – starting today – to begin learning how to live a wise life. 

Start to consider the choices you make…from this day forward…and make the commitment to strive to make wise choices. 

When guilt or regrets come to mind? Use it as a signal to ask God to forgive you, make amends, and ultimately to choose and do better. Most of the poor decisions we make are made out of foolishness or a lack of understanding. If we KNEW better, we would have CHOSEN better. Give yourself some slack and some much needed grace…and then purposely become an intentional lifelong learner so you can then be freed up to make better choices.

Ask God for wisdom, understanding, and discernment to make good solid wise choices too…because good decisions are also a gift from Him. Also ask him for His grace and peace! 

Consider reading the entire book of Proverbs. It is a wealth of wisdom and knowledge to know how to live a wise and great life, as well as a life that pleases God which releases His favor and blessings.

If you read one chapter of Proverbs each day, you’ll read through the whole book of Proverbs (all 31 chapters) each and every month. 

You’ll be so glad you did!

©2015 Grief Bites

(from the FREE 60-Day YouVersion Bible reading plan, Grief Bites: A New Approach To Growing Through Grief)

For more encouragement, please feel free to check out all of the free Grief Bites devotionals on the YouVersion/Bible App: http://www.youversion.com

Kim’s book: Click here for book

Blog: http://www.griefbites.com

Facebook page: http://www.facebook.com/GettingYourBreathBackAfterGrief

When You Gain & Lose A Cherished Pet

Oct12

Every pet owner will always remember two specific days.

The first of the two days is a joyous one…you arrive at a shelter, a breeder’s house, or a pet store to meet an incredibly special friend. A friend who will love you unconditionally, make you smile and laugh countless times, and will bring a joy to your life you didn’t even realize was possible. They’ll look at you on the first day you meet them as if to say, “Choose me!” And after you see their big eyes and adorable spirit, you will choose them and bring them home.

After you bring them home, ah, the real fun begins! You get the sheer joy (RIGHT!) of potty training your cute furry lil bundle, crate training them, and teaching them what is acceptable behavior inside the house or outside in their new yard. The training is not much fun, but the sacrifices you make for your pet develops a bond…a sweet friendship…that stays between you and your pet forever. You become family!

The second of the two days a pet owner will always remember is the super sad day they lose their sweet fur baby. The loss of sweet companionship and unconditional love is very painful!

Pets have such an amazing capacity to love and are incredibly loyal. They can pick up on your emotions and truly have a way of making a bad day better…so when you lose your pet, and are going through a very bad day, their presence is greatly felt and missed.

I always say: Pets are God’s way of making up for all of the unpleasant people and events you’ll encounter in life.

For a pet owner, the more grief encounters you experience in life, the likelihood is your pet helped you through some really tough times.

Just for the record, and I HATE to admit this, I used to be that person…the person who didn’t appreciate pets. I found most pets, other than my childhood cat and dogs, very annoying. Then I met our newest pet…actually my adult son’s pet…and fell totally in love! Our family had been through a major grief experience last year and we were really hurting. My son asked me if I would like to puppy-sit and help train his new puppy, and, of course, I said yes! It meant I got to see my son every day!

My son’s new puppy was only three pounds when we got him for our son as a Christmas present. He was a rescue and we were told he was a Great Dane…but he ended up being a huge German Shepherd/American Staffordshire Terrier (Pitbull) mix. He’s now a sweet, feisty, fun, adorable, very large dog who thinks he’s a lapdog! And, yes, I call him my granddog! 🙂

As I helped my son train his puppy, I couldn’t believe how much healing this new lil family member brought to our family…and how he helped to heal my heart.

When I look at my son’s puppy, I sometimes think to myself, “Who rescued who?”

You think you’re rescuing a pet, but the pet ends up rescuing broken pieces of your own heart. I saw my son’s puppy bring my son and our family “back to life” after deep tragedy and heartache…and in return, my son’s dog has my love and respect. God orchestrated the details of my son’s puppy becoming a part of our family. It truly is incredible how all of the details came together in rescuing him. It’s a great, and long, story that I’ll share another time. It’s such a cool story that I told my son he ought to write a book about it. I am so very grateful God helped us to find him, though! I love all of our dogs and I’m grateful they’re a great big part of our daily life!

There’s probably someone who is reading this and rolling their eyes. I know, I know, I was once that person, too! But, I can also guarantee there are some who are reading this who “get” it and I hope they fondly take a few moments to remember their sweet forever friend. If they have pets still with them, I hope they’ll give them some extra treats and hugs today, too!

If you know of someone who has lost a cherished pet, please be compassionate to them. Don’t assume it was “just a pet.” As with all forms of grief, it takes time to move forward from a loss.

Today, I fondly remember the pets that made a difference in my life. All of my furry loved ones (a cat and several dogs) made growing up a lot of fun and it was great to have them as a part of my growing up years.

I highly recommend anyone who is going through grief to rescue a pet. Studies have shown that pets can ease depression and anxiety. Pets are very therapeutic! (www.helpguide.org/articles/emotional-health/the-health-benefits-of-pets.htm)

To all who have experienced the loss of a treasured pet, no matter the type of pet, I am truly sorry for your loss and grief.

Thank you for loving your pet and giving them a chance to brighten your world each day. You brightened their world, too!

Gratitude and blessings,

Kim

©2015 Grief Bites. All rights reserved.
❤️
Resources~

Getting Your Breath Back After Life Knocks It Out of You (Kim’s book): Click here for book

Kim’s blog: http://www.griefbites.com

Connect on Facebook by “liking” page: http://www.facebook.com/GettingYourBreathBackAfterGrief

FREE YouVersion reading plans:
1. Grief Bites: Finding Treasure In Hardships: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/912-grief-bites-finding-treasure-in-hardships 
2. Grief Bites: Doubt Revealed: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/954-grief-bites-doubt-revealed 
3. Grief Bites: A New Approach To Growing Through Grief: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/862-grief-bites 
4. Grief Bites: Hope For The Holidays: (Coming November 4, 2015)

Learning to see “God-incidences” ~ Part 1

Jul2

After my dad died, while I was growing up, I experienced three life defining moments. 

  1. I saw my mom be completely shattered due to her deep grief
  2. I saw my mom dramatically “come back to life” through a genuine love relationship with God and experience genuine hope
  3. My mom taught me to look for God in every situation in life and grief—she called these “Godincidences” and “teachable moments”

During the time I saw my mother come back to life, she became more and more excited about what God was going to show her…and accomplish through her each and every day.

I saw firsthand how my mom was very intune with God. Many times, she would feel as though God was telling her to do something very specific some mornings…such as prepare a large meal that day—and sure enough, people would unexpectedly show up at our house the very same night to visit our family and would eat dinner with us EVERY SINGLE TIME! It was really cool to see her praying specific prayers, and allowing God to lead her, and then see God specifically answer her heartfelt prayers.

Although I didn’t genuinely know God until I was 18 years old, I truly believe witnessing my mom’s great faith…and seeing all God did in her life while I was growing up…planted the seeds for me to trust God later on.

I love that my mom actively showed and taught me how to look for God, learning how to see “Godincidences”—coincidences in life that have God’s loving hand in an entire situation. Today, in my own life, I absolutely love when God creates these divine appointments where I can clearly see His hand in particular situations.

A few nights ago, I got to experience two Godincidences. A few months back, I experienced another big Godincidence.

I can’t wait to share with you in my next blog post about these three very special situations.

Stay tuned!😄

Gratitude & blessings,

Kim

©2015 Grief Bites. All rights reserved.
❤️

Resources~

Getting Your Breath Back After Life Knocks It Out of You (book): Click here for book

Kim’s blog: http://www.griefbites.com

Connect on Facebook by “liking” page: http://www.facebook.com/GettingYourBreathBackAfterGrief
FREE YouVersion reading plans:

1. Grief Bites: Finding Treasure In Hardships: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/912-grief-bites-finding-treasure-in-hardships 

2. Grief Bites: Doubt Revealed: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/954-grief-bites-doubt-revealed 

3. Grief Bites: A New Approach To Growing Through Grief: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/862-grief-bites 

4. Grief Bites: Hope For The Holidays: (Coming November 4, 2015)

 

When Someone In Your Grief Group Dies

Jun8

There is a grief I hadn’t ever experienced before. A grief so deep, words can hardly express the depths. 

I lead a grief group. We have over 100 members. Sometimes a few people show up, sometimes dozens show up. Each week, God orchestrates exactly who He knows needs to be there.

I met my beautiful sweet friend a few years ago. I had just opened up our group to those who had suffered deep loss—instead of “just death,” our group began to include those who were experiencing heartache of any kind.

I remember the first time I met her. She had recently went through a tough divorce and was concerned how her kiddos would be affected. She was brokenhearted.

Today, her loved ones and I are brokenhearted. 

I’ve lost many loved ones but never someone in my grief group. It’s a pain like none I’ve experienced before.

When you’re a part of a grief group, you connect at such a highly emotional and spiritual level…you open up, becoming completely vulnerable, and share your greatest heartaches and disappointments in life. You share your triumphs, valleys, and how God is working in your life and grief. You quickly become loyal to each other, encourage each other, lifting each other up and sharing each other’s burdens. You ultimately become family.

I was blessed to be a part of her grief recovery. Where there once were tears, I saw her press forward and choose happiness. Where there were insecurities, I saw her choose confidence and the pursuing of her dreams. Where there once was deep hurt, I saw her open her heart and fall in love again with an amazing man. A man who is so incredibly good to her kiddos and loves them like his very own.

My heart is terribly broken today after losing my sweet friend. Our grief group lost a treasured and much loved sister!

Today, in honor of my friend, I’d like to ask everyone who reads this a favor:

Live life BIG in honor of my friend and all of your family members and friends. Don’t just glide through life! I learned this through my friend…she lived life so passionately! Don’t wait to be happy! Don’t wait to truly live! Don’t ever be scared to be yourself or to have fun! Don’t wait to achieve your goals! Serve God and your church family, and truly care about others! Each and every day is a day you will never get back! My sweet friend knew this and lived an incredible life in the few years I was privileged enough to know her and “do life” with her. You never know what life will bring so never take one single breath for granted! 

Right now, you may have things in your life that are knocking the living breath out of you. You may have trials that are so overwhelming that they’re attempting to absolutely drown you. Overcome every obstacle, thoroughly go through and experience every pain, opportunity, and lesson grief has to offer you, and choose to extravagantly love others and to live your life with everything you have in you!

Today is the very first day of the rest of your life—live well, grieve well, love everyone you do life with to the best of your ability! 

I’ll never forget my sweet friend. I’m so thankful God allowed me to know her—and I am thankful I’ll see her again one day! She loved God and her fiancé, kiddos, family, friends, and church family so much!

Rest in peace my sweet friend—you are forever missed and deeply loved! May we all love and celebrate life…even while going through hardships…like you did!

Gratitude & blessings,

Kim

©2015 Grief Bites. All rights reserved.

❤️

Resources~

Getting Your Breath Back After Life Knocks It Out of You (book): Click here for book

Kim’s blog: http://www.griefbites.com
Connect on Facebook by “liking” page: http://www.facebook.com/GettingYourBreathBackAfterGrief

FREE YouVersion reading plans:
1. Grief Bites: Finding Treasure In Hardships: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/912-grief-bites-finding-treasure-in-hardships 
2. Grief Bites: Doubt Revealed: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/954-grief-bites-doubt-revealed 
3. Grief Bites: A New Approach To Growing Through Grief: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/862-grief-bites 
4. Grief Bites: Hope For The Holidays: (Coming November 4, 2015)

When Mother’s Day Hurts…

May8

Mother’s Day: a day filled with warm memories, joy, flowers, Hallmark cards, and celebrating moms everywhere, right?

Unfortunately, that is not the case for everyone.

There are many who will enter Mother’s Day with a heavy heart of grief, confusion, lost hopes, disappointment, intense sadness, and regrets:

  • some have experienced the death of their beloved mother
  • some moms are desperately missing their much treasured child who died
  • some have experienced a miscarriage or stillborn birth
  • some have never had the ability to have children
  • some have regretted having an abortion
  • some have placed their child up for adoption
  • some have a very tumultuous relationship with their mom; some moms have a broken relationship with their child(ren)
  • some adult children allow their spouse to keep them away from their mom; some moms allow their spouse to interfere in their relationship with their children
  • some realize that this is the last Mother’s Day they’ll have with their mom or child due to age or illness
  • some mothers have written their child off; some children have written their mother out of their life
  • some moms will not get to spend time with their child(ren) due to custody issues
  • some moms will not see their child due to military duty, travel for work, or they don’t live close by; some children will be missing their moms due to deployment, work duties, or location
  • some were adopted or raised by an aunt, grandmother, family member, or friend and are missing their mother deeply due to death, circumstances, or location
  • some have mothers or children who are incarcerated
  • some have mothers who have alzheimer’s or dementia who do not remember their children
  • some are stepmoms with stepchildren who are less than kind and vice versa
  • some moms feel rejected, uncared about, or unloved…some won’t even be acknowledged or appreciated

There are many heartbreaking situations and reasons why this Mother’s Day will be less than ideal and very heartbreaking for so many people.

Life, and holidays, can be excruciatingly unfair and painful. It can be difficult to see others who still have their moms with them…those who have all their children…those who were blessed enough to become a mom…or to see happy families when you are in devastating heartache and pain.

Here are some tips of how to show compassion to all who are discouraged, hurting, or dreading Mother’s Day:

  1. Show compassion and concern. Ask how they are doing, tell them you are thinking about them, and ask what you can do to make their day better.
  2. Realize how hard the day will be for them and go out of your way to make them feel special. Ask if they’d like to go out for brunch. Send or give them a card, buy them a special gift, ask to make them dinner or ask if they’d mind if you had dinner delivered to them, or buy them some beautiful flowers.
  3. Invite them to a movie, out to dinner, or out for coffee. Let them freely talk about whatever they’d like to talk about…without judgment and without unsolicited advice. Sometimes, it helps to have somebody genuinely care who will compassionately listen. Ask them to share something special about their mom or their child(ren).
  4. Acknowledge their loss and heartache. Mention their loved one by name and tell them what their loved one meant to you. You won’t be hurting them by bringing up their name…trust me, their loved one will be on their heart and mind all day.
  5. If you have a vacation home or extra timeshare points, offer to give them the gift of a weekend getaway.
  6. If you know of someone who is hurting, invite them to church and/or invite them to spend the day with you. Include them in all your plans for the day or a portion of the day.
  7. Think of a special way to remember your family members and friends’ moms, child(ren), or loved one. Light a candle in their mom or child’s honor, or help to decorate their loved one’s grave with flowers or items you know they would’ve liked. Do something you know they would’ve loved.
  8. Love them and “hug” their heart with compassion and kindness. They do not need a lecture on how they should feel or what they should do — and they definitely do not need to be told to “get over it.” They sincerely need people in their life who allow them the beautiful freedom to miss and deeply mourn the treasured person they are grieving, missing, and deeply love. Remember: the greater the love, the greater the grief.
  9. If someone you know has a difficult relationship with their mom or child, reach out to them. Tell them you’re thinking about them by calling them, making them a gift basket, giving them a card, or by inviting them to do something that gets their mind off of their struggles.
  10. If you know of a military mom, send her a care basket. Be sure to send letters from her kiddos and photos, too. If able, set up a time to FaceTime or Skype as well. If there is a mom whose husband is deployed, consider doing something sweet for her too!

What if you are the one who is hurting? Here are some creative ideas of how to get through the day:

  1. Pamper yourself. Clear your schedule and remove any uncomfortable expectations others may place on you. Take a day off and do whatever makes you feel calm, relaxed, happy, or peaceful.
  2. Take some time to look at photos or home videos of your mom, child, or loved one. As you look at each one, remember the special bond and incredible memories you shared together.
  3. Take the day to journal or make a special scrapbook of your loved one and all the wonderful memories you shared together.
  4. Write a letter to your mom, child, or loved one and share what’s on your heart and mind.
  5. Spend the day doing what you normally would’ve done if your loved one was here…or go to a place that was special to the two of you. Know that your loved one loves you so very much, they want you to experience love, encouragement and comfort.
  6. Celebrate your loved one or honor your loved one’s memory by having a “garden day.” Plant a tree or some special flowers in their memory and create a beautiful space where you can go in days to come to celebrate or remember your loved one. You could also make a pathway out of memory stones or buy a special bench, hammock, or chair to enjoy in their memory.
  7. Have a relaxing movie day by either going to a movie or ordering take-out and renting movies that will make you feel closer to your loved one. Don’t forget yours & their favorite movie snacks and a comfy blanket.
  8. Invite others who are missing their mom or child to do something fun or meaningful. It truly helps to be around others who “get it.”
  9. Have a day of “writing & learning”: writing letters of gratitude to those who have had a positive impact on your life..it could be a parent, grandparent, aunt, uncle, sibling, child, family member, pastor, schoolteacher, friend, etc. If you have children, or nieces and nephews, be sure to share the warm memories and stories with them and teach them what was taught to you.
  10. Consider spending the day doing a relaxing hobby and including others in your day. I had a teacher who took a special interest in me by teaching me how to make pies, and I also was taught to bake by my mom and sister. I really enjoyed investing in this hobby and teaching my younger family members how to bake, too.
  11. Watch a church service online and have a “God day” where you spend the entire day with just God and you. Go to a park and have a picnic lunch, lay in a hammock while listening to music, read your Bible and pray. Pray for everybody in your life. Share with God everything that is on your heart. “God days” are very refreshing and can set you up for a much better week!
  12. Last, but not least, make Mother’s Day whatever you would like for it to be. You may feel comfortable doing the usual familiar traditions that have been passed down to you…you may wish to spend and enjoy the day with your remaining loved ones…or you may want to create brand new memories, traditions, and experiences. Go out of town, take a day trip, and/or do something relaxing or special. Surround yourself with love. Pour into others. Encourage others who are hurting. There are many ways you can choose to celebrate or remember your treasured mother, precious child, or loved one, and many ways to remember or celebrate the day.

God loves you and cares about every intricate detail of your heart and life. He wants to help you pick up the pieces of your shattered life and help you to rebuild it. It may not be the exact life we signed up for or wanted, but God can help us realize that life is still an adventure worth highly valuing. Take the time you need to rebuild your heart and life…it takes time and it is totally okay to break down or be disappointed as you process your deep loss. Learn new things each and every day. Learn from past mistakes and always look for better ways to live life. Look for and secure the support you need from family and friends…tell them what you need. Feel what you need to feel.

To experience the death of a mother or child is excruciating. Be kind to your heart and do whatever you have to do to get through the day. As long as you’re not hurting God, others, or yourself, whatever you choose to do is appropriate.

To every mom, grandmother, daughter, granddaughter, aunt, sister, niece, and woman in the world, I wish you a wonderfully beautiful, relaxing, and highly blessed Mother’s Day! Thank you for all of the ways you make (and have made) the world a wonderful and better place! You are so incredibly valuable, special, and unique and life wouldn’t be the same to your loved ones had they not had you in their lives! Pamper yourself this weekend—you deserve it!

Wishing everybody an incredibly peaceful, blessed, comfortable, and memorable Mother’s Day! Allow yourself the freedom to do whatever brings you comfort and makes your heart smile!

Gratitude & blessings,

Kim

©2015 Grief Bites. All rights reserved.

🌹If you were encouraged by this post, please feel free to share it to encourage others!

For more encouragement:

🌺Making peace with God: http://peacewithgod.net

🌷Getting Your Breath Back After Life Knocks It Out of You (Kim’s book): Click here for book

💐Connect on Facebook by “liking” page: http://www.facebook.com/GettingYourBreathBackAfterGrief

🌸Kim’s blog: http://www.griefbites.com

🌼FREE YouVersion reading plans:

1. Grief Bites: Finding Treasure In Hardships: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/912-grief-bites-finding-treasure-in-hardships

2. Grief Bites: Doubt Revealed: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/954-grief-bites-doubt-revealed

3. Grief Bites: A New Approach To Growing Through Grief https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/862-grief-bites

4. Grief Bites: Hope For The Holidays: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/1964-grief-bites-hope-for-the-holidays

💕

What If….

Apr29

“What If” are two of the harshest words known to a griever, followed only by the ultimate harshest words, “If Only.”

Going through grief, guilt, regret, and hardship can be excruciating…it can totally weigh a person down.

Something I’ve learned through intense grief is that the decision to love living life again has to be a daily choice. It’s not an easy choice sometimes but it’s a choice that is vital to make each and every day.

Today, choose to exchange the negative meaning of “What If” for a positive reflection of those two words.

“What If” can hold good meaning, too—life changing meaning!

  • ❤️💕What if, TODAY, you begin to actively choose to dwell on the positive instead of any negative
  • What if you choose to see all that is good & right about life, your child, spouse, family, and friends instead of what was/is bad or wrong
  • What if you choose to give someone grace instead of judging or holding a grudge
  • What if you choose to reach out to someone you know you hurt instead of ignoring them or the situation 
  • What if you choose to reach out to someone you know who is hurting from deep grief…or allow someone to encourage you
  • What if you choose to forgive yourself and see your true value
  • What if you choose to bless someone with encouragement, kindness or love
  • What if you choose to do whatever you need to do to create a new life—not forgetting your former life or loved ones, but learning from the past and building your life up so you feel joy every single day
  • What if you choose to seek God, reconcile with Him, accept His overall plan, & delight in Him with all your heart—regardless of life’s difficulties?

Life is an uphill battle…and grief can make it feel as though you are carrying a huge backpack of heavy rocks.

Begin, starting today, to let go of the heavy burdens you have been carrying…one rock at a time.

Be kind to others and yourself!
Every time you feel yourself thinking a guilt-filled, “What If,” turn it around and seek to learn all you can so you can do better from this day forward. 

What if you look back one year from today and see how much life has changed for the better—all because you changed the negative meaning of “What If” into a positive one?

Gratitude & blessings,

Kim

©2015 Grief Bites. All rights reserved.

❤️

Resources~
Getting Your Breath Back After Life Knocks It Out of You (book): Click here for book

Kim’s blog: http://www.griefbites.com

Connect on Facebook by “liking” page: http://www.facebook.com/GettingYourBreathBackAfterGrief

FREE YouVersion reading plans:

1. Grief Bites: Finding Treasure In Hardships: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/912-grief-bites-finding-treasure-in-hardships 
2. Grief Bites: Doubt Revealed: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/954-grief-bites-doubt-revealed 
3. Grief Bites: A New Approach To Growing Through Grief: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/862-grief-bites 
4. Grief Bites: Hope For The Holidays: (Coming November 4, 2015)

Trusting others with your grief

Sep5

When going through grief or a traumatizing situation, please be careful who you trust and confide in.

Not everybody has a hurting person’s best interests at heart; some may even use your personal story as a means to gossip.

By no means should you bottle up all of your hurts, emotions, or story…just use extreme wisdom in who you allow the precious privilege of helping and encouraging you.

There are very good people out there…and, oh, what treasures they are!

Choose people who will adopt the mentality, “It’s your story, and it’s not mine to tell.”

Praying God blesses everyone with compassionate, empathetic, and trustworthy family and friends!

Gratitude & blessings,
Kim

©2015 Grief Bites. All rights reserved.

❤️

Resources~

Getting Your Breath Back After Life Knocks It Out of You (book): Click here for book

Kim’s blog: http://www.griefbites.com

Connect on Facebook by “liking” page: http://www.facebook.com/GettingYourBreathBackAfterGrief

FREE YouVersion reading plans:

1. Grief Bites: Finding Treasure In Hardships: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/912-grief-bites-finding-treasure-in-hardships 
2. Grief Bites: Doubt Revealed: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/954-grief-bites-doubt-revealed 
3. Grief Bites: A New Approach To Growing Through Grief: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/862-grief-bites 
4. Grief Bites: Hope For The Holidays: (Coming November 4, 2015)

7 Helpful Steps For Grieving Families

Aug8

Anyone who has been through deep grief knows firsthand how it can affect relationships.

Grief can be extra challenging when it comes to family relationships.

Our families are who we are most comfortable around…and sadly, they’re who we show our hurts and frustrations to the most.

Did you know that 75% of parents will get divorced after the death of a child and even more will divorce when a child has a disability?

People may say and do things during deep grief that can be very uncharacteristic of their true nature. That is why it is so important to safeguard and treasure our families more than ever during times of grief. 

Compassion and empathy are absolutely key in helping our family relationships to survive and thrive during our toughest storms in life.

It takes time for a broken heart to heal, and it takes time to find a working “new normal”. Like a hurricane, grief changes everything and has the capacity to damage everything in its path. It truly takes having a game plan to ensure that family relationships do not suffer.

If we are to purposely ensure that our family relationships remain healthy during times of deep grief, it is vital for grieving families to:

1. Be there for each other

2. Show compassion to one another

3. Allow each other to grieve how each needs to grieve (this is a HUGE one because everyone grieves differently)

4. Be respectful and kind to one another

5. Support one another by helping each other with day-to-day responsibilities and remembering appointments and important events (buying a calendar and having each family member write down their appointments and events on the calendar will alleviate stress and will eliminate communication mishaps. Grief can make people forget appointments, events, special occasions, etc.)

6. Be forgiving of each other and refuse to play the “blame game”. During grief or loss, it is easy to want to project our hurt or blame onto something or someone else. Depending on the grief experience, this can be incredibly tough to overcome. Sometimes, finding a qualified counselor can be very helpful, one who can help families to work through the pain and blame.

7. Many times, the very best thing a family member can do for another family member is to simply listen and give a big comforting hug

If you are going through grief, remember that your spouse, children, & family members are part of your team. Yes, there are going to be some very tough days to weather together…but resolve today to encourage, love, and support each other through the thick and thin life throws at you.
Treat each other the best you possibly can and love each other well!
Draw close together as you walk through your storm together!

©2014 Grief Bites. All rights reserved.

❤️If you were encouraged by this post, please feel free to share it to encourage others!❤️

For more encouragement:

Making peace with God: http://peacewithgod.net

Kim’s blog: http://www.griefbites.com

Connect on Facebook by “liking” page: http://www.facebook.com/GettingYourBreathBackAfterGrief

Getting Your Breath Back After Life Knocks It Out of You (Kim’s book): Click here for book

FREE YouVersion reading plans:

1. Grief Bites: Finding Treasure In Hardships: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/912-grief-bites-finding-treasure-in-hardships 

2. Grief Bites: Doubt Revealed: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/954-grief-bites-doubt-revealed 

3. Grief Bites: A New Approach To Growing Through Grief https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/862-grief-bites 

4. Grief Bites: Hope For The Holidays: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/1964-grief-bites-hope-for-the-holidays

❤️

Lessons from Maleficent

Aug5

I wrote this for another blog and thought I’d share it on this one. I hope it encourages someone to do whatever it takes to get their “wings” back so they can fly to higher heights!

 

This week, I saw the new Disney movie, Maleficent.

It is a great movie to see and then discuss bitterness, revenge, continuous ongoing conflict, and forgiveness, afterwards, with your family.

***SPOILER ALERT***

If you have not seen Maleficent, and are going to go see it, you’ll want to come back to read this post after doing so! 🙂

Alrighty…got that out of the way…

So…

If you have ever seen Sleeping Beauty, then you grew up believing that Maleficent was a real witch…an evil character that just had it out for the king and queen for no good reason.

She was merely having a bad day and decided to stir the pot of hatefulness on the day the king and queen celebrated Princess Aurora’s birth.

But…with this new updated version of the movie, we clearly empathize and begin to understand why Maleficent was so incredibly angry. She was hurt and devastated by the king a few years earlier.

Conflict and gossip can be like that…people tell us what they think about other people, and they sometimes do so without telling us what “clipped” the other person’s “wings”.

Everybody has a set of “wings.”

Our “wings” can be lost through grief or loss. Wings come in many forms…it can be the loss of a loved one, the loss of a treasured relationship or relationship interference by another person, or it may be the loss of prized or treasured possessions, goals, dreams, career/job/money, family harmony, etc…it can be anything that meant the world to a person.

That gets me to the point of this post:

When we see that Maleficent was wronged…and oh, she was truly wronged…we see she begins to tremendously darken her once amazingly beautiful and kind heart.

How many times has that happened to us during times of grief or loss? When we lost someone, or something, we tremendously loved and valued, we were tempted to harden our hearts?

It is all too easy to become bitter, or at the very least, slightly jealous of other peoples good that they have remaining in their lives.

If you want to have the contents of your heart revealed, just get on Facebook. You seem to see everything you lost. If you lost your health, it seems that everybody has boundless energy and is having a grand ol’ time when all you want to do is hide your physical pain from the world. If your loss is the death of a loved one, or a painful relationship with a family member, it seems like everybody gets along incredibly well with their entire family…and they seem to do it on an AWESOME vacation. If your loss is a career or finances, it can seem that everybody is so in love with their job and makes lots and lots of money. If your loss was a precious child or a miscarriage, you see gobs of pictures of people playing with their kids and enjoying them to the fullest. You get the idea…whatever the loss, it will stand out on a social media site.

Back to Maleficent…

Maleficent’s heart was incredibly darkened and hardened…until she allowed love and light back into her heart.

And so it is with grief. We all have a choice. We can allow our grief to put us in a state of feeling longterm negativity all of the time…or we can search for any opportunity we can to allow love and light back into our hearts.

We can choose to be bitter and focus only on all we have lost, or we can choose to work on resolving our bitterness and purposely choose to see everything and everyone we have remaining in our lives.

Maleficent was absolutely broken in the movie…so heartbroken that she bitterly spoke a curse on baby Princess Aurora due to deep bitterness and pain…and Maleficent truly regretted it later on.

We, too, will end up regretting being bitter…we also can deeply regret not finding life again to truly live it, too.

We can choose to avoid or mistreat people due to our deep pain, or we can cherish the remaining people in our life with everything we have.

This can be challenging to do…but it is worth it!

Whatever we focus on, that is what we will see and perceive…

If we focus on our loss, we will live a life of loss. If we focus on “life”…our lives will become much better…and we will live life fuller than ever expected.

 

It takes training our hearts and minds to focus on who and what we still do have…and that is exactly what eventually brings us back to life.

Maleficent’s heart was softened by her deep love of Aurora by experiencing life again through Aurora’s child-like wonder.

We also can make a decision to love and love life once again.

Yes, through grief recovery, life truly begins to take on a whole new meaning…and finding a “new normal” is NOT fun…it can be the most excruciatingly painful and hardest thing you will ever have to learn to do. Anyone who has had their “wings” clipped by grief or loss truly understands how tough life can be, but each person CAN end up loving and living life so much more than they presently do.

It takes time, and renewing the hope in our hearts, but it finally can happen.

We may not ever be able to get our original “wings” back, but we can ask God to create brand new ones…and with those new wings, we can learn to fly higher than we thought possible and then powerfully help others to fly, too, as we share with them how we learned to fly again through our darkest days.

 

©2014 Grief Bites. All rights reserved. 


❤️If you were encouraged by this post, please feel free to share it to encourage others!

⭐️For more encouragement:

❤️Making peace with God: http://peacewithgod.net

❤️Getting Your Breath Back After Life Knocks It Out of You (Kim’s book): Click here for book

❤️Connect on Facebook by “liking” page: www.facebook.com/GettingYourBreathBackAfterGrief

❤️Kim’s blog: www.griefbites.com

❤️FREE YouVersion reading plans:

1. Grief Bites: Finding Treasure In Hardships: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/912-grief-bites-finding-treasure-in-hardships

2. Grief Bites: Doubt Revealed: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/954-grief-bites-doubt-revealed

3. Grief Bites: A New Approach To Growing Through Grief https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/862-grief-bites

4. Grief Bites: Hope For The Holidays: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/1964-grief-bites-hope-for-the-holidays


5. Experiencing Holidays With Jesus: Christmas: http://bible.com/r/3V5

6. Experiencing Holidays With Jesus: Happy New Year!: http://bible.com/r/3Zv

7. Valentine’s Day: Experiencing Holidays With Jesus: http://www.bible.com/reading-plans/14059-valentines-day-experiencing-holidays-with-jesus

⭐️All content on the Grief Bites blog and website is copyright protected material. Please ask for permission to copy, use, or print. 

⭐️⭐️All content on the Grief Bites blog and website is for encouragement purposes only and is not in any way to be construed as medical, emotional, mental, relational, or psychological advice. We hope to serve as a bridge to encourage others by sharing our personal grief and life experiences. Please contact a qualified healthcare professional, mental health professional, or qualified pastor for guidance and advice.

Conflict Resolution During Grief Pt. 2

Jun26

Conflict is unavoidable in life. 

Conflict will always be a part of life as long as there are people…because people are fallible. People have issues…and people are broken.

We all have our own set of issues, as well as our own ideas, thoughts, beliefs, and desires. We also all have an idea of how WE think life should happen…and how WE think life should work. And then conflict begins…Grief can bring up a ton of conflict. Other times in life, God sometimes allows someone with VERY different issues, ideas, thoughts, beliefs, desires, and ideals to cross our path…or they may live with us!

We can view a person we are having conflict with as:

  • sandpaper that gets underneath our skin…or…
  • a divine vessel from God to sand away the negative character qualities and imperfections we have in our own life

Depending on how we view our offender or a situation of conflict, we will either deepen our negative character traits…or…become a better person throughout a trial.

In my last post, I stated, “Ultimately, conflict surfaces because it is one of the enemy’s strongest ways of keeping us from achieving what God wants for us, and what God truly wants for those around us. Conflict continually keeps hurts and problems stirred up…sucking up our extra energy…which prevents us from FULLY achieving God’s Will and His best for our lives. Ultimately, conflict keeps us from TRULY loving God and GENUINELY loving others.” …Think about this for a minute…

So where does conflict originate?

EVERY CONFLICT STEMS FROM ONE ORIGINAL SOURCE: One, or both parties, involved in a conflict has a major character deficit. Character deficits…and the granddaddy of all character deficits–selfishness (pride)–are what conflicts are rooted in.

James 4:1 says, “What causes fights and quarrels among you? Aren’t they caused by the selfish desires that fight to control you?” Our character, and the selfish desires of our heart, try to control us. That is why it is so important to control and develop our own personal character throughout life.

Whatever negative character qualities we do not gain control over, will end up controlling us.

Let me explain: Character is the sum of qualities that a person either possesses or doesn’t possess that dictates every single thought, word, action or deed.

Some people are fortunate to have been trained to have character qualities while growing up; others have not had an opportunity to have developed their character yet.

One thing is for certain though: EVERYBODY can choose to develop their character from this day forward…and by doing so, resolve many conflicts in life, as well as many life difficulties. 

When people go through grief, they may say things that they really do not mean. They may even do things that are not typical of them, too. It takes time for a broken heart to heal and it can take a lot of work to balance out after life has thrown a huge curveball. As a result of grief and loss, normally good character can suffer greatly.

We must continually develop and strengthen our character throughout our lives…because “life” and grief has the ability to change or weaken our character. Since our character can be weakened by life events…or wrong motives or wrong influences we allow into our life…it is imperative to keep a strong “self-check” in place over our character and our hearts.   Proverbs 4:23 says, “Keep your heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life.”

Conflict is not always a “They’re wrong and I am right” situation. Conflict can certainly be that, but more often than not, it is simply a lack of character…and the 2 parties involved can not resolve an issue until the character quality is improved and resolved. Without the character quality being defined, improved, and resolved, the offending person no more understands how to resolve the issue than they understand how to develop the character quality itself, making lasting conflict resolution very unlikely.

The more we become Christ-like, the more character our lives will have…and the more we go to God to ask Him to develop His character and the fruits of His Spirit into our lives, the more opportunities we will have to develop them. (By the way, there are solid opportunities to put character, and the fruits of God’s Spirit, into practice during times of conflict…usually, conflict will reveal what is TRULY in a person’s heart…and the amount of genuine character they have. It’s not a fun revelation, but it is genuinely revealing to say the least).

Here is a list of popular character qualities. It is not an exhaustive list, but a most common list. As both parties read the qualities, each truly has the opportunity to take the time to see which qualities they have personally violated towards the person they are in conflict with. Remember, it is not about being “right”…it is about both parties owning their part and RESOLVING the conflict.

Two people can absolutely tear each other apart with arguments and divisions…without seeing any positive resolution at all. So, doesn’t it make sense to battle and change the negative character instead of battling the same topics over and over again?

Galatians 5:15 shares, “If you go on hurting each other and tearing each other apart [biting and devouring one another], be careful, or you will completely destroy [or consume] each other.”

Take a moment and look at the following list of character qualities, along with the negative character trait associated with the needed positive character quality for conflict resolution. A lot of times, if someone cannot pin point a character quality that is needed to resolve an issue, they can most likely pin point the negative trait that is being displayed. Find the negative character quality that is being shown and then develop the opposite (positive) character quality to better the situation.

Majority of people do not merely react to another person; they react to a person’s character/lack of character…or guiding life principles/lack of principles…or values/lack of values.

Whether it is conflict during grief, or conflict within a marriage or family relationship, church/religion-based relationships, work relationships, or any other conflict or relationship…majority can be resolved when fixing the root…which is fixing the underlying character issues.

2 people then are not fighting each other…they are overcoming negative character qualities together.

Some may refuse to work on issues, their character, or relationships (due to being stubborn, or maybe being deeply hurt by a situation or another person), so they choose to cut off or remove their self from the situation. Regardless of what one chooses…and that is truly between them and God…their negative character traits will follow them into a new relationship or situation. And the lessons usually get harder and much more difficult. God rarely allows us to be offensive, or refuse to obey His ways for conflict resolution, and then walk off and be blessed. He usually sends a much more cruel messenger or situation to motivate us to change our character and our ways. It’s just the way it works!

So, why choose to work on it…especially when you truly do not want to?…It makes much more sense to develop our own character…whether another person does or not…and whether a situation changes or not…because we have to look at ourselves in the mirror each and every day the rest of our lives regardless of the outcome of our conflict. We ultimately do our part to please God.

Consider these most common character traits that can be lacking. The anecdote is for each person to do a self check to truly see which negative character trait they are exhibiting, so that they can clearly figure out how to develop the positive character trait for lasting results in conflict resolution:

(Before reading this list, ask the Holy Spirit to reveal to you which character qualities you need to develop and work on. Don’t be discouraged, everybody has MANY qualities they need to develop!)

Acceptance vs. Rejection

Adaptability vs. Stubbornness

Alertness vs. Unawareness

Attentiveness vs. Unconcern

Authenticity vs. Fakeness/Hypocrisy

Availability vs. Self-centeredness

Being Under Authority vs. Selfish Rebellion

Benefit of the Doubt vs. Harsh Judgment

Boldness vs. Fearfulness

Cautiousness vs. Rashness

Civility vs. Incivility

Communication vs. Lacking Communication

Compassion vs. Indifference

Community/Family vs. Isolation

Contentment vs. Covetousness

Cooperation vs. Rebellion

Courage vs. Cowardice

Courtesy vs. Rudeness

Creativity vs. Underachievement/Dullness

Decisiveness vs. Double-mindedness

Dedication vs. Wavering

Deference vs. Rudeness

Dependability vs. Inconsistency

Determination vs. Faintheartedness

Diligence vs. Slothfulness 

Discernment vs. Judgment

Discretion vs. Simplemindedness

Empathy vs. Hard-heartedness

Endurance vs. Giving up

Excellence vs. Apathy

Faith vs. Presumption

Faithfulness vs. Unfaithfulness

Flexibility vs. Resistance

Forgiveness vs. Bitterness

Generosity/Hospitality vs. Stinginess

Gentleness vs. Harshness

Gratefulness vs. Unthankfulness

Hardworking vs. Entitlement

Harmony vs. Jealousy

Honesty vs. Lying

Honor vs. Dishonor

Humility vs. Pride

Humor/Fun vs. Coldness/Refusal to connect

Initiative vs. Unresponsiveness

Integrity vs. Lack of Morals

Joyfulness vs. Self-pity

Justice vs. Fairness

Kindness vs. Harshness

Leadership vs. Wavering

Love vs. Hate/Pride/Selfishness

Loyalty vs. Betrayal

Meekness vs. Anger

Mercy vs. Judgment/Judging

Obedience vs. Willfulness

Orderliness vs. Disorganization

Patience vs. Impatience/Restlessness

Peace vs. Contention/Disharmony

Positivity vs. Negativity

Punctuality vs. Tardiness

Purpose vs. Cluelessness/Flightiness

Purity/Virtue vs. Impurity

Purity of Motives vs. Manipulation

Resilience vs. Quitting

Resourcefulness/Conservation vs. Wastefulness

Responsibility vs. Unreliability

Respect/Reverence vs. Disrespect

Safety vs. Carelessness

Security vs. Anxiety

Self-Control vs. Self-indulgence

Self-Discipline vs. Undisciplined

Selflessness vs. Selfishness

Sensitivity vs. Callousness

Servant’s Heart vs. Haughtiness

Sincerity vs. Insincerity

Teamwork/Unity vs. Competitiveness/”Me” Attitude

Thankfulness vs. Complaining

Thoroughness vs. Incompleteness

Thriftiness vs. Extravagance

Tolerance vs. Prejudice

Trust vs. Mistrust

Truthfulness vs. Deception

Unity vs. Division

Vision vs. Apathy

Wisdom vs. Foolishness/Natural Inclinations

Take a few days to truly think about these character traits, the positive and the negative, and then pray about how you are going to further strengthen the good traits you have, as well as how best to develop and work  on the negative traits you have too. We ALL have both positive and negative traits and one of the greatest things about life is that we have the grand opportunity to continually better ourselves. When we love God and love others….and we choose to actively better the lives of others, and better ourselves, good things have a way of entering into our lives.

Everybody at some point has failed in a situation or a relationship…but keep in mind: “Failure is an event, never a person”…as long as you have breath in you today, you can improve your life and your character! And improving your character will always lead to a better life, better relationships, and the ability to resolve conflict!

Next post, I will be writing about how to develop each of the character qualities above. Stay tuned! 🙂

©2014 Grief Bites. All rights reserved.

❤️If you were encouraged by this post, please feel free to share it to encourage others!

⭐️For more encouragement:

❤️Making peace with God: http://peacewithgod.net

❤️Getting Your Breath Back After Life Knocks It Out of You (Kim’s book): Click here for book

❤️Connect on Facebook by “liking” page: www.facebook.com/GettingYourBreathBackAfterGrief

❤️Kim’s blog: www.griefbites.com

❤️FREE YouVersion reading plans:

1. Grief Bites: Finding Treasure In Hardships: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/912-grief-bites-finding-treasure-in-hardships

2. Grief Bites: Doubt Revealed: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/954-grief-bites-doubt-revealed

3. Grief Bites: A New Approach To Growing Through Grief https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/862-grief-bites

4. Grief Bites: Hope For The Holidays: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/1964-grief-bites-hope-for-the-holidays


5. Experiencing Holidays With Jesus: Christmas: http://bible.com/r/3V5

6. Experiencing Holidays With Jesus: Happy New Year!: http://bible.com/r/3Zv

7. Valentine’s Day: Experiencing Holidays With Jesus: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/14059-valentines-day-experiencing-holidays-with-jesus

⭐️All content on the Grief Bites blog and website is copyright protected material. Please ask for permission to copy, use, or print. 

⭐️⭐️All content on the Grief Bites blog and website is for encouragement purposes only and is not in any way to be construed as medical, emotional, mental, relational, or psychological advice. We hope to serve as a bridge to encourage others by sharing our personal grief and life experiences. Please contact a qualified healthcare professional, mental health professional, or qualified pastor for guidance and advice.

 

10+10=2? 20 Questions To Begin Conflict Resolution (Pt. 1)

Jun18

Have you ever experienced conflict with a spouse, child, parent, family member, in-law, ex, friend, church staff, church member, or co-worker?

What do you consider the greatest litmus test for the times when you, or those around you, experience conflict?

Do you consider:
How they have personally treated you?
How you have personally seen them treat others?
Their usual character?
Your usual character?
How you have treated them?

The world is rampant with grief, loss, disappointment, conflict, betrayal, and relational hurts.

Grief, loss, disappointment, conflict, betrayal, and ongoing hurt can bring out the absolute worst in people…and we all have the possibility of this due to the hurt, or past hurts, in our lives.

When a person hurts us, or someone we love, most people do one of four things:

1. Get even. They hurt the person back through gossip, manipulation, & reputation ruining.
2. Stuff it down, hidden deep inside, and ignore it. They pretend all is well.
3. Become a doormat and excuse it because they don’t like conflict.
4. Lash out at the other person due to deep hurts and ongoing frustrations.

If we are all honest, we probably have done a few of these things in our lifetime.

But…there is a better way.

We must first consider some important information when going through times of conflict:

  • What if we are hurting ourselves, or our own families, in the midst of the conflicts we face?
  • What if we are contributing to hurting many others in the crossfire of our disagreements…potentially for generations?
  • What if people take up offenses for loved ones, leading to serious discord that keeps on going…and going…and going. At the very least, we’ve all heard mother-in-law jokes…and at the very worst, we’ve all seen political issues and wars in the world that are violently ongoing.
  • What if we harm our own character, reputation, or spiritual witness, or that of our family’s, or that of another person?

Think about it…every conflict we are in doesn’t just affect us.

 

Each and every conflict on earth was started with a little spark that grew into a monumental fire.

How do we personally tend to our “little sparks” before great damage is done?

It is important to understand the truth that we’ve all experienced conflict due to others, as well as of our own making:
1. We’ve all been 100% innocent and on the receiving end of a combative person/situation/issue
…and…
2. We’ve all dished out our share of mistreatment or misinformation onto others
Majority of the time, we are right in the middle of these two extremes…doing both dishing and receiving.

 

Ok, so about that little spark that’s headed towards becoming a wildfire of destruction…

When going through conflict, it can zap us in many ways. The deeper the conflict, and the longer it lasts, the more we probably are tempted to question God why we are having to go through it.

Conflict. is. painful.

Why is conflict so prevalent?

Ultimately, conflict surfaces because it is one of the enemy’s strongest ways of keeping us from achieving what God wants for us and what God truly wants for those around us. Conflict continually keeps hurts and problems stirred up…and sucks up all our energy…which prevents us from FULLY achieving God’s Will and His best for our lives.

If you are going through conflict, the best thing to do is for both parties to self reflect and ask a few questions of themselves:

1. Did I do anything to wrong the person I’m having issues with?
2. Has there been an offense in the past that I haven’t made right? (maybe they’re reacting to a past hurt)
3. How have I contributed to this problem?
4. Have I gossiped or lied about them…or embellished the facts?
5. Have I been spiteful, hateful, unreasonable, or vindictive?
6. Have I tried to discredit them or relayed damaging info or “facts” about them to others, casting them in a bad light, or tried to get others on my side?
7. Is this a sin cycle passed down or learned from my parents (problems with authority figures, in-law issues, conflict stemming from divorce/death, rejecting others, anger, bitterness, “getting even”, rebellion, etc)?
8. Have I had a spirit of “competition” or jealousy where I’m trying to “win” or win my own way, “one up” someone, or gain favor at another person’s expense? (Example: siblings or daughter-in-laws & mother-in-laws)
9. Have I been prideful, unwilling to budge, or unwilling to do my part?
10. Have I taken up an offense for a loved one, without considering the other person’s feelings or their side of the story?

As you read these 10 questions, did you truly self reflect?
If not, take a moment to value and rid yourself of any pride, bitterness, or hurt you are harboring in your heart…free yourself…and go back and re-read the 10 questions of self reflection (focusing on each bolded ‘I‘)…and TRULY self reflect, as you put yourself in the other person’s shoes. Then you will be able to free yourself up to make a commitment to do what is honorable in the conflict you are in as much as you are truly able to.
Remember: you’re not only doing this for them…because, let’s face it, if left to us, we aren’t going to be in the mood to self reflect or do a kind favor to anyone who has been hurtful or offensive. We need to remember that we are also choosing to do this to honor God, and for our own peace, sanity, and joy, as well as those around us who are deeply affected by the conflict. Most conflicts affect everyone close to us…they’re usually never just a “2 person” ordeal.

Times of conflict are extremely painful…but they can also be excellent opportunities for personal growth.

Consider the incredible invaluable opportunity you have right in front of you to develop character & humility in your own life to become a stronger, kinder, more richly developed person.
Each person needs to ask their self:
1. What have I personally done to make the situation right?
2. Have I gone to the person to make amends?
3. Have I done, or am I willing to do, the “right thing” as much as is in my power to do so?
4. Have I truly done an inventory of the hurtful or hate-filled words I have spoken (to them, about them, and to others) as well as the hurtful things I have done to them?
5. Have I genuinely considered what I have cost them (relationally, spiritually, reputation, emotionally, monetarily/financially, time-wise, wasted special occasions, etc)
6. Have I been willing to be a peacemaker and actively taken the steps to extend forgiveness, mercy, and grace?
7. Have I put myself in “their shoes” to see how they feel…or how this has affected them?
8. Have I offered a sincere apology or offered to actively make my “wrongs” right? (a hurt or offended person is hard to win over. An apology…and sometimes restitution…is vital. Humbling but it is a must-do)
9. Have I given the person the “benefit of the doubt” and/or tried to understand their intentions behind their actions? (sometimes, not everything is personal)
And most importantly…
10. Have I genuinely prayed about the situation and asked God what to do...am I truly willing to obey God, regardless of how I feel or what I ultimately want?

We live in a broken world, but that doesn’t necessarily give us a “free pass” to go around behaving like broken people. We need to hold ourselves accountable for every word, action, and deed…because we will eventually have to give an account of these to God.  Speaking of God, we have a Helper to make us whole, Who wants to make our offender whole, and to bring healing to any situation…if we want His help. So, if we want God’s help, it is vital to go to Him and His Word for lasting answers.

Although conflict can be incredible uncomfortable to go through, sometimes, conflict can be a catalyst to bring healing into your life, or an offensive person’s life. Sometimes, God wants us to be that person…helping the very person who hurt our heart. It’s EXACTLY what Christ did…and still does…for us.

 

Compassion, empathy, and understanding pave the way…they all are key components to begin the healing that is needed.

Make the decision to start being the compassion & understanding to others TODAY that YOU wish to receive TOMORROW.

Most conflict issues can be resolved when one person stands up, decides to show good character, and becomes the bigger person to make amends.

We are all in this together.
Everybody in the world has been deeply hurt…and everybody in the world has deeply hurt others.

How cool would it be if we all chose to live life on the higher road, making the decision to love God and love others starting right now?

Many problematic conflicts could be completely resolved if we could master in ourselves those 2 important…life-changing…decisions.

Starting today, let’s begin to un-complicate life and choose to pursue healing, spiritual strength, emotional health, kindness, compassion, and genuine love.

It will most likely take time, and getting used to, but it can be worth it!

Conflict resolution comes to life when both parties agree to:

1. Truly love God
2. Genuinely love others

In action.

Because, ultimately, love can truly cover over a multitude of hurts and sin.

Yes, 10+10 can equal 2…when the 2 parties in a conflict ask themselves those important 20 questions to come to a WHOLE resolution.

 

Does this still seem impossible? My next post will be all about how to practically accomplish conflict resolution when you don’t want to through developing character. Stay tuned!

 

Lookup these verses on www.bible.com: 1 Peter 4:8, Ephesians 4:32, James 1:12, Matthew 5:9, Colossians 3:13, Ephesians 4:2-3, James 3:18, Proverbs 13:10, 2 Chronicles 7:14, Ephesians 5:14-17, Matthew 6:14, 1 Corinthians 13:13, Matthew 22:36-40, Matthew 12:33-37, Romans 14:12

 

God has been showing me some pretty cool stuff this week…stuff I definitely will be putting into practice myself! Looking forward to writing more about this! 🙂

Gratitude & blessings,

Kim

©2014 Grief Bites. All rights reserved.

❤️If you were encouraged by this post, please feel free to share it to encourage others!

⭐️For more encouragement:

❤️Making peace with God: http://peacewithgod.net

❤️Getting Your Breath Back After Life Knocks It Out of You (Kim’s book): Click here for book

❤️Connect on Facebook by “liking” page: www.facebook.com/GettingYourBreathBackAfterGrief

❤️Kim’s blog: www.griefbites.com

❤️FREE YouVersion reading plans:

1. Grief Bites: Finding Treasure In Hardships: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/912-grief-bites-finding-treasure-in-hardships

2. Grief Bites: Doubt Revealed: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/954-grief-bites-doubt-revealed

3. Grief Bites: A New Approach To Growing Through Grief https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/862-grief-bites

4. Grief Bites: Hope For The Holidays: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/1964-grief-bites-hope-for-the-holidays


5. Experiencing Holidays With Jesus: Christmas: http://bible.com/r/3V5

6. Experiencing Holidays With Jesus: Happy New Year!: http://bible.com/r/3Zv

7. Valentine’s Day: Experiencing Holidays With Jesus: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/14059-valentines-day-experiencing-holidays-with-jesus

⭐️All content on the Grief Bites blog and website is copyright protected material. Please ask for permission to copy, use, or print. 

⭐️⭐️All content on the Grief Bites blog and website is for encouragement purposes only and is not in any way to be construed as medical, emotional, mental, relational, or psychological advice. We hope to serve as a bridge to encourage others by sharing our personal grief and life experiences. Please contact a qualified healthcare professional, mental health professional, or qualified pastor for guidance and advice.

Creating a Bucket List–Living Life to the Fullest in Spite of Loss

Jun16

Although nobody would willingly choose to go through grief or loss, good can come out of both experiences.

One of the most powerful lessons I personally learned from grief was to live life vibrantly, making the most of each and every day, because I painfully found that “tomorrow” is never promised.

People who have experienced deep grief are forever changed because grief completely changes everything.
It can change and challenge your emotions…your thoughts…your beliefs…your outlook…your relationships…your goals…everything!

Something else grief can change is your viewpoint on living life.

Many grievers, after thoroughly going through grief, are no longer willing to float through life or live a life of mediocrity. Other grievers are at the opposite end of the spectrum…they may be genuinely concerned they’ll never want to live life again…they may even believe that life will never be enjoyable or fulfilling.

That’s where a Bucket List comes to life.

Whether a griever doesn’t feel like living or enjoying life, or a griever wants to live life vibrantly to the fullest, a Bucket List is a very useful tool in grief recovery.

No matter where you are in your grief journey, consider buying a notebook and write down:
-everything you currently enjoy about life
-everything you previously enjoyed pre-grief
-any goals you want to achieve
-any places you’d like to travel to
-anything you’d like to
accomplish
-any dreams you’d like to see fulfilled
-family & friends you’d like to encourage or spend more time with
-any difference you’d like to make
-“life purpose” goals
-memories you’d like to create
-any new skills or hobbies you’d like to learn and enjoy
-any self improvements you’d like to create (spiritually, emotionally, mentally, physically, wellness, etc)
-any fun events you’d like to do or attend
-anything else God puts on your heart

Having a Bucket List ensures that life, memories, moments, and opportunities are never taken for granted…or wasted…ever again.

Grief takes away & destroys so much.
A Bucket List prevents future regrets and loss.

When life knocks your breath out of you, a previous solid commitment to living out a Bucket List can prevent continually “drowning” in life on your worst days.

Even though it can be hard, and sometimes it takes baby steps, think about how to improve the quality of life. On days when you feel like giving up, you’ll have a Bucket List of goals to press forward in life with.

Grief destroys everything in it’s wake and can make you feel hopeless…it “takes” your life & holds it hostage.
Living life, creating a Bucket List, and choosing to press forward…regardless of circumstances…begins the process of taking your life back from grief and freeing every part of your life!

So who will choose to buy a notebook today and get started?

Life awaits you!

©2014 Grief Bites. All rights reserved.

❤️If you were encouraged by this post, please feel free to share it to encourage others!

⭐️For more encouragement:

❤️Making peace with God: http://peacewithgod.net

❤️Getting Your Breath Back After Life Knocks It Out of You (Kim’s book): Click here for book

❤️Connect on Facebook by “liking” page: www.facebook.com/GettingYourBreathBackAfterGrief

❤️Kim’s blog: www.griefbites.com

❤️FREE YouVersion reading plans:

1. Grief Bites: Finding Treasure In Hardships: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/912-grief-bites-finding-treasure-in-hardships

2. Grief Bites: Doubt Revealed: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/954-grief-bites-doubt-revealed

3. Grief Bites: A New Approach To Growing Through Grief https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/862-grief-bites

4. Grief Bites: Hope For The Holidays: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/1964-grief-bites-hope-for-the-holidays


5. Experiencing Holidays With Jesus: Christmas: http://bible.com/r/3V5

6. Experiencing Holidays With Jesus: Happy New Year!: http://bible.com/r/3Zv

7. Valentine’s Day: Experiencing Holidays With Jesus: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/14059-valentines-day-experiencing-holidays-with-jesus

⭐️All content on the Grief Bites blog and website is copyright protected material. Please ask for permission to copy, use, or print. 

⭐️⭐️All content on the Grief Bites blog and website is for encouragement purposes only and is not in any way to be construed as medical, emotional, mental, relational, or psychological advice. We hope to serve as a bridge to encourage others by sharing our personal grief and life experiences. Please contact a qualified healthcare professional, mental health professional, or qualified pastor for guidance and advice.

Honoring Loved Ones Through Traditions, Kindness, & Encouragement

Jun7

“Grief … it’s painful. But if you transform it into remembrance, then you’re magnifying the person you lost and also giving something of that person to other people, so they can experience something of that person.” ~Patti Smith

If anyone has read my book, Getting Your Breath Back After Life Knocks It Out of You, then it is clearly known that I am a big advocate for remembering and honoring special loved ones who have passed away.

After my sister died from a short 3 week illness on Thanksgiving Day, I was absolutely despondent…it went beyond depression. We were best friends while growing up and did everything together. After she got married, I still talked to her on the phone every day and saw her several times a week. After she died, I felt her absence in an indescribably painful way.

The things we used to do together that we once greatly enjoyed, now brought intense heartache…and we did most everything together, so her death completely rocked my world.

One of the things we loved to do together was bake…we had always baked treats together since we were in elementary school. In fact, at the time of her death, we were planning on opening a home based bakery and candy making business.

The night before my sister died, I had two choices: go visit her in the hospital or go home to bake some of her favorite Thanksgiving treats to surprise her with at the hospital the next day.

I chose the latter…and regretted it for many years. I had no idea how sick she truly was and I truly despised myself for not choosing to go see her. The guilt and regret haunted me for years, so much that I specifically chose to not make the items I had baked for her ever again.

One day, years later, a thought came to mind…my sister would not want me to be overcome with guilt or regrets. She loved life and she would want me to do the same. She was in Heaven and was totally not upset at all. What once may have upset her on earth doesn’t upset her now in Heaven. She understood I was trying to do something nice for her…and she knew that if I was given all the facts, I would have instantly chosen to go see her and spend as much time with her as I could.

Grief truly teaches you powerful lessons. One of my greatest lessons was to put people first, above everything else.

After realizing that had I known better, I would have chosen better, I made the important decision to honor my sister’s life through doing things she enjoyed while on earth…and one of those things was to continue baking. I decided I was going to honor my sister’s memory by blessing other people with baked goods.

That very day, I made all four of the items I had made for my sister and brought them to a family dinner that my sister’s young daughters attended. The next day, I made the four items again and gave them to people who I knew were having a tough time in life. I found that I could honor my sister through encouraging others with the gift of baked goods.

I couldn’t believe how healing it was. It brought so much healing and freedom to my grief recovery that I wrote an entire chapter about it in my book and I frequently speak about this very topic at grief seminars.

Enjoying life through traditions and honoring loved ones was key to breaking through my greatest monumental grief plateaus.

 

Today, if you are greatly missing your loved one, consider doing an activity you once enjoyed together, a kind deed for someone, or offer encouragement in your loved one’s honor.

Choosing to bake treats for people who I sense are going through grief, especially around the holidays, is something I now enjoy doing.

Sometimes, I’ll anonymously pay for someone’s coffee behind me at Starbucks in my loved one’s honor.

I also go to a mexican restaurant every year on my sister’s birthday…and have a GREAT time in her honor.

Every Christmas, our family gets dressed up in pajamas and go look at Christmas lights together in honor of the tradition my dad started before he died.

 

I have my own post-grief  life filled with my own original activities and traditions, and I choose to not stay stagnant in the past, but I also enjoy incorporating old traditions and things I previously enjoyed doing with my loved ones too. It is a meaningful way to say, “You meant a lot to me. Thank you so much for all of our good memories together. I loved you then and I still love you now so I am going to honor and continue to remember you.”

Honor your loved one’s memory and continually recover from grief, but more importantly, recover your own life and your relationship with God so you can fulfill your life purpose and truly learn each and every day to live life to the fullest.

 

Sometimes, it can be difficult for grievers to honor their loved one(s) if there are guilt and regrets involved or if there were problems that were not worked out before a loved one’s death.

There have been times that I have had to forgive myself so I was able to press forward through my grief. Choosing to work out my guilt and regrets has truly been heart and life transforming.

We all make mistakes, and we all could forever dwell on the things we did wrong, but that ultimately accomplishes nothing. It just creates and brings about further loss and heartache.

Transforming our thoughts to think of all of the things we did right, how well we did love our loved ones, remembering all of the good times, and thinking of ways we can honor our loved one(s) is much more beneficial.

It is so important to remember that our loved ones do not harbor any negative feelings towards us. They completely forgive us.

We can stay stagnant in guilt and regrets or we can choose to bless another person, and our own hearts, by making a difference in the lives of others.

Through offering kindness and encouragement to others who are going through loss, you truly can make a difference.

I can’t think of a better way to truly honor my loved ones. I think they’d be very happy to know that I learned powerful life lessons through their deaths, that I still choose to enjoy the activities I once enjoyed with them…and I choose to thoroughly enjoy life itself…and that I choose to make the world a better place by encouraging others in their honor.

©2014 Grief Bites. All rights reserved.

❤️If you were encouraged by this post, please feel free to share it to encourage others!

⭐️For more encouragement:

❤️Making peace with God: http://peacewithgod.net

❤️Getting Your Breath Back After Life Knocks It Out of You (Kim’s book): Click here for book

❤️Connect on Facebook by “liking” page: www.facebook.com/GettingYourBreathBackAfterGrief

❤️Kim’s blog: www.griefbites.com

❤️FREE YouVersion reading plans:

1. Grief Bites: Finding Treasure In Hardships: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/912-grief-bites-finding-treasure-in-hardships

2. Grief Bites: Doubt Revealed: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/954-grief-bites-doubt-revealed

3. Grief Bites: A New Approach To Growing Through Grief https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/862-grief-bites

4. Grief Bites: Hope For The Holidays: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/1964-grief-bites-hope-for-the-holidays


5. Experiencing Holidays With Jesus: Christmas: http://bible.com/r/3V5

6. Experiencing Holidays With Jesus: Happy New Year!: http://bible.com/r/3Zv

7. Valentine’s Day: Experiencing Holidays With Jesus: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/14059-valentines-day-experiencing-holidays-with-jesus

⭐️All content on the Grief Bites blog and website is copyright protected material. Please ask for permission to copy, use, or print. 

⭐️⭐️All content on the Grief Bites blog and website is for encouragement purposes only and is not in any way to be construed as medical, emotional, mental, relational, or psychological advice. We hope to serve as a bridge to encourage others by sharing our personal grief and life experiences. Please contact a qualified healthcare professional, mental health professional, or qualified pastor for guidance and advice.