Grief & Holidays—helpful tip #9

Situations of grief can bring you to—and leave you—in a bad place mentally, spiritually, and emotionally if you don’t carefully guard your heart. And the holidays can bring major temptations when going through grief or loss.

Life happens, and sometimes, it’s just seriously unfair.

Since life doesn’t offer an instruction book on grief, many are ill equipped to know what to do with their tough emotions and can then be vulnerable to making poor decisions.

Grief is highly emotional…and illogical. When going through grief or life challenges, you can become desperate to feel better. So, choices made while going through grief can be illogical, too.

Today’s holiday tip: Guard your spirit, heart, thoughts and emotions, and be very careful not to succumb to addictions or to self-medicating your pain.

Addictions come in many forms. The most common addictions are alcohol, drugs, prescription drugs, staying constantly busy so as to not think about your grief as much, accruing massive debt due to over shopping or gambling, extreme dieting or fitness, adultery/sexual addictions, or overeating. There are many other addictions, but these are probably the most common.

Addictions have a way of making you feel temporarily better, yet they always make you pay a much higher price (through consequences) than you’d ever want to pay. It’s like borrowing $5 but then having to pay back $50,000.

Addictions and self-medicating will leave you with guilt, regrets, additional brokenness, and compounded grief. They will also prove to be extremely costly and damaging to your family, relationships, and finances.

So how do you feel better?

It’s probably not what you want to hear, but it is absolute truth: embrace your grief, learn every life lesson you can from it, and grow through it.

There just are no good detours to getting through grief. You can’t go around it, over it, under it, or fast forward through it…you have to go through it in grief’s timing.

When my son was little, one of his favorite games was Candy Land. He always hated landing on the spot that had the ladder that slid him right back to the very beginning of the game. That’s exactly what addictions will do…slide you right back down a ladder that makes you start all over in your grief again. It’s far better to go through your grief and avoid any further loss.

Wherever you are this month, be sure to never foolishly put yourself in a bad situation or an unwise place where you know it will end up feeding your addiction. Surround yourself with good people and only go to wise places where you know you can truly guard your heart.

If you’ve already given in to addictions, consider getting help so you can overcome them. Many people in my grief group who have struggled with addictions have attended Celebrate Recovery and have reported wonderful and amazing things. Feel free to check Celebrate Recovery here:
You can also here a helpful message here about CR from Rick Warren:

Going through hurts and needing help is nothing to be ashamed of. In fact, getting the encouragement and help you need takes a lot of courage.

I also believe it can be very effective to value the amazing creation God made you to be. I’m a big advocate of pursuing spiritual, physical, mental, and emotional wellness. Scheduling daily time with God and loved ones, scheduling daily time to relax, exercise, self reflect, and making time for self enrichment are very important.

Your life is important and so very precious! Seek to make every single day of your life count and always seek ways to better yourself, grow through your grief and struggles, so you are freed up to live a great life!

May everybody enjoy a peaceful Christmas filled with love, wisdom, and encouragement!

Gratitude & many blessings,

©2015 by Kim Niles. All rights reserved.

❤️If you were encouraged by this post, please feel free to share it to encourage others!

💛For more encouragement:

⭐️Making peace with God:

⭐️Kim’s blog:

⭐️Connect on Facebook by “liking” page:

⭐️FREE YouVersion reading plans:
1. Grief Bites: Hope For The Holidays:
2. Grief Bites: Finding Treasure In Hardships:
3. Grief Bites: Doubt Revealed:
4. Grief Bites: A New Approach To Growing Through Grief

⭐️Getting Your Breath Back After Life Knocks It Out of You (book)


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