When going through deep grief, holidays can seem to lose their previous joy, sparkle and specialness.
- Suddenly, the tree that used to shine bright holding treasured ornaments and memories can now bring about intense sadness
- Baking treats and making favorite dishes for a loved one who is no longer here can now bring about incredible heartache
- Old traditions can now bring intense pain…even anxiety.
- And seeing happy couples and cheerful families can bring about feelings of depression, despair, or even jealousy
It is very painful navigating through the holidays when going through the loss of a loved one, a divorce, miscarriage, financial loss, family/marital conflict, or other losses.
…And it can be extra painful and burdensome when family and friends do not understand or agree with how you are handling your grief.
Today’s holiday tip is:
Grieve how you need to grieve. Do not put on yourself the extra pressure to have the “perfect” holidays.
Just like you are having to create a new “normal” in day-to-day life, you will most likely need the freedom to do holidays differently for a season as well.
Explain to family & friends that the holidays are going to be tough on you and ask them for their help, support, and compassion.
Some grievers may be able to do all of their usual holiday traditions, while others may not.
BOTH are perfectly fine!
Pray about and consider what you need to do, or not do, this holiday season and come to a place of peace about it.
It doesn’t mean it will always be like this…just because you choose something this year doesn’t mean it will be cemented or always be like this…it simply means you are doing what you need to do THIS holiday season.
Communication is key! Talk about it with your loved ones, so as to avoid hurt feelings or conflict. Compromise may also be needed.
I am praying for all of you to have a special and meaningful holiday season, and also praying you are surrounded by understanding and caring family & friends who will encourage you this month and next.
It can take time to find a new holiday normal, so don’t be hard on yourself. It takes time to work out broken hearts and broken lives.
The first few years are the absolute hardest, but through genuinely working out your grief, holidays CAN hold great joy again…in time!
Gratitude & blessings,
©2014 by Kim Niles. All rights reserved.
Getting Your Breath Back After Life Knocks It Out of You (book): http://www.barnesandnoble.com/mobile/w/getting-your-breath-back-after-life-knocks-it-out-of-you-kbh-niles/1112403330?ean=9781449725617
Kim’s blog: http://www.griefbites.com
Connect on Facebook by “liking” page: http://www.facebook.com/GettingYourBreathBackAfterGrief
FREE YouVersion reading plans:
1. Grief Bites: Finding Treasure In Hardships: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/912-grief-bites-finding-treasure-in-hardships
2. Grief Bites: Doubt Revealed: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/954-grief-bites-doubt-revealed
3. Grief Bites: A New Approach To Growing Through Grief: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/862-grief-bites
4. Grief Bites: Hope For The Holidays: (Coming November 4, 2015)