I am frequently asked at Grief Bites meetings and the seminars I speak at, “What’s the timeline for my grief?…When will I feel better?…When will life get back to normal?”
These are genuine, heartfelt, tough questions…with tougher answers.
Anyone who has experienced deep grief can relate to what Keanu Reeves once said, after he experienced the death of his baby and the child’s mother within a year of each other, “Grief changes shape, but it never ends.”
I originally thought that grief had a beginning and an ending. I thought a day would come where I’d wake up, and all of my grief would be forever behind me. Grief, in my mind, would eventually be something that would one day be in my past, after I thoroughly worked it out.
The problem is, that’s just not the way grief works.
Grief has no cookie-cutter timeline. It has a beginning, but there is no clear-cut ending.
Mr. Reeves is right—grief continually morphs.
Once grief attaches itself to you, it is permanently velcroed to your heart…and life never goes back to the exact way it once was. It simply can’t because the people you loved are no longer here to make life exactly the same. And there are so many reminders of the void: a favorite song randomly comes on the radio…you drive by your treasured loved one’s favorite restaurant…and then there’s the birthdays, anniversaries, Thanksgiving, Christmas, Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, Valentine’s Day, and all the other holidays that were previously enjoyed with your loved one(s). And if all of these don’t painfully remind you of the intense void, then the memories that fill your heart and mind will.
So does that mean life will never be good again? Are you destined to never feel better? Will holidays forever be heartbreaking vortexes of intense void that suck the life out of you? Will the memories, photos, and home videos always be painful?
I’m looking forward to sharing with you in my next blogpost how to not only navigate through grief and get your breath (and life!) back, but to turn your grief into great meaning and value!
There is HOPE!
May all of you have a very blessed weekend! 💕
Gratitude & blessings,
©2015 by Kim Niles. All rights reserved.
Getting Your Breath Back After Life Knocks It Out of You (book): http://www.barnesandnoble.com/mobile/w/getting-your-breath-back-after-life-knocks-it-out-of-you-kbh-niles/1112403330?ean=9781449725617
Kim’s blog: http://www.griefbites.com
Connect on Facebook by “liking” page: http://www.facebook.com/GettingYourBreathBackAfterGrief
FREE YouVersion reading plans:
1. Grief Bites: Finding Treasure In Hardships: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/912-grief-bites-finding-treasure-in-hardships
2. Grief Bites: Doubt Revealed: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/954-grief-bites-doubt-revealed
3. Grief Bites: A New Approach To Growing Through Grief: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/862-grief-bites
4. Grief Bites: Hope For The Holidays: (Coming November 4, 2015)